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Original poster

Helping strangers

19 replies

PrancerandDancer · 17/12/2022 10:26

So yesterday I fell on ice walking my dog and have broken my wrist, need an op next week.

However, something about the walk is playing on my mind.

So I slipped walking up a path on a housing estate right outside someone's house. Once I managed to get myself up, I sat down on a bench on their garden quiet visably upset and with my dog who was barking. The bench was a few steps from the path where I fell. I sat there for a few minutes until I was over the shock and I had a chance to calm and stabilise my arm.

However, the people living in the house stood at the window with a mug watching me. At that's it they just stood there watching, so I soon got up and shuffled off home sobbing.

I know they don't have to do anything and may have been annoyed I was on their bench.

But it just struck me as odd. I can't imagine been in that situation and not popping my head out at least and asking if there were OK.

So I guess this is a WWYD....

I guess there is a million reasons why they didn't help. However there was a man and women, in their early 30s. Just found it a bit upsetting.

OP posts:

7Worfs · 17/12/2022 10:33

I hope you recover quickly. 💐

It’s awful that people would gawp and not at least ask “everything OK?” I’d hate to live among such people.
I left London for a small town and it’s much better here - strangers on walks greet each other/smile.

Original poster

PrancerandDancer · 17/12/2022 10:43

Thank you @7Worfs yes most people on my street help each other and would absolutely stop to check. This was further up the estate and just really surprised me.

Just wondered what others would do, I'm stuck on the sofa with nothing much else to do 🤦‍♀️😁

OP posts:

MermaidEyes · 17/12/2022 10:48

If I thought someone was in trouble I would try and help, however, maybe they couldn't actually see you were upset and were just wondering why you were sat on their bench with a barking dog?

123woop · 17/12/2022 10:50

That's really weird! Not normal behaviour in my view but I guess it depends where you live - in my mum's old house there were lots of scammers who would feign that they'd been knocked over by a car or been mugged etc, so someone would come out of their house to help them and then they'd either have someone go in the back door to rob them or mug them on the street of their jewellery etc. Absolutely dreadful but might suggest why they didn't come and help?
I still think it's really odd behaviour though, especially if it was in daylight and there were multiple people at home!

Emmamoo89 · 17/12/2022 10:50

Aww hope you recover quickly. I would of come out and helped x

CremeEggThief · 17/12/2022 10:56

I'm sorry you have had this experience and I would have come out if I saw it, but I'm really not surprised. Most people don't like to get involved.

On Good Friday last year I had to be out alone for a reason the day after I heard my dad died suddenly and I broke down in tears waiting for a bus. I was sobbing for 20-30 minutes on a bench opposite a fish and chip shop with a big queue outside. Not a single person in that queue came over or asked if I was okay. 😥

pimlicoanna · 17/12/2022 11:07

I have stood with a mug watching several people (not at the same time) who have fallen on the ice right outside my window this week whilst I'm walking at home. Each time I've heard a thud/yelp I've stood up to see if I think they are ok/need help etc. I'm sure that person was doing the same. Not everyone is the same as you and would be confident to go out and speak to a stranger. I really doubt it was malicious.

mincepiepie · 17/12/2022 11:11

Yes I would help.

Although I'd watch for a bit and suss it out. Dh wouldn't help.

I've helped two people who have fallen in the past one was a 38 week pregnant woman who fell flat on her face as she tripped on a kerb. She was slim and dressed professionally and this was in Farringdon, mid July summer sandals. So many people men walked straight past her before I got there. She was ok and an ambulance was called.

The next was a huge American lady on a cruise ship who fell flat on her face as she entered a tourist shop in port and no one helped her so I went and helped her up she (offered her my hand but i really had to haul her as she was about 20st) got her a chair and asked for help from the shop as she had cut some part of her body. Embarrassingly her husband and friends were right behind her and just let me carry on. I was a bit embarrassed actually thinking I had overstepped. No idea what the right think to do anymore. No one thanked me. I think it was weird but also Maybe I was in the wrong, interfered.

Can't win

mincepiepie · 17/12/2022 11:14

The fact she was slim and professional dressed is relevant as I couldn't tell she was heavily pregnant (as I was behind her ) until she was getting up.

SinnerBoy · 17/12/2022 11:14

I'd have come out to see if you were OK, I have done in the past. Some time ago, two women were passing and one slipped and banged her head, it was pouring with rain. I invited them to sit in the house and offered to call an ambulance.

They came in and sat down, whilst she recovered. I never even asked their names!

DisplayPurposesOnly · 17/12/2022 11:32

It depends on if I'd seen you fall, tbh. If I'd seen that then saw you on the bench, then yes I'd've come out to you.

If I hadn't seen you fall, if I'd only seen you sat on the bench I'd've left you to it. Maybe if you'd been there a long time, I'd've checked then because it's unusual for someone to sit in a stranger's garden.

OwwwMuuuum · 17/12/2022 11:35

How horrible for you OP! You never know what was going on in their life. They could have just had some bad news, a major argument, be at a vital point in their audiobook.

Even so, it’s mean not to have at least popped their heads out and say are you ok.

Original poster

PrancerandDancer · 17/12/2022 15:41

Thanks everyone it's really interesting to hear some perspectives on this. I understand the reasons why not to help. Just sad that people feel unsafe or unable. I've always remembered help from strangers in the past and how much it was appreciated.

I was a bit emotional yesterday so that may have clouded my judgement

@CremeEggThief I'm so sorry how horrible for you x

OP posts:

SinnerBoy · 17/12/2022 16:22

DisplayPurposesOnly

It depends on if I'd seen you fall, tbh. If I'd seen that then saw you on the bench, then yes I'd've come out to you.

I've just read that the bench was in, not by their garden. They may have been a bit worried about the strange woman with a noisy dog in their garden and how she might react, if they went out!

JamMakingWannaBe · 17/12/2022 16:49

Jeezo. What is wrong with some people?

I'd have checked you were ok, called your DH/DP, made you a nice sugary hot tea, dropped your dog back home and taken you to A&E.

I've done similar in the past.

user1471538283 · 17/12/2022 16:54

People! I would have offered to help you.

I fell outside work and 2 colleagues ignored me. One walked past me. God forbid that they might have to do something. I managed to drive home in agony.

But I've also been helped by several people in another incident.

I hope you are well soon.

MeJane · 17/12/2022 16:56

I blame those stupid online videos for things like this. Some people are scared to get involved with things in case they are being filmed.

slavetothekittens · 17/12/2022 17:33

I would have come out and asked if you were okay.

I've helped people who have fallen before today as I know the feeling. I've also brought an elderly woman with dementia home with me while I sussed out where she lived so I could take her home....she was wandering in the middle of a busy road, looking for her friend to go to play bingo.

warofthemonstertrucks · 17/12/2022 19:00

Sorry this happens to you. I broke my arm this time last year and it was the pits. Additionally I fell over today on some ice (thankfully nothing broken). Both times I was helped by passers by which was lovely (and necessary the first time as I also hit my head). I think the people in your case were a bit weird and not very nice. If I saw some one hurt I would help and I have done in the past.
Hope you recover quickly.

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