Where is this trend of selfishness and entitlement going to end?

[INACGMOOH]

I've noticed more and more instances of people being rude, selfish and entitled being written about on here and on other social media. Examples include: people talking loudly / eating Pringles in theatre performances, people having TVs / music on loudly in shared wards in hospitals, people ignoring the highway code etc. In my work (teaching) I have seen an increase in parents get more and more demanding and entitled (e.g. refusing to provide school uniform, getting the school to change their procedures to suit them, arguing that they don't need to hear their children read etc).

It seems that as a society we have moved to become more selfish and less considerate.

Moving forward I can see that it's likely to get worse before it gets better. What can we do to try and reverse this trend?

You think in the last 20 years we have reversed the consistent trend of the last 900 years and now have a murder rate comparable to the 1200s again? Okey dokey

I agree with you @Changechangychange but I think it's a hard argument to make as facts Vs feelings is usually won by feelings.

Yes, I was referring to the period after it was banned (first by bus companies then law) but people still did it. That's my point.

Another example is people used to flout drink driving rules in huge numbers, it took time for that to become socially unacceptable. The psychology of someone who in 1990 drove home a bit pissed was no different to someone now ignoring rules to switch of phones. Humans are not changing that much, there have always been problems.

The psychological reason humans tend to think the past was better is typically humans become less optimistic/risk taking as they age, what people are nostalgic for is not the world as it was but their own psychological state of their younger years. I can feel it happening to me, but the objective reality is not the same as a feeling.

Most religions have a golden rule. In Christianity it’s love thy neighbour. As more and more people are turning their backs on religion they are not being taught this rule. It’s not really something schools can teach, although schools try, it has to be modelled by families and societies.

science and technology has replaced religion and for the most part that’s perfectly fine, but what it can’t do is offer moral guidance. People are enthralled by social media and instant gratification.

en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Golden_Rule

I find these threads odd. Because all the behaviours that people label as new or more prevalent, are things I remember happening often in my childhood.

The kids who were appalling badly behaved, all through school, who had their parents at school blaming the teachers. Dads threatening and blustering at school to show off how manly they were. Mums protecting banging on about how badly done to their child was.

Some parents not caring about their education, homework and actively enjoying their kids failing. Some not sending their kids to school at all, not providing uniform. Neglected kids. The further you go back the less likely it was that people would report these things.

General selfish behaviour from others in restaurants, cinemas etc. all happened.

I, personally, think people get to a certain age and start noticing it more. Every generation has believed the one after it and the one before it is more selfish, more lazy, more sensitive.

@carefulcalculator i guess the drop in violence depends on what you’re looking at. Most shops I go to have signs up about violence and aggression. My work are in the process of authorising body cams because we have seen a year on year increase. I’ve been threatened at work, verbally abused and it’s definitely worse than 10 years ago when I started.

I actually don’t think everything being private would improve things. People will say they’re paying for the service so they be more demanding. You can see this in Higher Education where students now pay for a ‘service’ so expect their every demand to be met.

A lot of the social narrative — whether that’s in the press or messages from government etc — are about scarcity of resources. Jobs, transport, homes, school places, food, heat, power, fuel, clothing… all that scarcity makes people feel like they’re in competition with each other, and the metaphorical sharp elbows come out.

Been going on for several millenia and probably be the case until the end of humanity.

I don’t think behaviour has massively changed recently, nor do I think it’s a new wave of “entitled parents”. In fact, when I think back to the rudest people I’ve encountered in the last few years, they’ve pretty much all been boomer aged.

There is a weird tolerance for very poor behaviour. The mum of another child screamed obscenities at my child while her children and their friends surrounded him, pushing ans shoving. She never apologised and in onversation with a few other parents, those who are friendly with her are 100%unwilling to admit that her behaviour was completely unacceptable. There's a lot of "there are 2 sides" but I can't get my head around it.

I would.like to think that in a another time and place this woman would have been shunned. But perhaps I am naive.

Partly that people need to stop being so damn British about things and ask people to stop. Most of the the time they will, I find, but you will get the occasional person who is slack-jawed with amazement that you've asked them to stop doing something they apparently had no idea was obnoxious (in one case a lad's response to me asking him to turn his music off in a tube carriage was 'Bu' it's mine!', as if that were reason enough).

Sometimes I don't bother if it's just a few stops on the tube, but I will ask people to turn the sound off on their phone games (they always have done) or whether they could put on headphones if watching or listening to something - about half the time they do actually have them, they presumably couldn't be arsed to take them out of their bag or something.

A petty example - I live near a primary school and often am walking to the station to go to work, as parents are bringing their children to school, but in the the opposite direction.
Every day I have to walk on to a grass/muddy verge or in the road, so parents and children walking 3 abreast can pass. I am rarely acknowledged - its as if its not possible at all for them to move, or that they're entitled to make the journey without moving for anyone!
. I've also had to squeeze myself into a hedge rather than have a small child scoot into my legs as they veer all over the pavement on their scooter.
My DC are teens now and I admit it did take an age, for DS especially, to have an awareness of other people. But I made him aware, asked him to move to one side, or when small enough, moved him myself to let people pass.

Now if we go out together they will naturally move to one side for people coming in the opposite direction. I thought this was quite normal...but it doesn't seem to be for a large number of people!

But the OP is not talking about poverty. They are talking about the parents who people see showing a disregards for the rules, because they simply dont want them to apply to them. They believe they have reason not to meet the school rules. Entitled behavior.

I think its quite narrow minded to group people to be like daily fail readers when they are telling you what they see, not read.

Anyway, i think we have some amazing young people up and coming, i see lots who are well mannered and kind. Lots who aspire for great things and encourage change

I also see those that are vile. And these are children ad young as 5 who have such an attitude towards staff as if they can and should be allowed to do as they choose, i see lots of parents backing their children or encouraging their children in these attitudes. They can't have their child be told no, its awful and these children will grow to be a challenge to themselves in the real world.

I see so many people calling out others nice behaviour as virute signalling or those wanting to be kind to everyone as woke, while people keep trying to demonise nice, good behaviour there will be problems.

We fo have major problems in this country, to say otherwise people must be unaware of what's happening,it's a disgrace. I like to make sure i know what's happening, but also try to see the bits of good there is in our society and hold on to that.

It probably needs a number of things to happen.

One we can do something about is never electing a Tory government again.

People naturally get more selfish when there's a recession. We've effectively been in one for over 10 years with austerity etc. Most people in this country now live in desperate conditions, it's no surprise that they also behave in a a desperate way.

Interesting isn't it, women are now being advised through everything from life coaching, mentoring and coaching at work, relationship counselling and even passing the message to their daughters to

be heard
find your voice
standing your ground
don't be walked over
dont be down-trodden
speak your mind
question
challenge
be assertive

and here we have a thread telling us

we're entitled
we're selfish
keep quiet
don't argue
follow the rules even if they make no sense or put us into hardship (eg school uniforms)

No thank you, "it took me all my life to find my voice, I'm going to use it!"

What we're not good at is having the emotional intelligence to see things from others' perspectives and brand people entitled when at least some of the time they may have a point, but we're not willing to accept or seek to understand it.

Then why are we branding those people as "selfish" ? Surely if they are in poverty and in desperate need that doesn't make them selfish/entitled that people on this thread seem to want to hurl accusation and judgement at - they are in hardship and trying to do their best in miserable inhumane circumstances.

Whilst rude, selfish, disrespectful behaviour has always been around, it does seem to be more frequent and obvious to me at the moment than it used to be.

Just one example, my church held a christingle service last Sunday. We've held christingle services every year for years. They are busy, noisy, fun child-friendly services where we welcome lots and lots of families who don't normally come to church. No child is expected to sit quietly - noise, movement, crying babies and toddlers and so on is expected. Every year we've had a lovely and chaotic time.

This year was something else though.

Adults chatting all the way through - the vicar had to ask them to quiet down before she began her talk, and again before the prayers. This was the adults, not the children.

Young children being allowed to run amok among the sound equipment (a couple of leads were pulled out of their sockets before the parents thought to intervene).

The mess left behind was unbelievable. Of course some mess is expected when you combine oranges, sweets, candles and children together. But litter was just dropped all over the floor and left among the chairs. It resembled a cinema at the end of a film.

I don't know why it was so different this year, but it was very noticable. I genuinely think some of the adults thought we were there to put on free entertainment for their kids while they had a chat.

I went on YouTube recently to find old safety videos about icy lakes for the kids -theres a really devastating one.
What I also found was a treasure trove of 1960s public information films about not being rude to other drivers. And there it was: "Drivers nowadays are not as respectful as they were" etc. It was quite sweet really.

It's not entitled to refuse to go into debt for school uniform. Schools need to allow parents to buy uniform from supermarkets, not just the overpriced uniform shop.

When huan beings finally go extinct I imagine