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Original poster

So unhappy I want to die

32 replies

babysharksb1tch · 15/12/2022 20:41

At least in theory. But I don't want to die really, I want to live the life I should be living, but I'm not. This makes me want to die. Not sure the point in this post just having a really bad night.

OP posts:
clpsmum · 15/12/2022 21:50

babysharksb1tch · 15/12/2022 20:46

My little boy is non verbal and autistic... I want him to speak, to acknowledge me, to not struggle in life. To do all of the things other kids take for granted.

I want to take part in parent chat with friends without feeling like a fake parent. My friends talk about their children speaking to them and playing and this is something I can't even imagine.

I want to not worry about my little girl being autistic too. It consumes my every waking thought. If she is that would break me

I want to have a relationship with my husband. Our sons needs have broken us. We barely speak.

I want to be happy at work. My job was changed during maternity leave and I feel so unhappy there.

I'm just deeply, deeply sad and angry and exhausted. I can't keep living this life.

Chat to me. I have been in your position including being worried sick the younger sibling has autism too. You can message me anytime to chat to somebody who gets it. Sending hugs. One day at a time 🤗

clpsmum · 15/12/2022 21:50

cestlavielife · 15/12/2022 20:53

Social servces children with disabilities team
Get assessed get respite in the new year
Get him into spevcalist nursery which will work on communication eg PECS

Unfortunately it's not that easy anymore 😰

Jellycats4life · 15/12/2022 21:52

I’m sorry you’re feeling so hopeless. The lack of support and respite for parents of disabled kids is scandalous.

My kids are autistic too, although not with such high support needs, but even then I understand how it feels to have such a hard life compared with most parents. How small and limiting life can feel. How even the simplest family things are not achievable.

At the risk of sounding like the (fairly useless) community paediatrician who diagnosed my kids, are there any local charities/support groups out there? Sometimes, just being able to meet parents who get it is so therapeutic. And these parents know more about navigating life with autistic kids than any professional.

cestlavielife · 15/12/2022 22:20

clpsmum · 15/12/2022 21:50

Unfortunately it's not that easy anymore 😰

Show quote history

I know it is not easy
But it is important to ask
And to be prepared to hand over your child to be looked after by someone else

Xgle · 15/12/2022 22:30

My DH is autistic, he was non verbal too until 5, but now his verbal communication skills are a lot better than the majority of the people I know, he can sell ice to Eskimo and easily make friends with absolutely anyone. I know it’s hard but there is light at the end of the tunnel when they grow up

Fireflygal · 15/12/2022 22:37

@DancingLedgend A lovely compassionate post. I hope it gives the Op some comfort

mamabear715 · 15/12/2022 23:33

Huge hugs, @babysharksb1tch & anyone in the same situation. I'm so sorry. :-(

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