Unwell on days off - is this a thing?

[Pondere]

I have a 20 month old, and went back to work when he was a year old. He doesn’t sleep well at all and wakes every 2-3 hours (before anyone starts, we have tried everything apart from CIO. He’s a very sensitive little boy and so think he just needs that reassurance through the night).

It means I have not had a good nights sleep since he was born. I just get on with it but every now and then I feel exhausted and go to bed early for a few nights to rest.

Since I’ve been back at work, I have had 4 days of leave where he is at nursery and DH is at work, so that I can have a lazy / self care day on my own. And on each of those days, I have felt physically unwell, so much so that I have to spend the entire day on the sofa and can’t go to the massage I have booked, etc. My entire body just aches and I have no energy whatsoever.

So it got me thinking, is that my body giving up? It powers through a very demanding job and a demanding toddler every day, and when I have a day of none of that, it’s like my body needs a rest so much that it physically hurts.

I could very well simply be unwell. DS was in hospital over the weekend and due to lack of space, we were sharing the A&E room with two other sick children whilst he was being treated, so I could actually be coming down with whatever they had and actually be unwell. But it seems to be too much of a coincidence now!

I think that's normal. Mine slept well thankfully but come school hols I was always wiped out for a few days. Even now mine are older if I get a day off I don't feel like doing much due to work wearing me out all week. It's probably good thing you can take some rest days.

Could you tag team with DH and he takes toddler all day and you do same following day so you can both get a rest day some weekends.

Also DS should be able to sleep longer. You need to start prioritising your needs now & focus on getting him to sleep better. It's not sustainable to go on with so little sleep.

I'm not criticising btw just think you need some sleep too!

Re sleep, honestly, I don’t know what to do. We have had sleep consultants, co-slept, slept in separate rooms, gentle sleep trained, controlled crying, and nothing works. He can happily put himself to sleep but he still wakes regularly.

With DH, we give each other a morning lie in and occasionally I will ask him to take DS out for the day so I can rest, but it’s knowing I have a rest day planned that I always become unwell.

I think it's a sign of impending burnout TBH. However not sure there is much to be done about it when working with a young child. It just is exhausting. I go to bed with DC about 1-2x per week and that helps.

It’s definitely a thing!

I work 3, 12.5 hour shifts a week and he first day off I always feel awful! Spend it sleeping mostly!
im also studying a degree and am a single parent to a 4 year old. I’m currently recovering from complete burnout so be careful

Absolutely a thing. I took 4 days off recently and did literally nothing. I needed to recuperate.

When I was teaching full time and a single mum of three, I’ve lost count of the number of times I’ve been ill during the school holidays yet never missed a day off work! Christmas seemed worse, I guess the added stress of getting food and presents ready, but luckily we always went to my mums house and I used to lie of the sofa for frequent naps!

It's definitely a thing in teaching. I've rarely had sick days (except recently with covid). Always ill school hols.

Hopefully the sleep thing will improve. I think you should work on having full day off at weekend. Tbh I never had this but DH did and I would take children off for weekend to visit family. I wish I had been firmer in insisting on time off myself. I went through a stage of having tooth abscess every Christmas when children were tiny.

I don’t know if it is a thing but yes; I had this when the kids were small. It’s probably exhaustion in disguise

It’s definitely a thing, my DH used to get I’ll on nearly every holiday we went on. He’d keep going and as soon as he stopped working he’d get ill.

I think as parents we learn to keep going no matter what until we have a chance for a break. When you know you have a day off, your body is asking you to give it the rest it needs, so you end up feeling unwell to force you to just rest and not do anything else. That's what I think anyway. Most of my days off from work and childcare etc end up being me pretty much doing nothing so I can get some rest. Hopefully your little one starts sleeping better at some point so you can get a good night's sleep regularly too!!

Just to add, I think it's the same idea as when you've had a really long day but you just power through and the exhaustion doesn't hit you until you finally sit down at the end of the day.

It is absolutely a thing.
I tend to go 100 miles and hour for weeks or sometimes months on end then when I finally stop or get a quiet weekend I end up knackered with a migraine.

Normal, unfortunately. October half term is notorious for new teachers being ill, they keep going til then and boom, collapse!

It's definitely a thing OP. It's like your body manages to power through long hours of a demanding job and then collapses when it's got a chance. I was often ill when I got time off and it was very annoying and disappointing - perhaps your body is telling you to take things a bit easier. Easier said than done, I know.

So I think I am actually unwell…come down with good old D&V whilst DS had constant poonamis last night.

😫

Yes it's absolutely a thing! Google leisure sickness. I read somewhere that it may be to do with cortisol and adrenaline levels or something like that. Your body relaxes when you have time off and if you're run down/burnt out you feel unwell. Often happens to be on a Saturday after a busy week of work.