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Original poster

What would you do if posh chocolate was sent to you?

49 replies

YourSpleenIsDamp · 15/12/2022 00:29

Odd issue with my parents, who are mid seventies. Not huge in itself, but there have been a couple of occasions recently where I've thought WTF, and I'm slightly worried about them, particularly as we live a couple of hundred miles apart.

Boyfriend of 5 years sent my parents a Christmas present, and has sent similar gifts in previous years when we haven't seen them on Christmas Day itself. Fab, handmade, posh chocolates (and they each have very specific dietary requirements, which the chocolate catered for); I think he spent around fifty quid. My mum mentioned earlier on the phone that they'd received some chocolate, but thought it must be some kind of scam as it didn't say who it was from, so they'd donated it to their local food bank. It can't have arrived more than a week ago. I'm really confused as to why they'd immediately think "scam!" - how could chocolate be a scam?!

Boyfriend has checked with the company, and apparently their website glitched, which meant the gift message hadn't been enclosed, so they were right that it didn't say who it was from. But why on earth would they just get rid of it immediately?! Why wouldn't they ask me or my sister, or any of their own siblings if they'd sent it before donating it? Is it just me, or is that really quite an odd thing to do?

OP posts:
picnicshicnic · 15/12/2022 00:34

Yes, it is strange.

As you say, how could it be a scam?

And if they suspected it somehow wasn't safe to eat, they shouldn't have donated to the foodbank?

(Your bf should explain to the chocolate company though, because it's been their mistake that's ruined the gift. They really should rectify it.)

ProtectorExtraordinaryOfTheCantonsOfNim · 15/12/2022 00:35

This is the sort of incident where, if there have been other similar things, I'd share your concern. When MIL was in (what turned out to be) the early stages of dementia things that confused her did often seem to be interpreted in a slightly paranoid way.

But equally they might have just been reading a lot of stories about scams recently and so had scams on their mind when the chocolates arrived.

mathanxiety · 15/12/2022 00:42

Sounds as if they have adopted a paranoid approach to life's little surprises. The paranoid mindset is very hard to crack.

It's a concern because as you point out it involves a bypass of common sense. There were multiple failures of common sense here - first when they didn't recall that your BF sometimes sends them Christmas gifts, second when they forgot it was Christmas and that people send gifts at Christmas, third when they didn't call close relatives to find out who had sent the chocolates, and fourth when they donated potentially poisoned chocolates to the food bank.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

Christmas General food
Pelo22 · 15/12/2022 00:51

Weirdly my dad got some chocolates today (he's mid 70s) in a similar way (he wasn't expecting them)
He opened the card and it said "from one of Pelos friends blah blah"
Me "did you eat the chocolates?"
I think he had them open before he even read the card BlushGrin

ilovesooty · 15/12/2022 00:57

My sister once received some chocolates spelling out "Thank you from Angela". She was mystified but thankfully she didn't eat them. They were for me from my line manager. Our dozy receptionist sent them to my next of kin by mistake.

saraclara · 15/12/2022 01:05

There have been stories in the media recently about deliveries of unordered items, like iPhones or random stuff from Amazon, and it is a scam.

www.reviversoft.com/blog/2020/05/why-receiving-packages-you-didnt-order-is-a-problem/

Your parents might actually be more on the ball than you, and have heard about this.

BabyofMine · 15/12/2022 01:06

Hmm could it be that they actually don’t like the expensive chocolates and this is their not so subtle way of saying it? Maybe it’s not so much they thought they were poisoned but they weren’t even interested in them so why would they keep scam chocolate (in their eyes) they don’t even want?!

Limpshade · 15/12/2022 01:06

My in-laws are like this. Opened our Christmas present yesterday as a box arrived and they "didn't know what it was". It was clearly marked as having come from our (foreign) city and arrived a week before Christmas. You would think it would be obvious it was a Christmas present but apparently they were "suspicious" Hmm I warn my own Mum when I'm sending anything through the post as it would likely get thrown away without formal announcement of it's impending arrival Confused

Limpshade · 15/12/2022 01:09

Loathe to say it's a generational thing though as other relatives are not like this at all!

saraclara · 15/12/2022 01:14

More on the unordered items scam

www.which.co.uk/news/article/one-million-households-in-the-uk-potentially-hit-by-amazon-brushing-scams-aOlvL6a9vXC9

Seriously, I'm surprised in the only one so far who's mentioned this. It's been all over my media, and in daytime consumer TV programmes, which means that OP's parents might well have been abetted to unsolicited parcels being suspicious.

Just Google it.

saraclara · 15/12/2022 01:14

Alerted, not abetted

MardyMincepie · 15/12/2022 01:19

The one thing I would be a bit iffy about would be anything edible.

Bestcatmum · 15/12/2022 01:31

My parents are also very odd. Just about anything is a scam to them - they would probably think it was from a local drug lord trying to get them hooked on heroin.

Bestcatmum · 15/12/2022 01:32

Limpshade · 15/12/2022 01:06

My in-laws are like this. Opened our Christmas present yesterday as a box arrived and they "didn't know what it was". It was clearly marked as having come from our (foreign) city and arrived a week before Christmas. You would think it would be obvious it was a Christmas present but apparently they were "suspicious" Hmm I warn my own Mum when I'm sending anything through the post as it would likely get thrown away without formal announcement of it's impending arrival Confused

Did they think it was a bomb or something????

caringcarer · 15/12/2022 01:49

I think older people are constantly being told about scams so no message might have caught them out.

Limpshade · 15/12/2022 01:51

@Bestcatmum Probably they are spending too much time reading about scams Grin They are generally nice people who are, however, chronic overthinkers. Most likely they spent an hour whipping themselves into a nice little tizz before spoiling the surprise. It's a real shame, though: they don't have many people around them so that would have been one of the few gifts they might have opened on Christmas Day.

Galliano · 15/12/2022 02:03

saraclara · 15/12/2022 01:14

More on the unordered items scam

www.which.co.uk/news/article/one-million-households-in-the-uk-potentially-hit-by-amazon-brushing-scams-aOlvL6a9vXC9

Seriously, I'm surprised in the only one so far who's mentioned this. It's been all over my media, and in daytime consumer TV programmes, which means that OP's parents might well have been abetted to unsolicited parcels being suspicious.

Just Google it.

Posh chocolates are not the sort of item sent in this scam so most people wouldn’t conclude this was what was going on

fallfallfall · 15/12/2022 02:12

I’m not that old and no I wouldn’t eat some random food from anywhere without a note as to who it’s from.

mathanxiety · 15/12/2022 02:31

@SaraClara - but why did they forget it was Christmas, and the fact that the BF had sent them gifts by post before, and why didn't they call the OP to check?

Jumping straight to "Scam!" means assuming they've been targeted using an item not at all connected to the sort of scam involving delivery of things they didn't order. If the background is the warnings about scams, they've misunderstood or missed a few elements of the coverage.

And again, why not call to check, at Christmas?

Seeingadistance · 15/12/2022 04:29

Am I the only person who would have eaten the chocolate first, and only then maybe possibly wondered about where it came from (and whether there would be more)?

Original poster
YourSpleenIsDamp · 15/12/2022 11:51

Bestcatmum · 15/12/2022 01:31

My parents are also very odd. Just about anything is a scam to them - they would probably think it was from a local drug lord trying to get them hooked on heroin.

Oh god, that sounds just like my parents! Maybe I shouldn't worry, my mum subscribes to Which? so I guess she'd seen the articles about brushing. Still odd, but then they're a pair of retired academics, so possibly to be expected 😆

OP posts:
NoelNoNoel · 15/12/2022 11:56

I think lots of older people get like this, they often have less going on in their life so more time to think about things and this could leave to becoming suspicious.
Or as others have said it could be very early dementia, suspicion and paranoia was one of my mum’s early signs.
Having said that I would think receiving a gift of any kind without knowing who it was from was very weird.
Maybe next time give them a heads up so they know something is on it’s way.

saraclara · 15/12/2022 11:58

Seriously, older people can't win. If they're the victims of a scam, they've been stupid. If they're on the alert for scams, they're over-reacting.

I'm older. And the amount of stuff I get sent by algorithms about "AVOID THIS SCAMMM!!!!" is enough to freak anyone out.
I'm financially competent and not generally over-anxious, but when you're surrounded by these warnings that "BAD PEOPLE ARE OUT TO GET YOUR MONEY BECAUSE YOU'RE OLD" it's hard not to get paranoid.

Better that your parents are over-cautious than under, to be honest. It's crap. I can see why old people used to just hide their money under the mattress.

Lovageandrose · 15/12/2022 12:26

They thought it was a scam to gave them to a food bank? What sort of scam did they think it was and how did giving it to a food bank end the scam?

RunDownRita · 15/12/2022 12:30

ProtectorExtraordinaryOfTheCantonsOfNim · 15/12/2022 00:35

This is the sort of incident where, if there have been other similar things, I'd share your concern. When MIL was in (what turned out to be) the early stages of dementia things that confused her did often seem to be interpreted in a slightly paranoid way.

But equally they might have just been reading a lot of stories about scams recently and so had scams on their mind when the chocolates arrived.

This was my first thought too, although it needn't actually be dementia but just cognitive decline which makes them less able to spot a scam and so inclined to suspect them everywhere.

Agree with PP that the company should rectify this by sending another box.