Two weeks to the big day and I really have never felt less festive.
Single Mum. Up to my eyeballs in Christmas sweater days, bring a tombola prize, non school uniform, panto, school play. Add to this a shouty 4 year old, a stressful year at work after picking up someone elses role, random stuff going wrong in the house and with the car, constant stress over price of heating, presents, food, car, cats, dogs, pta demands, Christmas 'fun'. All this combined with what seems to be an absolute chronic lack of energy and motivation is resulting in parenting hell.
I'm struggling to find the energy to put out Christmas tat that I'm going to be responsible for putting away. I feel totally pathetic at how I feel but I jyst frankly feel overwhelmed by the whole lot. Most of the time I feel like I struggle with sensory overload. I'm trying my absolute hardest to be patient with my daughter. While maintaining a festive spirit, making the most of the 'magical' time of year. But I'm struggling with the what feels like constant shouting and do it now attitude from my daughter.
I also know she is tired too, particularly after her first term at school. I'm nakered. We've had one holiday this year in Cornwall, which I'm so lucky to have had. But it honestly felt like a total slog and I was more exhausted by the end then I was at the beginning. It felt like a constant battle to deal with shouting, meltdowns and demands. I feel like a cr*p parent for struggling to cope.
How can I get out of this tunnel because it feels never-ending. I'm frankly worried about 2 weeks similar to the above week in Cornwall, when I came back totally frazzled and with a complete mind meltdown. My brain hurts all the time. I struggle to think or even get sentences out. Or concentrate, or read a line. I feel like my brain is completely fried and I don't feel confident about my ability to get through this season of festive cheer. What can I do to help myself and be a better mum?