Nine year old says "come over here and you are dead" to another child in the playground

[icyroads]

Would you think psychological problems or would this be normal in your child's school? It was said as part of an ongoing bullying situation involving daily name calling but this was the first threat of violence. Thanks

I would thibk the child who said it was unkind and potentially intending to upset/annoy the other child, but i think the phrase 'i' ll kill you' isn't usually perceived as a genuine threat ans wouldn't expect him to be on the 10 most wanted in the next decade

I'd assume they are saying a phrase that's familiar to them without overly thinking the meaning behind it

I am not sure it's particularly objective or rational to suggest a child saying that equates to a serious threat to life or to diagnose them with psychological problems. That isn't to say it isn't very inappropriate, bullying or unkind - which it is, and I hope your DC's school are dealing with it OP. Keep a log, one which remains factual - eg the words that were said without your opinion of what that means about the child or what they meant, the context and when and hand them to the head.

I'd think they were 9

So obviously this is part of a wider problem with this child and that needs to be tackled. As a one off comment I'd tell him it was horrible but wouldn't take the threat too seriously. Unfortunately a lot of families talk like that to one another and it's common online as a turn of phrase so I wouldn't immediately class it as a threat to life.

In this situation it is the child who heard it who feels threatened though. You are giving advice adult to adult. What would you say to the child, that there is no reason to be afraid or feel threatened?

This. I’ve heard a lot come out of children’s mouths that is obviously par for the course at home. Sadly, they just repeat it, usually not understanding the full implications if what they’re saying. I’ve had to tell a child ( primary age) that calling me a fucking whore was unacceptable and he mustn’t swear in the classroom— I could tell by his face this was a total revelation to him.

I'd say that it's just kids being extremely unpleasant, in the way that they often are, and that the best way for the child on the other end to handle it would be to avoid the unpleasant one wherever possible and think no more of it.

It's not like this isn't a situation that occurs throughout life - when we see somebody acting aggressively in the street, 90% of us will simply give them a wide berth and carry on with our day. Does that solve the problem? No, but it's usually the safest strategy.