Since my ds been home from school, he’s done his home work then been on PlayStation for 2 hours now on a tablet before bed

[Amiterrible]

Feel really bad
I could have played a game with him or something

I need to sort myself out

Oh he’s 9 btw
we all about to tidy up from tea then it will be bedtime soon

Am I an awful suit mum ?

No you are not. I doubt this is daily? It's nearly Christmas, everyone is tired. An evening of screens is fine. Off to bed for everyone & more energy for tomorrow! 🥰

Give yourself a break woman. He's probably enjoying himself playing on the tablet.
Listen, school is tiring. He's done his homework, eaten his food now he's playing a game. He's safe and he's loved let's make that enough for today.

Back in our day kids watched telly and Mum and Dad played feck all games with anyone!
Monopoly at Christmas was about the size of it!

Grown-ups sit down and watch 3 or 4 hrs of TV a night and no one says boo to them.
Binge watching Netflix is even cool and trendy.
But a poor kid on a tablet is suddenly now being seen as bad parenting? It bloody annoys me the judgement and guilt about it. It's just what kids do nowadays instead of the telly.

This exactly!

It happens even if it was week nights all of the time. School and homework are tiring.

“Back in our day kids watched telly and Mum and Dad played feck all games with anyone!“

thats actually very True
i can’t remember my dad playing with us much as kids and we all still loved him

If you are shit then I am too! The kids have at least an hour on their tablets once hwk is done. It really calms my ASD child after a full on day and is seen as a treat by my other child. Some of the tablet time is also doing maths activities on an app from school so I try not to feel too guilty. We are all exhausted at the mo and it's nice for us to all have chill out time in the evening. We'll do reading and games and family time over the school holidays, it's just too much right now.

I see no problem with this. School is tiring, busy and very social. I bet he's very happy to have had a playstation and iPad time.

In our house, we don't have many limits on play station or iPad. But they do need to have done other things first - homework, sport, family events, chores etc.

Well this isn’t a one off
it’s been happening more and more recently

agree about it being such a busy time leading upto Xmas

perhaps I should set myself a target of playing one game a a day with him even if it’s for 20/30 mins

I can keep dd (10) off a screen but I can't force her to play with us. Post puberty everything is babyish and hanging out with her parents is lame. Apparently.

I've no idea really what she does in her room without a screen but appears to be listening to music on Alexa, writing in her diary, reading, trying on make up, sleeping, playing with the cat. All of which is preferable to playing Monopoly with her parents (only a year ago she loved it).

I've just stopped comparing us to other families and their wholesome fun activities, its too depressing, especially as most 10 year olds haven't hit puberty and effectively become teens already. I feel we've been robbed.

I'm enjoying dd not getting up till 10.30am though. Won't lie.

And what Felicity said.

I think you could try and have him try non screen things that he can entertain himself with?

Lego is a good option which isnt a screen.
Books obvs
Puzzle, drawing?
I'd say almost anything other than tablet and screen if you can...

You don't have to entertain you child but you don't have to let them stay on electronics for that long. Parents didn't used to play with their kids but kids entertained themselves. It's good for kids to be bored. I'm sure he has plenty of toys and other bits and bobs. Screens are so incredibly addictive.
It's been a long term though, don't beat yourself up.

Did a bit better today played a few games with him
started off thinkkng I’ll just do half an hour which then lead into an hour

I do agree about the screen time

going to try n try harder after Xmas

Have you tried putting screen time on? The time does creep up on you, you don't realise how quickly. Christmas holidays are a good time to start as it's lots of free time for him to explore and figure out things he enjoys playing. After school they're tired and screens are effortless entertainment you don't have to think about. If he finds a few things he likes to do, in the holidays, he can just go to those after school once the screen time is off.
During the hols, after a couple of days of moaning he'll find alternative ways of entertainment, you don't have to play games with him everyday, as lovely as that is. It's better to put that in place now if that's what you want, as it'll be impossible once he hits secondary school.

Yeah I used use a timer then say that’s it no more screen time
but it’s all slipped

Sounds like my life to be honest. Don’t think there’s anything wrong it’s a bit of downtime with a tablet or game when the weather is so awful. He’s done homework.

I see myself as an engaged mum, lots of walks, reading, do crafts with them etc. This week has been so busy, last night both my children had way too much tablet time. But I’ve been at work, got to finish wrapping their teachers presents, got visitors this weekend and I can’t do everything so something has got to give!

If three hours (or whatever it is) of screentime is a one off, it doesn't matter. If it's a frequent thing, it's not great. But you don't have to play WITH him, unless you and he want to do that. Does he have books, lego, hobbies, opportunities to play outside, a bike? Sometimes you just have to switch the screens off and let them get bored; it's good for them to learn how to entertain themselves.

If the "I'm bored" whinging starts, suggest some chores or room-tidying to do; mine very quickly finds a book or drawing etc. to do if I suggest that a bored girl might like to go and reorganize her sock drawer or wipe her bedroom windows down!

I don’t understand the obsession with screens on here, like it’s a bad thing, and somehow something like Lego or a physical puzzle is better, it’s not , it’s just different, and screens if it’s gaming can teach many skills. Problem solving, hand eye coordination, collaboration etc. and I say that as a non gamer.

I think some folks struggle with technology and can’t grasp it. So they think it’d bad. If you’re son is sitting watching tv in winter after school he’s no different to how many kids were raised, and if he’s gaming on PlayStation then he’s learning different skills, doing puzzles, problem solving, and is actively mentally involved, and throwing him an action man, a paper puzzle or a Lego set isn’t inherently better,as it’s old fashioned and not digital

it’s sad so many people are scared of tech and think the old fashioned way is better, but don’t let their issues concern you. You’re doing just fine.

@Thefriendlyone No one here is scared of tech or telling the op to get rid of tech. Sitting for hours at a time on a screen is not good for anyone, plenty of research to back the fact that excess use of screens is bad. Playing a game on playstation isn't the same as Lego or colouring, and doesn't have the same benefits. Don't kid yourself.

We can't all be superwomen. While he's been on playstation/tablet, I expect you've been making tea, clearing up afterwards, sorting things in house or for work tomorrow, or having a well earned rest yourself. Good you've noticed though and are trying to do something about it, could even be just having a chat with him about his day and showing interest in homework. If it's a struggle in the week, don't forget the weekends if you're both around together - that's a brilliant time to spend together.

Sounds normal to me - what games does a 9 year old want to play with his mum? Surely too old for that now

The last week of term is not the time to analyze and criticize your own parenting. Just get through however you can. Tweak it after Christmas when your to-do list looks a bit more manageable and everyone's a bit calmer.

If you have the capacity to "tune in" a bit, maybe sit with him and watch him playing, or see what he's watching on YouTube. Builds a bit of a bridge without demanding anything from him, and he'd probably be delighted if you show an interest in things he's choosing.