Do you have any little rituals/things you do just for you, that you really enjoy?

[lucysmam]

I meant to ask this yesterday, but then got sidetracked by baking stollen, making pastry, and making cranberry sauce for Christmas 😋

My favourite ritual of the week is my weekend morning silent cuppa. I like to sit in my spot, in the kitchen, with the first cuppa of the day & just chill for an hour in silence. Sometimes I'll even make a second cup, or a cup of coffee. It's bliss, just being while everyone here's sleeping & the outside world is just starting to get going 😊

I like to watch the world go by through the windows (at least, what I can see of the world!). This weekend's highlight was the robin flitting from branch to branch in the huge trees at the bottom of my garden.

What about you?

I can understand that.
My mother wears her self sacrifice like a badge of honour.
Like scrubbing pots with wire pads and no gloves.
If I suggest gloves she will make some comment like " Miss high and mighty too grand to scrub a pot without rubber gloves- how do you think women managed years ago."
Well they had to. And they probably had sore chapped hands.
Women like my mother prop up the patriarchy. Misogynistic hand maidens.

My mum's the same 🙄

She'll ask what I've been up to and if I've been watching telly I can expect a comment like "How have you got time for that?" If I've treated myself to something nice it will be "you should save up for a holiday instead" if I want to buy something it will be "such a waste of money"....

I tell her less now.

Brightstarowl you have my sympathies.
Attitudes of parents like that can leave a lifelong mark in terms of poor self esteem, low self worth, fuzzy boundaries, poor choice in partners, low aspiration.
It has taken me decades to break through the early conditioning.
And like you I tell my mother very little about my life.
If I do - even something banal like a shoppping trip, meeting a friend, having my hair cut then it is met with a barrage of comments about how overly self indulgent I am.
Ultimately it has led to me seeking out ways to treat myself with kindness and compassion, perhaps to repair the damage.

I love being the first up in my house! Get kettle on, feed pets then sit for an hour with cat on my lap ( the cat is essential for me!) with a coffee and my kindle. Wordle first, then quite often a bit of MN scrolling/reading my book/ sudoku. Then a quick shower and on with my day. In the summer the cat and I like to do this on the garden bench and watch the wildlife waking up, if it's warm enough.
I also get a brisk walk in each day, or a swim sometimes.
Solidarity with those with martyr mothers. Mine's a bit like that too!

Mine is the cup of tea I drink leaning against the radiator and mindlessly watching whatever cartoon DS has put on in the lull between staggering in from a day of work, school, teatime club, commute, and commencing the routine of homework, bags, cooking, bath, bedtime, housework. I always feel like a total winner when I have battled London transport and made it to pickup in time to not be the last parent there.

I sit and have a coffee in bed most mornings before I will get up and start the day. I also go running 3 times a week and workout 5 times a week which keeps me sane.

I'm inspired. I used to love getting up early and having that first cup of tea, but my DH now gets up earlier for a new job. I like to sit every evening and do my work list for the next day instead now, but it isn't the same.

I have a Friday evening routine, which consists of putting on my 'cool' 80s playlist (David Bowie, Gary Numan, Talking Heads etc rather than Stock, Aitken & Waterman), sticking my earbuds in and cleaning the house. I am incredibly slovenly the rest of the week and Friday evening is when I blitz the shit out of it, while singing badly but with great enjoyment. By the time DP arrives at about 7:30 (we don't live together), the place is sparkling and I have earned the large amount of wine I then proceed to drink.

Carve out new rituals.
These are times we have to claim.
In the warmer months I often down tools and just leave the house, I have woods next to my house and I lose myself for an hour, watching deer and wildlife.
Find a class or a group of people that will lift your spirits.
My mother lives with me, and very often will start a diatribe about her friends, pulling them apart piece by piece- calling the ugly, fat, stupid, dirty etc. she can keep this up for an hour or more.
I reach for my ear pods and plug into some you tube calm, some affirmations, music, deep dive into an intetesting topic.
I can see her lips move, but I can't hear her barbed words.
She doesn't even notice I have switched off! lol

In the morning my alarm goes off and then I have ten minutes cuddling the cat before I get out of bed, he has his breakfast whilst I make coffee then I have ten minutes of peace sitting on the sofa drinking it whilst looking out to the garden. In the summer I'll sit in the conservatory or the garden but currently too chilly!

In the evening I make a cup of chamomile tea, pop a hot water bottle into my bed and switch on a Himalayan salt lamp before going for a shower, then rose hip oil on my skin, light a candle and snuggle up in bed to drink the tea, read & cuddle the cat. I also do a short meditation/mindfulness exercise when I get in bed.

Im homeschooling my three daughters ( didnt mean to but they were flying in lockdown and their school was rubbish) so I dont often get a moment to myself. But I aim to get my 10,000 steps in daily. I do this by walking down gorgous country lanes to the lake, not a soul in sight, its even more stunning now with the powder of snow dusted everywhere. I listen to an audiobook, currently listening to Agatha Christie's Tales of Winter- absolute bliss.

I love the sound of your evening ritual Itoastthereforeiam, I wish I could expand my evening self care, but by 8pm I am very tired and a herbal tea is the most I can muster. Comes with being a morning person I guess- but these wind down activities sound so calming and relaxing.
Reverie83 the Agatha christie audiobook would be just up my street.
I read lots of Agatha Christie in my early 20s and really enjoyed them, books with a wintry feel sound perfect.
Do you have a link?

Daily lunchtime swim, meetings allowing. Gives me a lift, especially if I swim in the outdoor pool.

I've just read all your posts on bus rides to, and from, college interviews for dd1 and her best friend. Thank you all for sharing 😊

I quite like the idea of an evening ritual, to finish off the day. Usually by the time I sit down I've given up on doing much else - I'll have to give it some thought.

I try and find a quiet moment in the morning to take a coffee out into the garden and sit, or even just stand for a few minutes in winter/wet weather. Drink coffee, look at sky, birds, flowers. When I tidy/clean/cook I often listen to an audiobook or music, it doesn't feel like wasted time doing jobs. At bedtime I do a yoga nidra meditation in bed with the light off, it often sends me to sleep part way through. If I'm stressed, ill or knackered during the day I also do a yoga nidra, it really calms and resets me

Love yoga Nidra. Perfect way to de-stress ☺️