Confessions … What’s your darkest secret?

[Cinderellla]

I will start.

Last year me and DH got into a rough patch. He was under lots of stress and was taking it out on me and being emotionally abusive toward me. I ended up having an emotional affair with another man I met online, I was in a vulnerable place and this guy turned out to be a kind of scary and mentally unstable after love bombing me. Stupidly I gave him my address (he wanted to send me a gift for my birthday, during the love bombing stage) 🤦‍♀️… Anyway I blocked him and just wanted things to get back to normal. Things are much better with DH and we are in a good place now … I hope the other guy has forgotten about me but sometimes I worry this guy is just going to turn up at the door and do something crazy.

… So what’s your darkest secret? Feel free to name change for this…

Holy smokes all the best op, not sure with mine

Do you usually reply so quickly @Hawkins003 ?

It's a mix, sometimes I'm not sure I'm able to give a full contextual answer depending on the ops op. Then depending after reading others perspectives it helps formulate my perspective better.

I am into mud wrestling

It's something that people wouldn't expect from someone like me,

@Hawkins003 I was only joking because the OP posted in December

So what’s your darkest secret? Feel free to name change for this..

No chance!

Fair point, it came up in the similar threads and figured its not quite a zombie.

My deepest, darkest secret is too deep and dark to even disclose on an anonymous forum!

I had an affair whilst married, towards the end.

it showed me the light and that I could escape my emotionally abusive husband.

Ex H got into a relationship so quickly when we split that I let people think it was him who had the affair, Iv never said so outright, but people assume and with my dc in earshot I simply say ‘I can’t discuss’
he asked me if I was doing this and I said no! I would never…. But I am ! And he deserves it.

im now happy in a relationship with someone else, but have absolutely no sexual attraction to him whatsoever. I just want to be looked after and have a secure future so I fake it to make him happy, and he does whatever he can to make me happy.

What happens when you fall for someone when married? Actually when you both are? Especially when you see them daily?

Well, here's one take. You deny a bit, you flagellate yourself, you dislike yourself...for wanting what you can never have...for knowing you could never be happy if you ever followed impulse due to comfortable love, loyalty, guilt, regret and a life built on trust and integrity.
You wonder if things would have been different if you'd met earlier. You wonder why you're wasting time on pointless wondering

You notice when he's in the room and berate yourself for noticing. You consider speaking to him and feel disappointed when he leaves. You try and see if he ever notices you. You glance his way a lot. When he catches your eye, and god forbid, holds a look or even smiles.. you feel delighted, excited, appalled, scared and at sea. Guilty. Disloyal. You don't know what the fuck you are doing.

He's married. You're married. It's done. It's never, ever a start of anything. But it's horrendous as it feels like it is.

I fucking hate it. I wish id never seen him.

The DM are going to love this thread.

Some of the things I have seen in my line of work. Vast sums of money, beyond your imagination, transferred between bank accounts on one island to a bank account thousands of miles away on another island. A person's inventory of assets, held in nominee names, stretching to hundreds of millions of UK real estate. Payments for international consultancy services, for a cool $750k per month, just a transfer request, no receipts.

If you had any idea what was really going on you would be shocked to the core.

I use a toilet brush to clean my toilet 😬 I use it in conjunction with some fizzy citrus powder and that really gets me going 🤭