What percentage of monthly wage is high for disposable income?

[anonymous35645]

Trying to figure out if I'm in a very lucky situation here or if this is common. I'm not asking salary numbers or anything but as a percentage of income that is fully disposable, is this too high?

My monthly take home is a bit over £3100 and my outgoings for mortgage, bills, my direct debits (eg gym phone subscriptions pet insurance etc) and my food shop is around £600. So I've got around £2500 or 80% ish of my take home pay per month as disposable income.

For full disclosure I pay a small amount towards our mortgage. My partner covers all bills and has more leftover than I do, but should I be contributing more, or should we start overpaying our mortgage? I mostly save my leftover money for holidays, eating out and bits around the house or hobbies, or I spend it on friends and family. I'm wondering if I should get a buy to let, invest it or just overpay our mortgage?

And I know I might get a few sassy responses here, I appreciate compared to some I am in a fortunate situation, but I know lots of people who always have the flashiest house, car, labelled everything and this isn't me nor is it who I desire to be - just trying to make a sensible decision and not fritter my money away.

I'm fairly sure it was a fully even split on the mortgage but I will log into our account and find the info.

@anonymous35645 I am in a similar position - doing courses and hope to double my salary in the next 5 years but it will still be nowhere near DP’s. DP doesn’t want to get married (although we have one DC) so I prefer to keep my money in my name for my protection. I have my pension, premium bonds, shares, and my FTB property which is currently let.

Is it not a bit cheeky to marry him for financial stability though? I think he would happily get married, it's more me who doesn't like the idea of being centre of attention!

People don't have relationship worries, until they do. We all go into our relationships with the best of intentions and the biggest of hopes. You never know what is going to happen round the corner, I remember reading about a woman who lost her partner suddenly due to an accident, no time to plan or prepare. They weren't married, she was a SAHM mum, there were no wills. She wasn't entitled to his assets, she wasn't entitled to widows allowance or bereavement payments from the govt.

Even if you don't get married it's sensible to look into what legal protections you can put in place to formalise your relationship for both of your benefits. Your DH would probably find it difficult if you were to die suddenly and your half of his home passed to your parents due to next of kin/probate rules.

That's sensible and probably something I should be doing!

If I were you, I’d work less. Drop a day or two. Enjoy that money/ invest it, rest, stay fit, see family. Don’t lose your sense of self but equally why work so much if you don’t need it.

Thank you for this. Hadn't thought about your second paragraph so I'll definitely check this. Regarding your first one, his work has a scheme where if anything were to happen to him during his employment they essentially pay off the mortgage in full for the spouse. My name is on that document and I've seen it. Obviously hope it will never need to be used though.

Oh and we got married in Vegas, invited no one, we booked it online before we went and then did it. Much like you we started dating when I was 16, married when when I was 22, together 22 years now and married 16 years (some good symmetry on the dates/ages this year)

This is ridiculous. You’ve been together for so long and have no worries. Why would asking a question alarm him? Sounds bonkers! Also, pretty bonkers not to know if you are on the deeds of the house, what split it is etc. I think you’d be better off getting a financial advisor, as no offence, you sound a little clueless when it comes to finances!!

This won’t be on your mortgage account- it will be on the deeds/documents when you first bought. Just so you look in the right place.

And getting married is purely a financial contract, everyone should see it that way. It’s not about the big day, you could do it at the register office with 2 strangers as witnesses.

If you’re not going to get married then you need to be very proactive with sorting out watertight legalities in case of death or other unforeseen event. And be much more aggressive at saving for yourself rather than seeing household income as pooled.

I love my new career at the moment but this has crossed my mind, maybe volunteer or do something to help people. My current job is full time and is for an organisation looking to do good in the world, but it's something to consider for the future.

This would piss off our family so much though 😆

Some people like to work, some people like resting, hobbies etc. personally I’d want to work as I have a great job and I love it.

Children are the elephant in the room. I feel you are drifting. As time goes on, you are losing out fertility-wise and he is not. You need to make a decision on children with your partner and once that is decided, your future is more set and the decision on what to do with your extra cash now clearer.

I agree about not being complacent about splitting. Some men's heads get turned when they are middle-aged particularly if they are high earning. If there isn't a family to anchor them, it would be too easy to split up with their long term partner to go with the newer shiny thing in their office, particularly since you were childhood sweethearts and he has not got it out of his system by doing the rounds.

Sorry, stereotype but just be wary.

It’s you who would be getting married. Not your family. If they’re a loving supportive family they’d be happy for you to do what you want. If you don’t want to elope, then that’s fine, but you shouldn’t feel obligated because of family.

If your families want to throw a big party for any reason they can and should. They have absolutely bog all to do with your decisions about your life. Don't tell them. You could literally never tell them that you're married, no one needs to know it's between you and your partner.

I'd like to say he's not the type to flounce off with someone else but they never are until they do it! I think I do need to think about this more seriously. And yes, I have let him take the lead on the finances, he had a first time buying scheme on his own, I moved in with him and paid a tiny contribution, then when we bought together he took care of the finance setup etc

He's very good with money, I'm not as sensible. But I'm usually incredibly independent and far from naive but on this side of things I definitely am a bit far removed from it all

Are you paying into your pension?
This can possibly bring you down a tax band and is deducted before paying tax - so in effect to put say 100 into pension, you would effectively only pay maybe 60.
Exact numbers will depend on your salary and tax band.

I'll bring up the marriage chat and see how he feels. I want to make sure it's something he wants. He's always said we have been together so long he doesn't get what would really change. But this thread has helped clarify that so thank you.

Yes I do, I'm not sure what the rate is as the job is fairly new and I didn't pay too much attention, another one to check!

We both don't enjoy being the centre of attention. It's the main reason we aren't married. But perhaps we could do a small ceremony abroad.

Is it a bit shit to not change your name? It's a bit weird but I don't like the idea of losing that part of my identity?

Of course your don't need to change your name. Loads of us don't.

You also don't need to tell anyone you're married unless you want to if not having a big wedding would be a big thing.

Just think of it as a contract not a ceremony. It's quite normal now to not change names. I have friends who did, friends who didn't, friend who double barrelled and friends who have picked a whole new name that's a combo (think smith and Jones becoming Smones) and both changed to it.

If you don't change your name and go on to have kids then you can decide to double barrel the kids or use your maiden name as a middle name and their dads name as surname or vice versa.

I've personally never understood why anyone would want to spend thousands on a day, wear an uncomfortable dress, be stared at....it's my idea of hell but I also know that my feelings aren't the same as other peoples.

Do you.

This is crazy. You have to have children if your partner earns a lot to stop then cheating?!

With respect, it seems like you’re a bit all over the place at the moment. You don’t know if you’re equal in the mortgage or deeds, you don’t know how much pension you’re paying or what the company is paying - you don’t seem too savvy financially. Then you’re thinking about having a wedding, changing or not changing your name (which is a bit ahead of things if you haven’t even proposed!). I’d get a grip of your finances, decide how much you want to save/invest/spend etc. then the whole marriage thing is a completely separate topic!