WWYD- Covid related

[NoEffingWay]

Myself and DP have just tested positive for Covid having avoided it for the past not-quite three years. DS is with my ex-h but was due to come home tomorrow.

I called dx-h and asked him if he could keep DS for a few extra days until Weds so I can avoid passing it in to DS and most likely all of his school friends (he is in primary).

Ex-h was initially okay with this, and then rang me back to say I needed to pick DS up from school on Tuesday as he had a gig to go to, and I was being selfish.

Any thoughts?

I would not have tested in 1st place.
Go with what school expects: you collect your child Tuesday & send child to school as long as child feels well enough to attend.
I don't believe you are expected to think harder about this.

We have to test for work (both NHS staff), hence the constant need for tests

I'd pick him up on Tuesday. Don't send him to school if you're worried.

Apologies if this is drip feeding. DS would not miss school, it was more a protective thing that I'm not sure everyone wants to go into the school holidays with covid and by DS staying at his Dads house, he is distinctly less likely to catch it and pass it on to everyone right before Christmas

Someone told me that routine pre-emptive C-19 testing of local NHS staff stopped months ago. Maybe it varies by trust.

I did say to ex-h I would possibly not take DS to school if I feel anywhere near as ill as I do now.

@lljkk I work with clinically vulnerable patients for whom covid could easily kill them so work are a bit more cautious-we are still encouraged to test-especially if we feel ill which I did this morning

I'm amazed they're asking you to test

I thought at this point all school-age/attending kids in the country had had it, you're not protecting the others from anything if you keep your son off.

Sorry you’re not well OP. Your ex is being extremely selfish but it doesn’t look like you can do anything about it.

I agree that knowingly exposing your child to a massive dose of covid virus then sending him to school the week before xmas holidays is a pretty horrible way to hand a bunch of kids covid right before they see their grandparents 🤦‍♀️

If ex-h won’t have DS for longer because his gig is sooooo important then I’d give DS the week off school.

However would a better option be to oay ex-H to get a babysitter for the night of the gig? Unless he’s travelling far and staying elsewhere, a babysitter could work?

Op works with CEV patients. It makes total sense that she is testing. It's a responsible thing to do considering her job.

Whilst I appreciate your position, I don't see how your ex is being any more "selfish" than you. He has plans. It isn't really reasonable to think that he must re-arrange his plans (and presumably those of other people he would be going out with) because of your circumstances. If you have tested positive in the last day or two, then your son may already have it. This is just life as it is lived at the moment. Keep him off school if it makes you feel better about it, but for all you know he could be symptom free and gave it you!

Well. I was kind of like its a decision between the two of you but then I read he called you selfish and saw red.

Lots won't have had it.
Not everyone in the country has had it, children are no different.

That's selfish of your ex, but I presume that's why he is an ex.

If your son catches it he'll likely be just fine because of his age. He may have asymptomatically passed it to you anyway.

If your son passes it to your ex - then never mind. You tried to do the sensible thing.

I think OP’s concern is that she will pass it to her son, who will next week pass it to his classmates, who will all then break up for xmas hols and travel around the country to see elderly vulnerable relatives. OP is right to be sad that this situation could be easily avoided by ex-h keeping the DS another couple of days.

But apparently ex-h’s gig is more important 🙄

Oh I agree it's poor timing, but these things never come at a good time. I just wasn't expecting to be shouted at when my head is already banging!
I am a bit mixed about this, the logical 'Business as Usual' approach we are encouraged to take doesn't take into account the practicalities of not wanting to make DS (and his friends, their families and CEV people) ill the week before Christmas.
I also had plans with DS which are binned, and am trying to not get upset that I won't get to treat him.

The NHS advice is to stay at home for 5 days, not sure how that works hanging around a school playground every afternoon at pick up, as well as a nativity play/disco.

He is an ex for a reason, and most definitely does not view DS as a priority-he didn't care in the slightest that by being in a very covid-y house DS will most likely get ill.