In laws don’t like me?!

[Mummmmysz]

Any tips on how to let this sh*t go? I don’t really like if someone doesn’t like me or is off with me I think what have I done to make this be the case - again very stupid I need to stop but I have a people pleasing streak within

So is this just part of life basically having people who’ll be in your life (forever) that just dislike you?

Its my fiancés brother and wife I think dislike me - I’ve said in laws in titles because as of next february they will be

Nobody likes everybody - just make sure they are not in your life. Focus on positive things.

Don't do what I did and try really hard to get them to like you. It's their problem and something that your partner should deal with not you.

@tothelefttotheleft this is what I’ve tried to do tbh :/

he thinks they do and that I’m just ‘overthinking things’

but you know yourself when someone is completely off with you!

My partners parents don’t like me. In fact for the first 3 years of our relationship they didn’t want anything to do with me and weren’t interested in even learning my name.
then we found out we were pregnant and they finally decided they wanted to meet. I went to meet them, I was pleasant, engaging tried hard etc. thought it was a good start and I’d work on the relationship more once baby was here.
Now they won’t talk to my DP on the phone if they know I’m in the house (they will literally ask if I’m there), they don’t call me by my name, just variants of it, ask DP questions about my parents and then get annoyed when he says positive things.

I understand it’s sad when you haven’t done anything ‘wrong’. My personal opinion is just keep acting okay with them, doing my best etc and it’s their attitude that’s wrong, unfair etc and yet I keep mine fine polite etc. it’s my conscious I have to live with and they can live with theirs. But also I remind myself daily that I make their son happy and I do my best by him and that’s the important bit.

Dont go looking for affirmation in a place you aren’t going to find it. I came to terms with the fact my in-laws didn’t like me when I realised I didn’t really like them either.

Their approval would only mean I am behaving like a person I am not, and fortunately I’ve got the confidence to know that staying true to who I am is ok.

Of course, I wish it was different, but it’s not, so I’m not about to tie myself in knots over something so futile.

I just treat them like difficult work colleagues - I keep it “professional” but really, they are of no consequence in my day to day life.

This^^

I've had to say never again to seeing dh's sister and her husband as they just have never warmed to me. I've been with DH since we were 21 & 22 and been married for 12 years, and things never improved.

Also, looking back now, I think what I really wanted was for DH to make a big fuss of me and make sure they knew they wouldn't be able to freeze me out, but with the dynamic his family has, and with dh's personality this was never going to end well for anyone. So I now just opt out. He sees them when he wants to (not terribly often) and that's that.

My DH grandmother (mum is out of the picture) cannot stand me. And I can't stand her either. So I just let my DH see/deal with her and if I do come across her I just ignore her. And she does me.