Staring man in the house opposite me

[Cherryblossom200]

Hi everyone,

I've recently had an extension built on the back of my house and It's got huge bi-fold doors. Currently I've got no blinds on it as it's still being decorated.

The previous owners planted conifers which had grown out of control and were ugly. So I cut them down once I built my extension to give us more garden and light.

The downside is we're now overlooked by a house. Most of the time it's fine, but there is a flat on the top floor where a man who is approximately 60 lives. At first I didn't really pay much attention to him. Most of the time during the day I'm not home, but in the evening I come home with my young daughter and we're normally looking at what the builders have done that day.

With the lights on we're like a massive beacon and you can see everything we're doing. The problem is I've started noticing the man just standing at his window staring. I noticed a few days ago and once he caught me looking back he hid behind the curtain. Today we came home and he was again just blatantly staring at us through the window, for some reason he never seems to use his blinds. I waved back  mainly to show I knew he was looking and he backed away.

I know he has a right to look out of his window, but he is just staring which is freaking me out! It's just me and my little girl which I'm sure he will work out.

In a week or two I'll have my blinds up but I'm not sure if I should do something? I find his behaviour strange! I have no interest in this man, normally I'm just looking at my house and new kitchen!

Thanks x

I took away all my privacy and made my house into a 'massive beacon' and now I'm upset that people can see me! How can I stop this man from looking at his view?

Poor guy - he was previously able to stand at his window, look out at his view and the trees.

Now in the evening he keeps noticing a huge glare coming from the outside - you said yourself "With the lights on we're like a massive beacon"

He's probably either absentmindedly watching the progress on your extension, hoping you get some nice thick blinds and curtains so that there's less light pollution of an evening, or wondering how to approach you to put some foliage back to improve his view again.

I would consider this extremely rude.
Everybody has the right to look out of their window for as long as they want, this guy included. To mock him for exercising his right is just an asshole thing to do.
OP made her house the way it is, not the neighbour.

Agree with some of the other posts. I like to stand and look out of my windows. If someone behind us cut down all the screening trees I'm sure they'd catch me looking into their big glass doors!

I trained my neighbor to stop doing exactly this by playing Eminem loudly whenever he did it. Stopped music when he left. Negative reinforcement.

(Neighbor was/is a MASSIVE arse, universally hated by everyone who comes into contact with him)

I would buy a newspaper and blu-tack it to the window until the blinds come.

Same, I stare out of my front window quite a bit

He's most likely looking at something else since he keeps doing it even thought you've indicated you can see him. Have you checked what's likely to be in his line of sight other than your house? Maybe birds, sunset, stars, moon etc.? Or even he could be looking out for a family member coming home?

I realised recently my neighbours think I stare at them as my kitchen window is opposite their lounge window. It's because I wash up each night while watching videos on my phone propped up on the windowsill, but it was only when I saw them pointing me out to their visitors that I realised I must look like I spend 30mins each night staring at them through the kitchen window!

You're looking into his windows as much as he's looking into yours.

In all seriousness, please be careful. People can get obsessive over others very easily. Im not saying he'd ever do harm, but i wouldnt engage in waving.
Is there a big burly builder around.
Id be tempted to get him to stand at the doors with his arm round my shoulders and point at staring man. It might frighten him enough to stop.

Of course hes entitled to stare out of his windows at anything, but the behaviour of hiding when acknowledged is odd.

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

this.

Maybe he's not staring, maybe he just enjoys looking out his windows. Maybe your perceiving it as him staring at you. He probably can see you but that doesn't mean he's watching you. There's nothing can do, nor should do, just get your blinds up

You only hearing one side of this story though.

I would get some fast growing shrubbery/ taller trees. Just wait until summer time when you are using the yard.

We have a lower back garden than the neighbours behind us, so we did some well-placed small trees, lilacs, that are just tall enough to block their view of us, but still allow sunshine into the yard.

Oh i do realise that. I just didn't want to make up scenarios as to why hes hiding.
he could for instance have a mental disorder and think ops playing peek a boo, but thats just crazy speculation. In return he might think op is staring at him and is hiding as he is worried.
So im just commenting on the side ive read x

He's probably used to standing there watching all of the lovely birds that used to have their nests in the trees. I don't know why you would rather look out at someones house than trees. You're now getting exactly what you deserve.

To be honest who wouldn't look?

You've chopped down the trees, added massive glass doors and haven't covered them. You're like a glowing TV screen.

I'm always peeping out of my windows when it seems neighbours are doing something odd. It's human nature.

Unless he's being inappropriate or something it's unlikely he's nefarious. Just get curtains before you wander around in your pants!

I often get lost staring out the window, watching weather, birds, a squirrel or just day dreaming.
Maybe he has always stared out his window and now u have removed the trees u are just noticing it.

What's his side of the story? I used to enjoy looking out the window at all the wildlife, then my neighbour cut down the trees and build an extension with big windows. Now I can't look out my window without her waving at me. People these days don't care for trees or privacy.

Perhaps you now know why the previous owners decided to plant those conifers?!

I live alone and I like to wander around my house at night in the dark and look out of the windows when I do (I find brushing my teeth really boring!)

I'm afraid you have very much cause this issue, he's probably looking at your extension thinking why the fuck have you chopped down the trees protecting each others privacy and why have you got the floodlights on? Creating lots of light pollution and disturbing the local wildlife and your neighbours.

Not not really surprised he's watching to see if your going to put the cherry on the top and put Astro turf down.

Funny, that’s what they all said about you too.

My husband always said the old guy opposite us was always trying to get a peek. I didn't believe him (I'm totally oblivious to most things and often don't wear my glasses so don't realise everyone else can see more than me).

A few months ago, I was having a shower and it was during the heatwave so if opened the bathroom window a couple of inches. The only thing that could be seen out of that window was a tiny bit of a corner of the bottom of his garden.

I was showering away when I looked round and he was standing, staring at me (could only see the top half). I froze. Instinctively didn't want to show him he had unnerved me and felt trapped. Turned around and stood there for a few mind. Turned back round, he was still there. I looked at him, he looked at me. Bloody perv. I opened the shower door, reached for the towel and covered myself and went to shut the window.

He slowly turned around and walked back up his garden.

I believe you op. I think some men take delight in freaking us out when they can. It's a minority but they are there.

I think women underplayed these things that happen because they are thought of by some as thinking too much of themselves or making it up.

The idea of someone being accused unjustly is an awful thing, but if he's staring at you, a woman living alone with a young daughter, then it's up to him to change that, and not your fault for buildng an extension.

This!