Ever learned something from 'harsh but fair' responses on MN?

[Echobelly]

I definitely had a bit of a lightbulb moment with one thread I posted a few years back.

DD (12 at the time) was saying they were depressed and I was wondering whether they really were, or just a bit sad as I cried a lot and was very sensitive at that age but I don't believe I was ever depressed because I still maintained an optimism that the next day might be better, unlike the endlessness of negative feeling that friends/family members living with depression have described. So I asked MN and of course there was the share of people accusing me of being an unfeeling witch who didn't believe my child (I was just saying I wasn't sure and my intention was to get her help regardless, and I did and it helped) and some also fairly harsh, but totally fair, I thought, points about not projecting my past self on to my child. I've kept that one with me since, and suggested it might be an issue to other people when I've realised they were doing what I was doing and assuming their child was like them.

I’ve had my arse handed to me a number of times; sometimes fairly and sometimes unfairly. The capacity for self reflection, the ability to receive criticism and learn from it is a great skill to have. It keeps us humble and makes us try to do better in future.

Nobody has all the answers, we all make mistakes and learn from experience.

It is both funny and annoying when sometimes one has to preface a question or comment with 'And before anyone goes there I am not saying [some incredibly overly negative interpretation of what you're posting about]' and then of course half a dozen people reply 'I can't believe you're saying [some incredibly overly negative interpretation of what you're posting about]' 😂🙄

Yes personally a few times and I’m always having my mind opened on threads. There are SO many intolerant and closed minded people here though who just refuse to acknowledge any other opinion though, so it does make debate often quite nasty and sometimes futile.

You do have to trawl through the responses a bit sometimes and try not to take stuff too personally. It's worth it because if you came for advice there'll probably be someone with some thoughts worth taking on board if you get enough replies (and it doesn't go off on a tangent)

Yes, I was pontificating about waiting around to leave my XP and somebody said I was being too lazy or something. I can't remember what they said exactly but it was a bit of a lightbulb moment!

There definitely seem to be some posts that have fortunately been a wake up call to people who really need to leave their partner and it's great to hear when people act on it.

On the flipside there are some posts when I feel people are a bit too eager to demand someone LTB, or that there's obviously an OW, without really knowing enough context from the post to justify.

Yeah I have been taught the importance of getting married 😆

I've been ripped to shreds at least twice. 1 of them I thought was unfair.

Yes @Echobelly I agree with that. Sometimes I think if the other person in the relationship wrote their own post it would give a completely fresh perspective of it. Everyone is the hero in their own story and usually there’s much more going on than people are able to describe.

I don't think I'd ever post a thread on here... because I've read threads and sometimes the responses are 😱

I understand what they mean, but always good to read others responses and occasionally it has opened my eyes to how others may perceive my own perspective.

If was feeling low or in need of some sympathy I would not post on here!