Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

Original poster

£670pcm direct debit for a two-bed flat!

25 replies

BabCNesbitt · 07/12/2022 20:19

My parents have just had their new proposed direct debit and my head is still exploding a bit. The energy company has advised they should pay £670 a month. They have a two-bed ground floor flat, so that would normally be obscene. But my mum is 84 and for decades has insisted that the heating be at a minimum of 25° (anything else is stingy, apparently). She never goes out, so it’s at that temperature all day long, including a lot in the summer.

She also uses the oven every night for her ready meals as they “taste better” than in the microwave. She refuses to turn the heating down; she doesn’t have blankets or anything like that to wrap around her and I suspect she’d just refuse to consider that (she’s extraordinarily bloody-minded). Their upstairs neighbour’s bill is apparently quite low 🙄

Is there anything that they can do other than my mum changing her habits (which is unlikely to happen)? Dad is so intimidated by her after years of her crap that he daren’t even turn it down a couple of degrees. WWYD?

OP posts:
Redterror · 07/12/2022 20:23

Can they afford it? I mean her habits sound ingrained so what have they been paying? Does the proposed direct debit actually bare any relation to what they are using or is it estimated?

GOODCAT · 07/12/2022 20:23

It is either change habits, add any power saving measures that are possible or move to somewhere more heat efficient. Can they afford the monthly payments?

AnyFucker · 07/12/2022 20:25

Unless they are sliding into debt and at risk of getting thrown out into the street, I am not sure it is your problem, tbh

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about this subject:

Cost of living
BMW6 · 07/12/2022 20:26

Not sure if there is anything you can do as she refuses to economise. Can they afford it? If not how is Mum proposing to deal with the massive bills?

Are they on a smart meter? Am thinking if they get into debt the supplier will switch them to Pay as you go.

Original poster
BabCNesbitt · 07/12/2022 20:28

GOODCAT · 07/12/2022 20:23

It is either change habits, add any power saving measures that are possible or move to somewhere more heat efficient. Can they afford the monthly payments?

I don’t really know; they’re very hush-hush about money usually, so the fact that my dad raised it with us (to ask us to do something about it) suggests that it could be an issue. Their block is only about 25 years old; I don’t think it’s an issue with the building, as everyone else finds their place suffocating. Mum’s just used to having it insanely warm.

OP posts:
BMW6 · 07/12/2022 20:28

Yes I bet the upstairs neighbour is thrilled now, not so much in summer when they're being roasted in their own flat against their will......

BMW6 · 07/12/2022 20:29

But what does your Dad expect you to do about it?

DCwow · 07/12/2022 20:31

There’s something about turning the flow temperature down on the boiler to about 60 and apparently this can save a fortune?

Original poster
BabCNesbitt · 07/12/2022 20:31

BMW6 · 07/12/2022 20:26

Not sure if there is anything you can do as she refuses to economise. Can they afford it? If not how is Mum proposing to deal with the massive bills?

Are they on a smart meter? Am thinking if they get into debt the supplier will switch them to Pay as you go.

She’s not making any proposals at all; she’s just blaming it all on my dad, as usual (she’s kind of a narcissist and everything is always someone else’s fault, everyone is always mean and unfair to her).

OP posts:
Original poster
BabCNesbitt · 07/12/2022 20:32

BMW6 · 07/12/2022 20:29

But what does your Dad expect you to do about it?

That’s what I asked him! I said the only thing they could do was reduce energy use. I think he thought we might know some secret phone number for sorting out things like that because we use the internet…

OP posts:
JamMakingWannaBe · 07/12/2022 20:32

Meh. Their circus: their monkeys.

I would nod and agree that the price of energy has gone up and let them make their own choices about reducing their energy consumption (by a LOT!).

BobbyBobbyBobby · 07/12/2022 20:33

It’s their home and you go your dad to put his foot down if the heating is too much.

Original poster
BabCNesbitt · 07/12/2022 20:33

DCwow · 07/12/2022 20:31

There’s something about turning the flow temperature down on the boiler to about 60 and apparently this can save a fortune?

Yeah, I had a look at their boiler and it was at about 60°.

OP posts:
LeavesOnTrees · 07/12/2022 20:35

Lucky neighbours.

BobbyBobbyBobby · 07/12/2022 20:35

If you really want to interfere and yes it is interfering then print out a realistic looking letter from the government saying that as part of the energy saving measures, they are introducing compulsory heat rationing and no one must heat their home above X temperature until further notice.

Whatwouldyado · 07/12/2022 20:41

BobbyBobbyBobby · 07/12/2022 20:35

If you really want to interfere and yes it is interfering then print out a realistic looking letter from the government saying that as part of the energy saving measures, they are introducing compulsory heat rationing and no one must heat their home above X temperature until further notice.

Yes this! P

Rookriver · 07/12/2022 20:46

Some kind of smart system that she doesn't know about? So the old thermostat looks like it's at 25 but the smart system has it at 21 or something.

BertieBotts · 07/12/2022 20:49

25 degrees is warm but not crazily so in a modern, small flat and using the oven for 25 mins or so daily shouldn't be causing £670 per month?? I know prices have gone up but that doesn't seem right. Are there other things she is doing? Is it more than one ready meal per day? Are they leaving windows open and having multiple scalding baths or something? Is she one of the MNers who does 20+ wash loads a week and tumble dries everything?

BarbaraofSeville · 07/12/2022 20:52

Well it's incredibly wasteful environmentally, even if they can afford it, although I'm sure most people could find something more enjoyable to spend their money on, rather than their utility bill like this.

They/she has a choice, turn the temperature down to a more moderate level, or pay a lot because they use a lot. At least they'll get some extra help due to their age.

But your mum is right about many ready meals being nicer heated in the oven not the microwave, things like lasagne etc, where it goes crispy. You could buy them an air fryer for Christmas, but the energy saving that would give is a drop in the ocean compared with their ridiculous heating bill.

BarbaraofSeville · 07/12/2022 20:54

But 25 C all day, and all night? is crazily warm. 21 C is more normal and 25 will cost significantly more than that to heat up to.

Original poster
BabCNesbitt · 07/12/2022 20:56

BertieBotts · 07/12/2022 20:49

25 degrees is warm but not crazily so in a modern, small flat and using the oven for 25 mins or so daily shouldn't be causing £670 per month?? I know prices have gone up but that doesn't seem right. Are there other things she is doing? Is it more than one ready meal per day? Are they leaving windows open and having multiple scalding baths or something? Is she one of the MNers who does 20+ wash loads a week and tumble dries everything?

She watches TV all day, and sometimes runs an electric fire too. It really is unbelievably warm in their living room - she never opens the windows, even in summer, and keeps the doors shut all the time.

I know that realistically there’s not much I can do - she’s unlikely to change her habits now, and my dad won’t do a damn thing for fear of yet another tongue-lashing - but I just needed to vent a bit, really. £670 is mind-boggling. (They won’t get a smart meter because they complain if we get them “gadgets”; my dad still doesn’t even know how to read text message.)

OP posts:
Angrymum22 · 07/12/2022 20:57

25deg is tropical! I would agree with a discrete smart thermostat and disconnect the normal one. You can then gradually decrease the temp and bill over a few weeks.

GOODCAT · 07/12/2022 21:00

Would she respond to something like asking her what the ideal room temperature for someone in their 80s is, then googling it and finding it is e.g. 21 degrees (or whatever it actually is) or turning down the thermostat by e.g. 4 degrees will save £x per month or by your Dad going through their monthly budget and asking her where she would make cuts? If it is her idea, it may be easier.

However, if they both have capacity, you can just say to your Dad that it is up to him to have that discussion. It will probably be easier if you keep out of it. I have a general policy of keeping out of my mum's affairs, even if asked, unless she wants me to do something practical then and there, as being asked for and then giving my opinion, always just causes us both stress. She is sensible with money, but she has her heating on high and keeps her window very slightly open as she can't open or close it on her own and has trouble breathing so needs a flow through of air.

BMW6 · 07/12/2022 21:04

I think the fake Official letter is genius.

Sotiredmjmmy · 07/12/2022 21:07

I suspect she will only change if she feels it is her decision, and even then may not fess up to it.

I would give all the facts and figures written out, including what their consumption is now, how that would differ if change x y z, how much is “average” household and give her yearly figures too as they look worse. Not overly push it on her but leave it with them, she may well dwell on it after a while

There has been so much in the press about this that may actually be helping her justify it, that their bill isn’t unusually high as everyone is getting high bills etc.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Swipe left for the next trending thread