Wedding Invites

[burnout1993]

Hi,

I was just wondering how people did their wedding invites/whether it’s me being sensitive due to being very pregnant!

My husband and I have been together 5 years and will have 2 children by the time of this wedding. Wedding is a male friend within his small social group who I’ve also met and spent time with on days/evenings out / couples trips away as his partner wasn’t there; we’ve always got on really well.
Neither my husband or I have much to do with his fiancé but have always been pleasant when around her.

Today my husband got a message to tell him he only is invited to the whole wedding but it’s fine for me to come to the evening. We’ve then had a save the date posted to our home, addressed only to him.
I understand not inviting partners if you don’t know them at all or they’re not an established couple but I can’t help but feel this is a bit off to do the invite unequally. Unless this is a newer thing and more people do it than I’ve heard of!

If they invite partners it doubles the cost

It's fine. You are invited to the evening

It wouldn’t bother me at all. As your husband is part of a group, I don’t see a huge problem just inviting them to the day, and partners in the evening. As you’ve not mentioned accommodation it doesn’t sound like you need to travel for the wedding, as I wouldn’t expect a couple to travel only for one to attend the day and the other the evening only. Ideally, couples would be invited together, but it’s an expense that not all can justify or afford.

I think it's not right if I'm honest
Long term partners or marriage couples should be invited as such IMO

I think couples should be invited as couples. Especially couples with children. It's a celebration of the creation of a marriage. Couples are the bedrock of the institution.

Thanks for messages - guess it is something which has differing opinions and that’s fine, just how it made me feel!

We don’t know yet whether it’s just the males invited to the day and partners in the evening. DH has asked a couple of the friends in conversation, they’re not home yet to see.

It’s far enough away that I would have to drive DH through as he’d want a drink and all of the others live the other side of where it is. I’d have to then come back, look after the children for the remainder/try and get ready and then get myself back through there. We don’t have a great deal around us in terms of childcare options.

Not that it matters much as it’s their decision and preference, just how it made me feel being the main point, but they definitely aren’t in a position where they’d have to financially consider numbers - maybe just didn’t want to.

That's how my friendship group do wedding invites always has been and always will.
The ones with kids now prefer this way as it cuts down on babysitting, obviously that's only the case for weddings that are nearby.
It also cuts down the cost for the bride and groom. Or at least leaves them room for other friends/family that the are closer to, to attend

Wow. I can't imagine a scenario like this in a long term relationship

I'd just accept both for the evening.

I've always been of the opinion that serious couples be invited together. I would rather invite a couple both to the ceremony or both of them to the evening not one to each.

It's unusual but I wouldn't take offence. He is the main friend, they probably have a limited budget and can't afford the extra for other halves. They've acknowledged you by inviting you to the evening do. If you like them go, if you don't then don't.

To be honest, I've never understood the whole "it's a celebration of couples" angle.

It's a celebration of A couple.

I've really enjoyed weddings where I've attended as part of a social group, not with my husband. I'd rather have fun with the gang than babysit my husband through introductions and in jokes.

I understand that opinion but all of the couples know each other, it’s not a case of we’re strangers and we’d have to sit introducing each other or unable to sit without our partners - we’ve been on couples trips away together etc and we were both invited to their engagement party.