Had a thread on here f/night ago about horrendous panic attacks (on train) - update

[inablindpanic]

Can’t find the thread for looking now but just wanted to give a wee update, after that horrendous night on train and admission to hospital etc, I got a call from mental health team today - I’ve been fully accepted for treatment for CPTSD on the NHS .

Getting allocated a CPN within the next week, and will start ‘trauma stabilisation’ within the next month or so, said CPN will work with me on emotional regulation and coping techniques . She said longer term I’ll be seen by an MDT, psychology etc and they’ll liaise with my GP etc .

(Referal had been made back in July I think but had been expedited after recent events) .

I’m so, so enormously relieved, I’ve had symptoms of cptsd going way back to when I was very small (trauma and abuse in very early childhood), bounced around MH services for most of teens/adult life without ever really getting anywhere (lots and lots of ‘six week blocks of CBT’) - always ended up back to square one within months each time - can’t believe I’m actually going to get the right sort of help at last !!!

What brilliant brilliant news. Delighted that you will be getting the help you need.

Hope you are feeling like you can manage until the appointment comes through?

Not too too worried, I think it helps knowing I can ring the mental health team any time for advice . It’s a weird feeling, I feel like the tiny little me inside feels listened to and believed and that her experiences/story has been believed for the first time ever . I’ve only ever talked to one person in detail, she’s always believed me but never talked to anyone else until very recently . It’s such an incredible feeling for them to have validated it and said yes, it was awful enough to cause this diagnosis . It’s the weirdest and most amazing feeling .

I get it. When I had PTSD, getting the diagnosis was incredibly freeing. Partly because there was a proper explanation for everything, partly because it is NOT something you can self-help, and partly because there is proper actual TREATMENT. I was walking on air for about 24 hours after being told I had PTSD, weirdly.

So glad for you.

I remember your thread

This is terrific news 😊

I also saw it well done!!

Oh my goodness! I am so, so pleased for you! If your experience is anything like mine, this will change your life.

I also found my diagnosis incredibly validating. Finally a concrete, scientific reason that explained why I have found everything so hard. I'm not just odd, or weak, or mad. It isn't my fault. I am not to blame, and I don't need to feel ashamed. And it can get better!! I finish my treatment in February (started in April) and I am like a new woman. I can't tell you how much better I feel.

Do read 'The Body Keeps the Score' (though be aware that it contains some descriptions of abuse that may be quite triggering). I found it so powerful and positive.

Sending lots of good wishes your way! Keep us updated x

Hi, I'm really happy for you. This seems like it's been a long time coming. I hate to make your thread about me but I don't want to pass up the opportunity to get some advice, I don't know anyone else with this condition.
I think I might have cptsd or ptsd. I, too, have been passed between MH services, never really been given any proper diagnosis or answers or meaningful help. I have my first appointment with the community mental health team next week. I'm not sure what to say to get the help I need, I always try to be honest but nothing ever seems to happen. I have flashbacks, nightmares, intense long panic attacks, brain irritability, random shakes, almost constant anxiety. What did you find got you the most help?

TIA if you take the time to reply 😊😊

I was referred to primary care first, for ‘mild-moderate anxiety’ - they rang me and asked me all sorts of questions from essentially when I was born up until now, basically a timeline of my life - but asked me for details so eg if I said, x person sexually assaulted me, ‘what exactly happened’ . I don’t know if that clinched it, at the end of that call the person I spoke to said ‘it isn’t straightforward ptsd in the sense of eg a car accident or a single assault, it’s repeated assaults and abuses of you from a very young age’ and said there and then they wouldn’t be able to help, and it would need to be escalated . I don’t know if I hadn’t gone in so much (horrible) detail if they’d have listened to me as much as they have.

I’m also getting horrendous episodes of dissociation, worst is when I don’t recognise myself in the mirror or lose track of where I am/what I’m doing and suddenly ‘come to’ - GP said that was concerning her more than anything that I might come to harm from that hence referral on for help, she said she wanted more advice on how to deal with that and how to prevent it getting much worse .

Think there’s also a sense that I’m dealing with family circumstances that are unfortunately only going to get worse in next few months - couple of years …. so makes sense to have a safety net in place now .

I get the shaking, if I have to talk about things I get physically shakes, it’s a horrible feeling . I get the nightmares and flashbacks too - flashbacks at the worst are like it’s happening all over again and I have to stop and remind myself it happened 25 years ago.

@AltheaVestr1t I get you re validating - I sat and cried after call as first thought, ‘they believe me’ . They believe all that happened, and that it was bad enough to cause these issues now so many years on . It’s like years of self doubt and blame all stripped away . It’s amazing not to be told it’s mild anxiety, here’s six hours of CBT and a few ABC charts !!!

That must be such an enormous relief, OP.
I'm so glad for you that the right people are finally navigating you through the labyrinthine MH system a lot faster.

Sending you a big hug.

The body keeps the score is a great book. What also might be helpful is looking at Carolyn Spring's work (if you Google her, her website comes up). Lots and lots of well-explained, easily-digestible and very helpful information on trauma and what goes on in the brain and why.

It's a huge relief. Had lunch today with a very trusted friend and she was just as delighted, and said the same thing 'you must feel so listened to at last.' It feels daft celebrating but it explains so

I'll have a look at Carolyn Spring's stuff, her website explains dissociation really well so that's good! I've got the body keeps the score on kindle too so will give it a go too, thanks .

@inablindpanic i have the disassociation but I didn't know it had a name. That was really helpful, thank you so much. Good luck, I wish you a full recovery!:)