Refresher driving lesson mistake - very upset!

[Pp3000]

I passed my test nearly 20 years ago but having lived places with great public transport I never really used the car and was always a nervous driver. I decided to take some refresher lessons so I can get over my anxiety. I have OCD, rumination etc and my therapist suggested I book them to boost my confidence).

I’ve had about 5 lessons and my instructor was telling me that I was a good driver and that I didn’t really need anymore lessons until my lesson last night. I was waiting to turn right across a bypass (60mph) and had been too unsure about the gaps to go. The instructor was saying “you could have gone there…and there” and then when a gap appeared that I was comfortable with I went to go but somehow managed to press the accelerator too hard and the car lurched forward way too fast. I crossed into the turning fine and didn’t lose control but the instructor was telling me that that was really dangerous and that I could have spun the car if there had been oil on the surface or stalled while the oncoming traffic were coming towards me.

I’m really freaked out now that I nearly caused a massive accident. One of my fears is that I’m a bad driver and this feels like I’ve had it confirmed.

I’ve been thinking about it all day and am so upset with myself for making a stupid mistake. Does driving get easier? Or am I just not cut out for it???

Honestly, try not to worry. Things like this do happen occasionally. Try to put it behind you. I did something similar a couple of months ago and I've been driving for years. Your instructor doesn't sound great though

Oh dear, you mustn't overthink this. There isn't a single driver who has never made a mistake. As you drive more, you will gain in confidence. Good luck with it.

Making a mistake doesn’t in itself make you a bad driver. Even very good drivers make mistakes in judgement. And poor drivers are often unaware or unbothered if they make mistakes. It sounds like you’re very aware of the issues and have taken on board what happened and why. It doesn’t sound like your instructor handled that well though. Poor you.

Please don’t let it knock your confidence. A lot of driving involves things that eventually become essentially automatic processes. At the start or after a break everything is much more effortful. It really does get easier as you get more practice with the process and more experience of situations.

somehow managed to press the accelerator too hard and the car lurched forward way too fast. I crossed into the turning fine and didn’t lose control but the instructor was telling me that that was really dangerous and that I could have spun the car if there had been oil on the surface or stalled while the oncoming traffic were coming towards me.

I agree that your Instructor did not handle what happened at all well, from the sounds of it. In those circumstances you certainly don't want to be dawdling across to the turning either. Nothing worse on a busy road than someone pulling out and over at a snail's pace. So you had the right idea - just overdid it and we ALL make mistakes.

Practice will make perfect, honestly. Don't let it knock your confidence. Consider changing your Driving Instructor if he is constantly knocking your confidence, instead of building it up.

I’ve done that before and skidded - and I’ve been driving 30 years 🫢 Everyone makes mistakes from time to time.

Honestly, don’t let it put you off. Have you seen the way some people drive? 😆

A) your instructor put you under unnecessary pressure.
B) practice will help - the more time you’re driving the more familiar you will be to throttle response, steering, braking, observation etc. So don’t be discouraged, just try to get as much time behind the wheel as possible, somewhere quiet. Also a good idea to get used to driving at night, on wet roads etc.

Anyone can cause a serious accident every time they drive. My dad gave me a long lecture about cars being deadly weapons when I was learning. The point is any driver can’t get complacent.

you didn’t skid, you didn’t cause an accident. Just practice and you’ll get more and more comfortable.