I've just got new hearing aids and it's exhausting.

[RockaLock]

Everyone is SHOUTING at me. All the time.

I've had a mild/moderate hearing loss for probably all my life (I'm 47 now) but it was only diagnosed when DS2 was born.

I resisted hearing aids for the last 14 years because I was OK with how I was hearing. But recently I've felt like I've really been struggling to hear in all sorts of situations, so thought I'd give them a go. I picked them up yesterday.

And it turns out my whole family SHOUT all the time. Of course, they don't really, it's just that's how it seems to me. It's exhausting.

And they are complaining that now I'm talking too quietly. But my voice in my head sounds really really loud! So that's something else I have to work out that I hadn't considered before.

I'm dreading wearing the aids out and about because everything will be amplified - traffic, other people talking, all the background noise that I wouldn't have noticed before.

Please tell me that will get used to this level of loudness sooner rather than later!!

@RockaLock - That sounds exhausting!
Could you, perhaps, wear your hearing aids only at certain times to begin with and then build up?

Absolutely nothing like what you’re really going through, but I had blocked ears for more than a month once, and then they were syringed. Wow - everything was so loud and it took a couple of days for me to adjust, so I can only imagine what it must be like for you after 47 years.

I hope it all settles down soon and you can enjoy your new hearing!

I think you will adjust soon, but can you do it gradually - is there a way of turning them down slightly?

I found it exhausting. The problem is they turn the noise up on everything not just someone speaking to you.

I don’t wear mine anymore I’ve kind of given up a bit on them.

This is what it's like being autistic. You have my every sympathy.

Thanks, everyone.

They are already only at 85% of my "prescription" so goodness only knows what it would be like if they were at 100%! I can't turn them down, I can make them louder but I don't think I'll be doing that at the moment...

I was WFH yesterday and am again today, so at least that gives me a chance to get used to them a bit more gradually.

I suppose that although I knew there would be an adjustment period, I didn't realise it would be quite so difficult. I went into one shop on the way home yesterday and thought great, I'll be able to hear the person serving me properly. But it really didn't work like that, as all the other noise in the shop was so much louder as well. I know that my brain will eventually learn to filter out background noise again, but...

Yes your brain will filter and accommodate them.
Your family have possibly got into the habit of shouting because they’ve always had to do so before you got your aids? They too might adjust their decibels in time or, maybe they’re just loud people anyway?

Sadly hearing aids don’t answer all ones deafness issues & loud noise around you in supermarkets or pubs for example, on public transport or where acoustics are not softened by furnishings/carpets etc, can be challenging.

Try to persevere with them. It will get better, it just takes time to adjust.

Just get the audiologist to turn them down a bit more. It's what I did with my first pair and ended up wearing them long term at 75%.

For my last two pairs, they've come with volume control, which was set up by the audiologist, operated by the toggle/rocker switches on each aid. There's apparently a choice as to what the toggle switches do, and one of the options is volume control. I can't really remember what the other options were - I think one was a setting to press the toggle button to use a hearing induction loop.

If your hearing aids have toggle buttons, then I'd be pretty confident the audiologist could set it up for user-controlled volume, but even if not, just ask them to turn the volume down.

I can imagine how overwhelming that is. I care for an autistic lady and when things are too busy or loud, she wears noise cancelling headphones. I switch them on for her and then pop them on myself first to check they are working and that brief moment I wear them, my whole body relaxes from having all the background noise filtered out. I'm considering getting some for myself. My colleague has already bought herself some.
I would definitely have times not wearing them as you adjust

There's also the option of going private. The private aids tend to be a lot better, with an app to change settings via your mobile phone, and there can be several "programs" that the audiologist can set up, i.e. normal indoor voices, driving in a car, in a noisy crowd at say a football match, etc. I went for a consultation with a private hearing clinic and was very impressed with what they can do. I didn't go ahead with it at the time, as it was just before covid, and once the covid lockdowns happened, I obviously wasn't going to crowded places so didn't need the better hearing aid. Now, 3 years later, I'm still using the NHS ones as I've got used to them, and live pretty close to the audiology dept so easy to get settings changed. But I think next time I need some, I'll find out what the NHS can offer first, and compare the functions with the private ones. The private audiologist said that the NHS start using new advanced models a few years after they're made available to private clinics (i.e. when manufacturer prices fall as they introduce new/better models), so I suspect things like app controlled ones will start to become available via the NHS shortly (if not already).

Thanks, @Idontdoyoga. I have a 60 day trial before I have to decide whether to keep them or not, so I will give them my best shot during that time.

I don't think that my family are particularly loud. I put a decibel meter on my phone yesterday and their voices were definitely in the "normal" range for speech. But I suppose they still might be a little louder than some. Probably we do talk a bit more loudly for DS2 because he's still pretty deaf even with his aids (I have a new respect for him now!!)

I think I'm just feeling a bit deflated at the moment - I was looking forward to being able to hear people properly, and although I knew it wasn't like putting on a pair of glasses and ta-dah! vision restored!, I didn't fully realise the full extent of it all. The real test will start when I'm in the office tomorrow, as that is somewhere where I've really struggled recently to hear conversations properly.

Mood also not helped by "D"H and his "hilarious" jokes about it all

When I got mine, the person who fitted them told me to persevere with them, that everything will sound different. She wasn't wrong!
The first day was an eye opener,or should I say ear opener!

I left the clinic and stepped on a leaf..and nearly jumped out of my skin with the noise!
Going home in the car,the car indicators were so noisy. Getting in the house and the dog was running around on the wood floor and, to me, was making a racket.
The clock on the wall with it's annoying ticking...
And it did feel as though everyone was shouting at me.

5 years on and I love them. They've made such a difference to me.
🙂

Please keep going. I was the same, had my 1st ones in September and it takes a good few weeks to adjust properly and how your own voice sounds etc. Supermarkets, town etc I still struggle with but you do get used to it. I went private and have an app I can control the volume, base, treble etc. It was £800 and on a pay monthly no interest

Thank you, @Kazzyhoward. I have a review in a couple of weeks, so yes, maybe I will ask the audiologist to turn them down a bit more! That's interesting to hear that you were at 75% for a while, thank you, that's sort of comforting to hear!

They are private aids, with apparently all the programs I could ever want on them, so there's nowhere really left to go from these.

They do have toggle switches, but because they are only at 85% already she set them to turn the volume up, not down. That's something I might ask her to flip around when I go back!

Thank you @RoseOud and @Haribosweets as well for your positive stories!! It really helps to hear them all

I did not realise just how much everything creaks and clicks and clunks in our house ALL THE TIME! How do "normal" people put up with it!

Even the sound of something like the tap running - BE QUIET, PLEASE!!!

Sounds like your aids are too loud.

I can turn volume up and down on mine as well, no problem. The app on my phone connected to my hearing aids allows me to program settings for restaurants, TV, daily life, flights, etc. You have to play around to find the right settings for you.

It allows me to control noise reduction, volume, treble, dynamic (can make loud sounds quieter and quiet sounds louder) and so on.

Mine are NHS ones with app program control at the touch of a button.

If you're new to hearing aids, the brain eventually gets used to it all. How long it takes depends on how old you are - a 20 year old will adjust much faster than a 40 year old. As I get older, I notice it takes progressively longer and longer for the brain adjust.

I've had my hearing aids upgraded last week. They are fancy pants Bluetooth ones now, but my goodness the sound quality on them is something else. I'm hearing some noises for the first time ever.

Like you, I find it overwhelming so I'm wearing one hearing aid at a time until I adjust. I sometimes have to have some quiet time because my brain feels like it is going to explode.

I worked in a nursing home, and we were given a hearing aid to wear so that we understood that it amplified every noise and not just what you wanted to hear. I found it completely overwhelming as I'm very sensitive to noise anyway.

Try little and often, and don't tire your brain out too much with overuse.

I find the sound very tinny and scratchy, so I’m very selective about when I wear them. If I get used to them, I’ll save up for some better quality ones. Or maybe get DH to stop mumbling.

If you’re a new hearing aid user you’re often advised to work up to wearing them gradually as the brain often can’t cope with the sudden influx of new stimuli. I’ve worn them all my life but even in childhood I used to take them off when I came home from school, just so my brain could have a rest.

I really think that elderly people in particular need a sustained period of aftercare and follow up when they get given hearing aids, as it takes them so long to get the full benefits. It seems such a waste to give them these expensive instruments only for them to give up and shove them in a drawer somewhere.

So, I'm a week in, and I'm really not sure what to make of the aids.

I have now adjusted to the loudness and don't really notice it. So that's a plus.

The sound quality is really clear, and they are very comfortable (in-ear aids), so most of the time I'm not really aware of them IYSWIM.

EXCEPT for whenever I speak!!! It's really weird, but the best way that I can describe it is that because I am only hearing my own voice inside my head, it sounds exactly like it would sound if I was full of a really bad cold and had blocked-up ears.

So that's really disconcerting, and I really dislike feeling as though I have a cold whenever I speak!

Whenever I eat, I can literally only hear myself eating. So when I went out to lunch today, I ended up taking the aids out as I couldn't hear what my colleague was saying at all.

At the moment I really don't know if I want to keep them after the 60 day trial - I'm not convinced at the moment that the positives outweigh the negatives. But we'll see.

Take your time getting used to them and turn the sound down. It will get better.

(But I totally understand taking them out so the world is quieter!)

Can you control them via your phone? My friend has NHS ones that she controls via an app and they have a half dozen different settings.

I have a moderate-severe bilateral loss and use NHS behind the ear aids that have an accompanying app. I can turn them up or down to almost silent as I require (my older ones could also be turned up or down without the app). Definitely ask your audiologist to change the settings to allow you to control the volume.

You do get more used to hearing things, though. I've had mine for 8 years, I'm in my early 40s now, so very used to them. It does take a few days after each adjustment to get used to them again, though!

Re. the eating, I can only hear myself munching so either stop eating if dungeons is taking too me, or ask them to wait until I'm finished.

It all starts off a bit weird but you do get used to them. I will say, though, that I haven't particularly enjoyed noisy environments like the pub ever since getting them, as I still get 'hearing fatigue' with lots of noise. Getting home and taking them out is bliss! I try to have a day or part day every week where I leave them out, just for some peace!

There's a thread on here for those of us who have a hearing loss/are deaf so if you haven't found us already do come over! www.mumsnet.com/talk/general_health/4340542-Thread-for-those-of-us-that-are-deaf-hard-of-hearing?page=17

Honestly, you get used to your own voice and your eating noises. It's just so amplified because it's so close to your hearing aids. You are doing so well!