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Original poster

Delete WhatsApp/leave group chat

16 replies

cortisolqueen · 05/12/2022 00:44

My 12yo is having a rough time at school.

No friends, being excluded by classmates. He's on a class WhatsApp group & the others slate him (they copy his profile picture/status & mock him) or jump on him whenever he tries to take part.

He's archived the group but obviously can still see it if he looks.

I want him to leave the group, but he's worried he'll miss out on class information etc & feel even more left out.

Should I insist? I just want him to be ok.

OP posts:
user1477249785 · 05/12/2022 00:56

This is bullying. You need to raise this with the school and ask them to deal with it.

asblindasabat · 05/12/2022 01:19

I would be taking screenshots off all conversations that are aimed at him in a derogatory way and then leave the group.

And then, I’d be taking the screenshots to the principal of the school.

ComfortablyDazed · 05/12/2022 01:20

OP - you absolutely must involve the school in this, please.

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12 year olds
DrMarciaFieldstone · 05/12/2022 01:21

Take screenshots and ring the Head tomorrow

HarrietSchulenberg · 05/12/2022 02:02

Screenshot conversations and pass to class teacher requesting action. A reminder from school to parents that WhatsApp is a 16+ app for data handling purposes might help, as well as prompt action to stop the bullying.

Original poster
cortisolqueen · 05/12/2022 08:44

Thank you all. I've taken screenshots, had a chat with him this morning & he's left/deleted the group. Will try to contact his teacher this week.

He told me this morning that he's responding to them treating him badly by telling them "who wants to hang out with you anyway", which is understandable but won't help the situation.

OP posts:
DosCervezas · 05/12/2022 10:07

It's a terrible thing for your son to be experiencing this horrible bullying. Technology can be such an enabling tool for bullies. Unfortunately I can guarantee that the school will be up to their eyeballs in dealing with online issues which are happening out of school. You can let them know, they might try to address it as best they can,but although this is a school group of school pupils, schools generally don't have the capacity for tackling bullying that's going on over social media and out of school hours, as there really is so much of it going on . But you have to do something about it, maybe police?

Original poster
cortisolqueen · 05/12/2022 10:09

I've called the school and they're going to get someone to phone back.

What can I realistically expect them to do about this? Will it make things worse? I only have a few screenshots (not the worst stuff) so it's more a general class concern than pinpointing/accusing one or two specific people.

I'm also not convinced that moving classes will help.

He thinks he's being targeted because he likes learning and doesn't want to mess about.

OP posts:
DosCervezas · 05/12/2022 10:19

cortisolqueen · 05/12/2022 10:09

I've called the school and they're going to get someone to phone back.

What can I realistically expect them to do about this? Will it make things worse? I only have a few screenshots (not the worst stuff) so it's more a general class concern than pinpointing/accusing one or two specific people.

I'm also not convinced that moving classes will help.

He thinks he's being targeted because he likes learning and doesn't want to mess about.

They would most likely get the form tutor to speak with those responsible and make them aware that their behaviour is bullying and needs to stop. Then it all depends on whether they respect what's been said and refrain or don't give a shit and carry on regardless. Lots of kids ignore their teachers unfortunately! He needs to leave the group and team up with others who he has more in common with instead on a new group.

user1471447924 · 05/12/2022 10:50

You can export a transcript of entire group chats on WhatsApp, including all images, GIFs, voice notes etc. It’s down the bottom on the info screen of the group.

Original poster
cortisolqueen · 05/12/2022 11:09

user1471447924 · 05/12/2022 10:50

You can export a transcript of entire group chats on WhatsApp, including all images, GIFs, voice notes etc. It’s down the bottom on the info screen of the group.

Thanks - I wish I'd known this before he deleted the group.

OP posts:
Lochjeda · 05/12/2022 11:10

This absolutely breaks my heart. I know its so difficult I have just gone through similar with my 12 year old daughter being left out, we started rhe process of loving schools but things then improved.

Maybe changing classes would help, is there no kids he was friends with at primary school in a different class he could be moved to? I know in my area they will all be moving classes in May anyway depending on the subjects they choose and from then on things can change drastically with friendship groups going by experience with my eldest.

Original poster
cortisolqueen · 05/12/2022 11:19

It is really hard. All his friends went to different schools (selective schools or other schools we were too far away from to get a place).

I don't think it's the school specifically, but there are lots of kids who've transferred there with most of their primary school, so hard to break into friendship groups. Even the small number of kids he knows from outside activities sometime join in with saying things about him sometimes.

He had loads of friends at primary school so this is really hard for him.

He likes learning and gets a bit frustrated with the other kids who talk/mess about - I'm aware that this probably doesn't help with his (lack of) popularity...

We're trying to encourage him to make a real effort to talk to other people, but I think he's giving up and has resigned himself to hating it.

OP posts:
asblindasabat · 05/12/2022 18:03

I would expect the principal to speak to pupils involved and their parents. They will have to go by evidence but the evidence is there. I would like to think they would at least suspend those individuals.

asblindasabat · 05/12/2022 18:04

@cortisolqueen also if you haven’t already, I’d get him to block the numbers of those involved so they can’t contact him anymore. So nasty and so vicious. I feel for him.

Original poster
cortisolqueen · 05/12/2022 20:38

Thanks all. Numbers have been blocked. I had photographed a few of the messages so have forwarded them on to the teacher I spoke to.

I don't know how much information they'll give me in terms of if/how they will deal with it, just hope things improve a bit.

OP posts:
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