They’re bloody elasticated too .
I weigh about 23-23 and a half stone .
I hate myself . I hate my size, I hate my stomach, I hate the fact that I have to lift up the fat to wash underneath it in the shower . I hate the fact that I wheeze when I walk sometimes and I struggle to even do the dishes some days because my back hurts so much .
I’ve been to the GP who said to go to weight watchers but I can’t get my head in the right mind set . I’ve had three major bereavements, and dealing with historic abuse in childhood and assault, and I’m not coping well, I’m back and forth to crisis team fairly regularly . GP said potentially medication is having an effect . I don’t leave the house now unless someone’s with me and that hardly ever happens, so I hardly ever leave the house - and I’ve no energy to go for a walk anyway .
I fucking hate myself for doing this to myself . I don’t know how to stop . I can’t eat a normal size portion, I had four slices of toast for breakfast yesterday then a big tasty from McDonald’s, 6 chicken nuggets, 4 of those cheese things, a McFlurry, a brownie and a cookie .
I used to make myself vomit it back up but I ended up with horrendous acid reflux so try not to do that now.
I don’t know how to get control back and I’m scared my weight’s going to kill me . Whenever I think about dieting I feel like I’m being punished so I give up within days .