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How to reconnect with my 3 year old?

3 replies

DarkShade · 04/12/2022 22:07

I'm feeling out of sync with my DS, who is an only child and has just turned 3. We used to have a great bond, but I've just changed from doing 3 days a week at work to 4 days, and grandparents have become involved in care, and it seems to have really tipped the balance. I find that I don't understand him as well and don't know what to do with him.

He has started acting out, everything I suggest is 'no', he demands my constant attention, but doesn't want to play with me or do anything. He wants to just be cuddled or he lies on the floor calling me, or misbehaves. He's a good child generally but I'm finding more and more that I waste my prescious time that I'm with him telling him off. Then he gets more upset, and it all deteriorates.

DP thinks I give him too much attention, and instead I should prioritise housework when at home so that DS will leartn to 'slot in' and play by himself. I just feel that me and DS have lost something, we used to be such a team and loved spending time doing things together. Partly I think don't know how to play with him now he's older. I'm also unhappy in my life outside of DS, and worry it seeps into my attitude with him.

So please could you share your suggestions, what do you love doing with your 3 year olds, what do they love doing with you? How can we reconnect and go back to being a team? How can I leave the rest of my problems aside and just be a good mum to him?

OP posts:
N4ish · 04/12/2022 22:12

I would suggest a day of love bombing where you completely focus on your son. Oliver James has a book about this. Your DP won’t be on board if he already thinks you give your son too much attention so you’ll need to be prepared to do it despite lack of support from him.

KindergartenKop · 04/12/2022 22:19

At this age you can go for lovely walks with them and chat about what you see or talk about other stuff. Then come home and cook lunch together. Teach him how you cook something he likes.

At 3 they're a lot more switched on than at 2. They're children, not babies. Sometimes that takes some adaptation!

DarkShade · 04/12/2022 22:27

Thank you both! I will try these suggestions. I like the idea of involving him in things like cooking, I think I'm used to almost sending him out of kitchen when I cook in case he gets injured but actually I realise including him would probably be safer as well as more fun.

@N4ishthanks for the recommend, I just read this article on it www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2012/sep/22/oliver-james-love-bombing-children - Intrigued!

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