I cannot find any contentment in life.

[Spliffle]

I am really unhappy with my life because I am so traumatised from childhood. I have done everything possible to help myself and I still suffer enormously. I don't want this to be my life. I have so much potential in me but I'm terrified to take the tiniest step forward, even after a very long time in therapy. If I don't pull my finger out I'm going to be on the streets before long. I hate my life.

Gosh, sorry to hear this. I'm not sure how to reply but there are people here to listen. Do you have any friends or family?

There are alternatives to therapy. Have a look at Crappy Childhood Fairy on YouTube. She recommends daily writing and meditation. You will have a happy life; hang on to that thoughtX

Funnily enough, I was just listening to CCF. No I don't have any family. I have a couple of friends but I keep my stuff mostly quiet from them because it's too much for them to hear/handle.

Have you tried journalling?
Making art?
Exploring several different forms of creativity - some as kind of soothing rituals, and some as forms of expression?
Nature photography. Designing clothes and making them. Learn a new skill.
Books - Atomic Habits, Artist's Way, anything by Matt Haig - The Midnight Library, The Comfort Book.
Managing your life with daily practices.
What childhood things did you enjoy that you could revisit?

How are you this morning @Spliffle? CCF says that therapy can be retraumatising due to having to go through painful memories again, which reinforces them. I don't know why the daily writing and meditation helps but it seems to be about gradually replacing self-limiting and upsetting thoughts with more nurturing and constructive ones.

I can't pretend to have had the same childhood as you, @Spliffle , but have had a tough life.. I've mentioned before on here that I picture a 'STOP' roadsign in my head when my memory goes down the wrong route. It did work for me, I can now shift my focus from bad times without the 'sign'.
I also count my blessings - hopefully you have some at least tiny ones, & build on those. Smile at people, if they smile back it's a huge boost. Good luck.. oh, also, as I've mentioned on MN this morning - hypnotherapy. Find one with a good reputation, preferably word of mouth. Hugs..