Is this manipulation?

[User198724]

My Dh and I have been having issues for a few years now, but a reoccurring problem is our sex life.
we got married quite young and he would be very vocal about how often we were having sex and often leave me in tears, I told him if I knew at the time what I know now I would call this abuse and he agreed.
fastforward to the other night, he said to me that we hadn’t had sex in at least 3 months and kept asking what the reason was, I told him I didn’t think it was that long but he was adamant. When I went back through the calendar (it coincided with a recent event) I said we had actually had sex twice in 5 weeks. He said to him it felt like longer and that’s why he brought it up.
He makes me feel like I’m being dramatic or taking things out of context.
really appreciate any opinions as I don’t know what to think!

He's emotionally bullying you and attempting to gaslight you.

This is not healthy.

There should be no calendars or tallying of sex in a relationship.

Sex should ONLY EVER happen when both are keen and engaged. Nagging, moaning, coercive behaviour etc is attempting to force sex from an unwilling partner.

Enthusiastic consent is the only consent, anything else is lack of consent.

Think about your life to this point with this 'man', how many times have you had sex with him when you weren't really in the mood but felt you had too to keep him quiet, to keep the peace, so you don't have to walk on eggshells.. of the answer is 1 or more, that's abuse.. some might even consider it rape... Lack of consent is no consent, sex with no consent is..

if you had a daughter, is this what you would wish for her? If you had a friend, is this what you'd wish for her?

Herein lies your answers

He says he’s asking me because he thinks that if I don’t want sex there is something wrong with him. I’ve explained a million times that we have different sex drives obviously but that’s not a reason to him.
I said that I’m exhausted by the end of the day after a very demanding job and the next day he “worked” from home because now it wasn’t a problem because we had all day. I told him I felt manipulated and he said he was just removing the obstacles I said was there.
Im not wrong am I? This isn’t ok right?

I can’t see the point in staying together if you both have different sexual/physical needs.

Its just going to lead to resentment on both sides and possible cheating/an affair on his.

Sex/making love and it’s frequency is a big part of a relationship and for many when there is no intimacy it changes the dynamic of the relationship and distances them.

You see him as badgering you and he sees you as being cold/frigid.

Better to split now and find partners that you are compatible with on every level.

It wouldn't be okay for me, not in a million years.

The second I feel any pressure or manipulation into sexual activity I'm not in the mood for, it's the time the relationship ends.

Sounds like your douche is trying to pressure and nag instead of seducing and getting you in the mood. It's up to you if you tolerate it, some will, I wouldn't and next time he suggests there's something wrong with him, I'd suggest that yes, yes there is.. he feels he can pressure you and guilt trip you etc into sex you don't want but he feels he deserves or needs.