Feeling very low, crying, and don't know whether it's the time of year or events over the past two years

[Teatimes2]

I'm late 40s and am feeling the lowest I've ever felt at the moment. No motivation, no interest in my appearance, met some friends today for lunch and cried driving there and back. I live alone, no children, a five year relationship ended in 2021 and I didn't feel this bad last Christmas, but I think I was trying to be "strong". The breakup took me a long time to come to terms with, I was very hurt and I spent a lot of time alone after this as we were still in lockdown. I really feel I haven't bounced back, feel flat. Thought I'd be much better this Christmas and so I haven't told anyone how I'm feeling because I don't really know why I'm feeling like this.

Anyone been through similar and has any advice?

Go easy on yourself. It's a hard time of year. That was a tough couple of years for you and you're only human.

So sorry you feel like this OP. Loneliness has made me feel like this in the past. Not just for a day or two but for months. I lived alone for 7 years.

I was single with no children too and sometime driving home from work on a Friday I'd cry because I knew everyone was going home to a family or partner.

I know how I would have felt today going to lunch with friends. The dark nights don't help and the Christmas season.

I found that finding something to do at home was good for me and I loved cooking so I'd go shopping and did some batch cooking, watched loads of tv and made my home nice had a good sort out.

There were good times in that 7 years too. Bank holidays I found really hard. More so than Christmas actually as I'd be mad busy at work and then go to my mums.

You could consider get some anti depressants from the GP and try taking therapies on the nhs for low mood.

I have children, partner and family but still find this time of year very tough. The bad weather etc. I’ve also had a tough couple of years and for some reason at this time of year it all seems harder. Try the gp. Don’t be scared to ask for help. I tell myself they no one is immune from hard times, they won’t last forever, everything passes and things will get easier.

I’m so sorry. It’s tough at this time of year, and I think (personally speaking) that the general awfulness of the past few years is yet to be properly worked through. Added to which your sad breakup last year.

Try to please yourself and be gentle on yourself, you’re worthy and valuable, and you deserve the best.

I'm already on mirtazapine for anxiety which I developed after breakup - for not being able to relax, couldn't sleep. I didn't feel down when I started them, just a feeling that my body was on constant alert. A few months ago I'd hoped to come off them soon as I was starting to feel less anxious, but I don't think this will be happening not.

Morning. I'm sending you a handhold. I can identify with your situation. My partner committed suicide a year ago yesterday. I too usually walk to the car park on a Friday night crying. I'm 53, no kids. I.think the lockdown has had a massive effect on many of us,especially if u live alone. I am.not the same person. I have friends who want me to do things, but told them it is a contradiction, I want company,but I don't- doesn't make sense I know. Yesterday to occupy myself in between crying i made 3 cakes- not all for me🙄and two pies,listened to woman's hour and an economy prog on radio 4- an idiots guide and chatted to a mate. Christmas not in my house this year. I have heard people mentioning volunteering in a soup kitchen. The only reason I won't be doing that is Covid.
Is it possible yiu can ask for counselling? In the area I live in,Midlands, you are able to refer yourself. I bern doing it a while. Hood luck with things. No you are not alone.

Oops,typos. Know you are not alone. Not had my cup of tea yet😫

Yes,I think you're right about the impact of lockdowns, and I haven't spoken to friends about how I'm feeling as they probably think I should by now have moved on from lockdown and the breakup. I did speak to a counsellor after the relationship ended - but only for a couple of sessions - and she really helped me to see I'd a lucky escape. Maybe I should consider having more.

If you're a woman op a lot of your issues sound like peri menopause

Yes
That's a good idea.invest in you. Take care

I am sorry you are feeling so shit.

I felt the same and I didn't need antidepressants, I needed HRT. As soon as you said you were late 40s that was the first thing that sprang to mind. Have a read about symptoms and see what you think.

www.nhs.uk/conditions/menopause/symptoms/

i came on to suggest menopause may be making things worse for you - I do see that you’ve got a lot going on but that sense of flatness, what’s-the-point, no motivation overwhelmed me too (mum died, empty nest, unfulfilling job all going on at the same time), Astonishingly HRT made a massive difference to my motivation and ability to enjoy the good things in life. May be worth a try.

I also treated myself to some good therapy and that helped too.

Peri menopause.
I didn't know it was a thing until I hit 51.
Severe anxiety and loss of motivation,insomnia.I get SAD and yet this was something else.I wish someone had told me that in my late 40s.
It makes everything harder like wading through treacle.
Hrt helps enormously.

Thanks for the advice and something to consider re my age and peri menopause.