How I can be less emotional

[breathcalmly]

I tear up all the time about things, sad news on the TV, seeing cute little toddlers (reminds me that my now (moody) teenage kids are growing up fast), seeing people struggling with disabilities, watching DIY SOS and similar programmes, it’s exhausting but can’t help it. I had a life threatening illness a couple of years ago (cancer) so not sure if this fuels this but to be honest I was like this before that. I need to stop crying all the time. One big trigger is a lovely mum and son I see walking around our park sometime, her son is very severely autistic and about the same age as my son and I just feel for her so much because she looks broken. I try not to show my emotions in front of her but really feel for her.

Did your cancer treatment put you into early menopause? Do you have any other symptoms that might benefit from medical management?

If not and you’re just a sensitive and emotional person please don’t feel bad. There is nothing wrong with being sensitive. In fact I think the world would be a better place if more people were like you. You have experienced a major life event and it is natural that it has altered your perspective of the world.

What a lovely response, thank you. Yes it did put me in an early menopause and no medical intervention as cannot have oestrogen. Guess I am in that time of life where kids are getting older, parents are getting older, and yes having that illness hugely altered my perspective of life.

I’d start with a full analysis of your hormone levels. Next up would probably be therapy. You have been through a lot with having had cancer.

Oh OP you sound lush. I’m quite a tearful person too and it doesn’t take much for me to become watery eyed although like you I try not to show it much. Don’t force yourself to change, the world needs people like you.

I cry at everything, happy and sad. I have tried everything but to me it us just like sneezing, you just have to go with it.

If you find a solution please tell me.

Why change your personality/character? As long as you not hijacking other peoples grief and making it about you and your feelings then being a sensitive soul is perfectly fine.

I can understand you might not want to appear emotional in front of others sometimes so perhaps find a way to make yourself laugh at yourself by thinking of the sensitive guy in the film Bedazzled at any time you feel it might be inappropriate to start crying.

Hi OP

I’m like this too as is my oldest DC.

One odd but practical tip I’ve learnt is when I feel I’m going to tear up and it’s not the right time to I think of bread - a big white loaf of bread. Somehow it stops it in its tracks! I suspect it could be something similarly mundane …

I do think being emotional is a lovely quality. But what I also wonder is - do you allow yourself to get sad about your own losses and difficulties or just other people's? Perhaps it is easier to react to the sadness you see around you, but if I was working with you (I'm a therapist) I might be looking to see if you can acknowledge and feel some of your own sadness and loss.

I'm a very emotional person too and I find it so embarrassing that I get tearful regularly in front of people. I'm going to try and visualise the slice of bread though!

I would imagine you are holding onto a lot of grief for yourself and this is manifesting as extreme empathy for others - and menopause! Counselling would be helpful. Good luck Op.

Thank you everyone, glad to hear that there are others out there like me! I’ve had a lot of good counselling after my illness and live a pretty good life - I was always like this I think but it’s increasing as I get older and perhaps more hormonal and sentimental. My youngest was only 3 when I got diagnosed and had to hold her bday party at our house with loads of kids and mums the day I got diagnosed so had to hold a lot of emotion in that day - perhaps it’s been coming out ever since! I will think of bread and Bedazzled going forward if I want to control it.