Dream job but just not settling. Advice or your experience would be lovely.

[ColinRobinsonsfamiliar]

I’m 9 months in.
Here are my reasons for not finding my feet:

Peri menopausal. So brain fog, forgetfulness, sleep is crap, periods all over. Painful, heavy, flooding.

Its a WHOLE new culture. People on a different level to me, higher intellect, know the business.

Its a whole new way of working. The job is like night & day from anything I have ever done or experienced before.

Because it’s all new, I’ve got LOADS to learn, I struggle to absorb, vital information and retain it.

I feel bombarded with information and requests and honestly think that it’s too much. But, they all seem to naturally believe that is ok.

I just don’t know what im doing, don’t know what they are talking about half the time and am lost in meetings and with requests. My line manager isn’t interested particularly and doesn’t get it.

So want to succeed in this job but it’s not going well at all.
Advice or can you share similar experiences? Thanks x

I've had similar feelings, but after nine months, I think I'd either be gritting my teeth and getting on with it, or I'd be thinking this isn't what I want and moving on.

I think a lot depends on how much is down to people/culture (maybe same job in different company would be the dream) and how much is the nature of the work (maybe it's not the dream).

What are the positives where you can see things are better than they were six months ago and might be better again next year?

Get your health sorted. Definitely the flooding, that must be so difficult.

Check the brain fog isn't thyroid or low iron too. Get some blood tests done, make sure they include ferritin. When you get the results, get a print off & check the actual numbers.

Check for imposter syndrome, sounds like you're still a bit in awe.

I left a job like this. Regret it.
But i did not have healrh issues.
Good luck and well done you landed dream job x
Manager sounds shit....

You’d be perimenopausal whatever the job. Nine months is a long time to decide whether the job is for you. Can you see yourself doing something else or would it now feel boring after this job? I’d stick with it. It’s good to be challenged.

Thanks so much.
100% agree re the health aspect. A GP appointment might be in order. Get the ball rolling on ZHRT magic.
Also 100% agree on imposter syndrome. Yes! But why hasn’t that shit pissed off by now?!

Gritting my teeth & cracking on here is the only option. There is no other option because honestly, it’s an AMAZING job.

Lady yep, you are right, never thought of that, wherever I go, I’ll take peri with me until it’s sorted.

Peri is crap. Depends also what else you have going on. I took a new job about a year ago. Very different area and ethos. Long commute. I’m a few years from retirement (hopefully!), but I thought instead of winding down, why not challenge myself a bit. I couldn’t have done it even 5 years ago, due to kids and general exhaustion.

Can you afford external coaching?
Or look for a buddy or mentor within the business? (though my experience is- choose very carefully who you confide in within the business...)

Agree to get peri issues sorted, get tested for levels, HRT if needed etc.

In terms of work - if it's the dream job then sounds like it's worth persevering if you can. If your line manager is not helpful then is there someone else in the org who might agree to mentor / coach you? Did you have a decent induction? Do you have clear objectives, deliverables etc? But it might be that even if the role is right, the company isn't.

Peri menopause is utter shit. Ime it is way worse than meno itself, which I actually quite enjoy - the relief of no more periods, no more pain, no more PMT! Peri is when people really need HRT I suspect - to clear the brain fog which is so pernicious. I'd chat with GP. In the mean time, take herbal iron supplements like Feroglobin or Floradix, and maybe momega-3, magnesium and L-Tryrosine (can cause headaches) just to sharpen your brain power.

Company is fantastic. It ticks every single box and I love it.

Sorting the tangle of overwhelm is key I think. One thing at a time.

I do have a buddy, but they are in a very similar boat (been there less time than me, no experience in this industry either) so while they have sympathy and empathy, they can’t offer me a clear mutual plan iyswim.

Need to have a think.

Are you on HRT? I honestly thought I was getting early onset dementia when I had hormonal issues. Get some estrogen in you and you’ll feel like yourself again and ready to tack any challenge. It’s not you, it’s the lack of oxygen to the brain!

You are still there after 9 months - so unless they have mentioned something in a group meeting, you must be meeting their expectations. - therefore most likely imposter syndrome. Think like a man and fake it to make it. Tell yourself daily that you’ve got this, and everyday you know something more than when your originally started. Eventually you will go yeah! I know what I’m doing with this project/day/month/problem etc.
Get your health checked - once you know what’s going on it will be one less background worry, which is probably adding to your overall stress.

They say I’m doing brilliantly! Exceed expectations and all targets but I just think that they must have low standards because honestly, I’m working at a fraction of what I’m used to working at and delivering.

Its a complex industry but it’s one, just one that I need to learn.
I can do it. I can do it. I CAN DO IT!!!

The reason I say to check everything is that health is like a jigsaw & the hrt is only one piece, so it's easy to think get that & it'll be ok.

With flooding, I'd definitely think iron issues too, as I said above. But don't just supplement without knowing the actual numbers.

I'm feeling a lot better, you don't realise how debilitating these things are, I got very slow. I couldn't even contemplate employment, never mind a dream job. Pat on the back, well done! 😁

Thanks so much.
I do take iron and multivits as I donate blood regularly too.

I was happily donating blood too, wasn't anaemic. It's the ranges you need to know, both thyroid & ferritin.

Totally recommend hrt too. 😁

If they say you are doing well believe them!!!

get hrt, take a holiday and maybe lose the perfectionist streak!

Sounds like you are being your harshest critic. You can do it and you are doing it. They'd have extended your probationary period or got rid of you by now if they weren't happy with your performance.

I suspect I'm starting to get a touch of peri meno symptoms - brain fog and anxiety. So I do sympathise and understand why you feel as you do.

Please go and see the doctor and most importantly remind yourself you've got this 💐

A career coach might be useful.

Not because I think you are actually doing badly - but they can help you manage things and feel that you are in control. CBT can also be useful to manage your thinking.