What makes a house feel like a home?

[SausageGuzzlingLabradors]

I’ve been thinking about this today. Today I visited a lovely friend’s house. It’s a beautiful, spacious interior designed country pile many people would aspire to (it’s sometimes in magazines) but it just didn’t feel like a home. It was almost too perfect and felt lacking in energy. Then I dropped a pair of kids wellies into another friend. Her house is an unremarkable 1960’s semi and is far from ‘perfect’ but always feels so welcoming and homely. I could spend hours on her sofa, staring into the (1980’s gas effect) fire.

What do you think it is that makes a house a home? Is it certain items? A way of living? Or ( this sounds a bit woo) is it something to do with the feelings or relationships in the house?

Ew a cat would gross me out and certainly not make me feel "at home". A good sofa and personable touches.

For me it's signs of life and love. I like a house with evidence of life - plants growing on windowsills, cats or dogs snoozing on rugs, shelves of books, maybe a bit of a craft project on the go or muddy boots from walks or football games etc.
I like a bit of mood setting too - lamplight or candles, fresh flowers, photos or artwork, throws on the sofa, a log fire etc.
It's good if it's clean and smells fresh, maybe with s lovely small of home cooking in the background. but not so tidy that you are scared to sit down in case the owners twitch that you've dented their cushions.

I was talking about the same thing with my teen DD today. She described her future house like your post. I don't like the sterile silver mirrored interiors.

My parents home is very very chic. In a country known for its design and interior. It has won awards. It feels like a prison, I can't breathe there. I love my mother in law's house. Small 30s semi. Always warm. Always smells of food. Always people coming and going, talking loudly. Phones ringing all the time. Kids running around and going from lap to lap of endless stream of relatives. Its home for me. Its family and the one place I feel everything will be ok.

I love all my friends homes. I live in London and habe friends in 2m houses (I could only dream) and I habe friends in high rise council flats. For me their homes represents safety and belonging. They are my people and I am so grateful they open up their homes to me and my family. That my boys belong. I'm realising now that my despite my designer obsessed heritage/culture I actually have no idea what those home look like. I only know what they feel like.

For me it's plants, lamps and art on the walls.

Warmth - physical and emotional.

It's the energy in the house.

Mess. Not dirty, but lived in - Washing drying, or folded on the table ready to take upstairs, letters on the coffee table, an ongoing craft project in one corner 😄

Evidence of food having been cooked at some point, washing machine on. I'm very washing oriented, clearly 😆

Cats

And books

My cats

I now what you mean. MIL lives in a very smart part of London. When I wander about ( snooping in the windows) some of the houses are deeply luxurious, clearly professionally designed but utterly soulless. Her home is the antithesis of this. Her townhouse, bought in 1980, is full of art work ( of varying quality), cards from friends, inherited furniture, a lodger’s bike in the hall, the smell of logs burning, a posy from the garden on the table. It feels like I’m on the set of Paddington and I love it.

Lighting and soft colours. Most of us will have parents and grandparents who live in homes that fashion forgot many decades ago, but that are effortlessly homely and that make your shoulders drop just by walking in the door.

As a seventies kid, I do love the current soft greens, macrame plant pot and bookshelves look as it's what I grew up with and what my family still have.

A cat, books, candles, plants, comfy bed and cushions, nice rugs.

I think a house that is planned out/designed with military precision are soulless. My house is often described as very easy to relax in and homely. I never follow "in" colour schemes and often find a very unique focal point in places like tk Maxx and then work up from there. I've got pink glittery peacock wallpaper, lime green walls and navy sofas. I've got a big faux taxidermy zebra head and some really funky /unusual trinkets dotted around and lots of books and house plants. My kitchen is radpberry pink and decorated in a day of the dead theme. It's absolutely NOT for everybody, I don't know anybody else that would want this in their own house but people seem love coming to visit, kicking their shoes off and getting comfy on the couches etc. I've had so many compliments, even if I share a pic of something on fb petite always ask about where I got this/that etc. My house is definitely not hun grey

Warm both in temp and looks. Natural woods, some personal bits around, blankets nice smells.
Nothing grey, no grey walls, floors or sofas. No glass or mirrored coffee tables of furniture. Candles and nice lights, heavy curtains.

Had a friend of many years who was fastidious about her house. Just so cushions, a coffee table with the 'right' magazines on it, lovely art work on the walls, the house was painted/decorated in the right colours and tones. Everything was so lovely and all was perfect, like in a magazine.

It was truly the coldest house I'd ever been in. Even sitting on one of her sofas was arduous.
When you got up to leave, she immediately plumped up the cushions.
In the fifteen or so years that we were friends, I never ate anything other than a bun or a simple cake.
Every time I went to her house, there would be new throws ( never used only draped over an arm of a sofa) new pictures, new ornaments, new cushions, a differently painted room, new accessories.
She hated my house as I had toys on open shelves (😵) the same furnishings , and furniture and a ( her words) drab carpet that ( her words) sucked the joy out of our living room.

Love my home and she's no longer a friend! 😉

Love lived in, hate sterile

Love. And when everyone was into "Love" "Laughter" Live on the walls a metaphorical "Fuck" above the bed.

Personal style over curated shite.

Lots of plants
Lots of books
Lots of art
Furniture which has been accumulated rather than all matching.
Interesting signs of what the owners are actually like and what they do. This could be crafts, artefacts, photos.
Clean but not too tidy.

I visit a house fairly regularly and although it has clearly had a fortune spent on it, there are no signs of what the owner is like. Not even any family photos.

I have a lot of grey but also colour, textures, things to look at
I like feeling you can pick stuff up to look at it and not be terrified of breaking something! Interesting books, art, trophies, puzzles, whatever
Patchwork quilts, handmade stuff
Feeling that it's a loved home rather than a house

I think it’s some of the biggest more expensive houses I’ve been into that don’t feel like homes. They just feel too big to be residential and instead have the feel of a conference centre or a an odd hotel.

Someone I know has a massive house with a huge double height living room. The room always feel really sterile and cold to me rather than warm and welcoming, and just not the kind of place you live day to day.

Definitely the people that live in it.
my DF home is a tiny one bed flat for her and her three children. It is so welcoming. You go in and her positive lovely energy makes it such a warm cosy home. I don’t notice the decor or whether she has washed the pots. It is a lovely home with a fantastic feel about it.

@ShirleyPhallus Your second point contradicts the first I am so glad you were brave enough to say this! I've never been in a house with cats that doesn't smell. I've also never known someone who owns a cat who doesn't say her cat doesn't smell. Nose-blindness is a real thing.