Third meltdown of the night

[Somuchgoo]

I'm not after advice, just an exhausted moan.

She's 3.5 and at the tail end of a fluey bug
I'm bang in the middle of the same bug and feel absolutely rubbish.

She's been in bed with me since 8pm. I ate my dinner in the dark with her lying next to me.

Night terror (or something similar) at midnight . That passed but but she hasn't gone back to sleep yet.

She then started screaming at me that she didn't want me touching her cuddly toy. I am NOT touching it. That's not stopping her from screaming about it.

That passed and now she's screaming that she wants to be alone. She won't go back to her bed, but she wants me to leave my bed. My husband is already on the sofa* as evicted by her, there is nowhere else for me to sleep (her bed is a toddler bed), and she'd start crying for me anyway.

I'm aching.
My eyeballs hurt.
I'm shivering

She's still screaming. I'm not angry with her, but I am so tired.

This kid had been to hell and back this last year. Huge brain surgery, smaller brain surgery, 3x back surgery, meningitis, just to name a few. She's still got the remains of a brain tumour that we have to monitor (shouldn't kill her but who knows what long term effect it'll have)

Since that she's had huge meltdowns.

No one else is awake, and I feel the need to write this down l. I know it'll pass eventually

*He'd be more than willing to swap with me, but 3 year old has huge separation anxiety from me.

OP, I have no advice, but you sound amazing for being so patient and understanding with her when you’re ill.

Would some calming music work? Or telling her that you need a cuddle so she can calm down a bit?

Christ you've all been through hell and back. That's extremely stressful.
Not a patch on you, but I had a very very fractious (sp) baby, which lasted until he was approx 2.5 yrs old. I still feel I didn't sleep during that time and sleep deprivation is horrendous and a form of torture. Fact.
This too shall pass. It will, I promise. I've now got an ok 12 yr old.
Massive hug and solidarity 🌸

White noise might help. Rain rain app is great

for you both, what a year. Do you think she's worried that as she's poorly she'll have to go back to the hospital?

My little boy is prone to a midnight tantrum, he is autistic though. I keep it really simple with him. "No, we don't kick mammy" and move his legs. "No, that hurts mammy" and move away. It is utterly grim when he's like that though, it is very rare.

I think I'd just keep saying "mammy is staying in bed to sleep". Rinse and repeat. I have developed the patience of a saint and deserve to be knighted

Oh that's a rubbish night OP. Wi hope you're all on the mend soon and LO is okay.

Meltdowns after waking are so hard. It doesn't help in the height of moment but i usually go the quilt on the sofa & Disney film route to try and distract them from feeling ill/ emotional. That's what I'm doing now in fact.

That sounds hard. My DD has started having the odd midnight tantrum, she wakes up straight into them, I think triggered by dreams - so it's always about something random (last was wanting to go to the park) - not night terrors, because we've had those too, she's definitely awake. What I have found works is reading her a story - I think it helps get her emotions under control to really engage her reasonable side like that. When this doesn't work is if the tantrum happens from about 4.30am, as it wakes her up too much, and I've been reading by the night light, which is probably terrible for my eyeballs, but whatever works!

Can I just send you a massive hug and tell you you're a fucking hero?

Your DD is so lucky to have you as her mum!

Hang on there, beautiful, strong woman. It may not look like that to you, but you got this.

I don't think the normal sleep training advice applies here, you've all been through enough already! Maybe get a full-size single for DDs room so that everyone has a bed to sleep on. Massive hugs to you all. As others have said, both you and DD sound amazingly strong and resilient. Wishing you a peaceful night tonight!

Thanks for the support. She finally conked out some time just after 3. She woke up screaming again about 9, and then on and off screamed until about 11.

I'm assuming that the sudden spate of them is because she's still feeling under the weather. When she gets like that, she can't be distracted at all - and she screams louder when I try. We just have you wait it out. Sometimes it's taken 10 minutes. Other times several hours.

I don't think she's worried about having to go back to the hospital specifically - they checked her out earlier in the week , but she's had quite a few admissions for bugs in the past 🤷‍♀️
We are trying to arrange some play therapy to help her deal with some of her trauma.

Normally I can deal with all this stuff ok. It's rubbish, but of the brain tumours to get, its a good one. This plus the flu though makes me feel like I've hit a wall.

My parents are going to have her tonight so I can rest. I'm quite nervous about it, but need the break.