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Is this a form of abuse?

4 replies

Spaghettiloops · 01/12/2022 22:05

Hi I just wanted people's
thoughts.
So my daughter
was in a dv relationship
a couple of years ago tjat done with but incase it's relevant.

She met another guy very
soon after.
He's not a bad person.
Well at least
i don't think 🤔
he has autism again incase relevant.

He does not live with my daughter
but is there alot.
He has baths
there. Eats there.
Snacks
drinks etc.
He has his own money but can't manage it well it just gos of crap pretty fast . Although he might give my daughter
the (odd) 5 or 10 pounds
or pay for something
he put in the food shopping basket.
But he's costing her much more than he's actually
giving. I have told her over , and she needs to tell him that she can't afford
to do it .

She now can't afford to get her child to school. I can easily
put money into her account. But part of Me thinks I'm kind of enabling him to ponce of her and not giving her a reason to put her foot down .

I sent him a message and said you need to start giving her money towards
gas electricity food . She can't
afford to keep you .
He's now got the hump.
So he's happy to keep taking from her but not happy to pay his way.

So is this a worrying relationship?

Sorry if it's a bit of a ramble I'm just a bit
frustrated.

OP posts:
Yahyahs22 · 01/12/2022 22:09

Doesn't sound like abuse just from this information but it does sound like they need a conversation about how much she's spending on him, especially if it's preventing her from getting her child to school.
Personally I don't think you should be getting involved and messaging him though, that won't end well.

Goawayangryman · 01/12/2022 22:11

We'll definitely you aren't BU..

I agree you shouldn't financially sub him.

Why is she shacking up with such horrible people?

Spaghettiloops · 01/12/2022 22:27

Yahyahs22 · 01/12/2022 22:09

Doesn't sound like abuse just from this information but it does sound like they need a conversation about how much she's spending on him, especially if it's preventing her from getting her child to school.
Personally I don't think you should be getting involved and messaging him though, that won't end well.

Yeah I get that about me sending a message. But im so sick of it. And I thought maybe someone else needs to say it.

Shes tried to talk to him but he replies with things like. But when I get my money you already have money if you did not have money at that time I would take part.

OP posts:
ChocHotolate · 01/12/2022 22:36

I would also worry about your daughter's ability to put safe boundaries around herself and her child. How long has she been with this man that he is already so entwined in her (and presumably her child's) life? If her child can't get to school because of his presence I would suggest this is a red flag that your daughter may not be making the best decisions

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