Baby sleep and compulsive eating

[Faradalla]

I have a 10 month old baby. When she was very small, she wasn't gaining weight well and so I got into the habit of feeding her as often as I could. Now she can't fall asleep without being on the breast. She eats solid food well, loves her grub but is still breastfeeding a lot.

She sleeps terribly. She sometimes wakes every hour, or every 20 minutes, sometimes stretches to 2 hours and 3 if I'm very lucky. She will go back to sleep after about 10 or 15 minutes on the breast. I give in because I'm exhausted and because her crying wakes my other 2 children up.

I tried to get her into a predictable routine. It worked for a while but that initial sleep at 7pm only lasted 20 minutes and she would be back up again, bright eyed and bushy tailed.

Her naps during the day are totally erratic and unpredictable due to me breastfeeding her to sleep. Some days she just has mini naps all day Nd then won't sleep at night.

I am properly on duty all day and all night and I'm so fed up. My husband works hard and does a lot with the other kids so the baby is seen as my job as I'm on maternity leave. He gives me a break when he can.

In the evening, Im raiding the cupboard for sweets in a stress response even though I'm trying to lose weight. I've started feeling dizzy and sick during the day, and at night when she is waking me up over and over, I imagine putting my shoes and coat on and just walking out the door into the night.

Tonight I binge ate 3 bars of chocolate in a row just for some kind of stress relief as it's never ending. I'm so tired of always being on call. At the weekends my husband takes the baby to let me rest but he isn't able to help out too much during the week.

I live abroad and have no family support at all. I'm feeling so resigned to another awful night of terrible sleep, and now also have the added annoyance at myself at more compulsive eating when I can't get a grip on weight.

I'm not thinking straight and feel so, so worn out. It's just never ending. I've no idea how to night wean and feel quite lost.

Please help. Even a hand hold would be nice.
Thanks.

Thank you for this! Would you might telling me how much it cost? Last night was another awful night. I don't think 2 hours passed without being woken.

It cost about £250, though I think she's put her prices up a bit since then. This is the lady we used, though there are cheaper options out there too www.familysleeppractice.com/services

Alternatively you could get the Ferber book, and DIY. I've had a few friends who did it that way and said it worked very well for them. It is essentially the same thing. I was just so so tired and panicked by that stage that I needed someone external to take over and hold my hand. If I'd been slightly more myself I think I'd have coped with the book alone just fine.

I feel your pain. We had one child that wouldn't sleep at all well after two who were great at sleeping, and so we didn't know what to do with ourselves! And the exhaustion does lead to over eating it just feels like there have to be some pleasures in life as a reward for the exhaustion, and food (sugar) is the obvious one. In the long run, it does make the exhaustion worse, though.

I EBFd too and absolutely fed on demand when they were small, despite my MiL telling me that they should be lasting four hours. That's just nonsense. But, as they got older, we were able to stretch the feeds out more, as their stomachs were bigger and could hold more food. So, you've given your baby a great start by feeding on demand, but you can now move into a different phase, where you can feed in other ways as well, and not let your baby be as dependent on you. And feel ok about that!

For what it's worth, what worked for us with the sleep at that age was to make naps earlier. So, awake at 7am, breast feed, solid breakfast. And then, although it seems ridiculously early, then a nap around 9am. There is a natural sleep window two - hours after waking up. Weird, but true. Wake the baby up after 30 minutes don't let them sleep all morning! Drink of water in a cup, with a small snack. Then a big lunch at around 12-12.30, followed by another feed if needed (though likely to have grown out of this one, but may still want one for comfort) and then sleep for around 2 hours. Whatever you do, don't let them sleep later than 3pm! Feed at 2.30/3pm if you haven't fed before the nap. Then tea at about 5.30, bath, bedtime routine (story, songs, whatever, in a quiet, darkened room), feed, then bed for 7pm. For now, if you feel you need to, feed again at 11 as you go to bed a dream feed, where they don't even really wake up. Though you can drop this when they are eating more solids. And then hope they sleep through until 6 or 7 ish.

By a year to 15 months, you can drop the morning nap and have a single nap about 12 noon -- but again, no later than 3pm!

If you're driving home from afternoon activities, beware the late afternoon 10 minute cat nap. This is what stops a baby going to sleep in the evening. We used to sing nursery rhymes at the top of our voices to keep them awake! (We used to joke that every five mins' sleep after 3pm made for an hour's less sleep at night!)

I agree with a previous poster, over time get used to not letting the baby fall asleep while feeding, but put into cot while sleepy but awake. You do have to persist with lots of love and kindness and reassurance from you or Dad but be gently clear in your own minds that the baby has had enough to eat and won't starve in the night.

Hope that helps. Mine are teenagers now and I can't get them up in the mornings. xx

Sorry about the underlining -- that was not intended!