5 year old acts like he's being tortured at swimming lessons

[Ialwayswannasometimes]

He doesn't like his head in the water at all, he's been doing swimming lessons for about 3 months now and he basically just gets carried back and forth by the instructor whilst using all his energy concentrating entirely on making sure he doesn't get splashed at all,
he won't go swimming for fun etc he even hated it as a baby- and baths are almost just as dramatic when I need to wash his hair.
has anyones child hated it as much and eventually learned to swim? I'm so worried he'll never get it but I'd really like him to be able to swim from a safety perspective
He does try his best but he just really can't stand being splashed or getting wet which is obviously quite unavoidable when swimming

surly because he's so young he can wait a year i know you said you live near a river but even the most strongest of swimmers at that age won't be able to fight against a current, i think you should take him out, it's not doing anything

DS was like this. Hated water anywhere near his head and face. Hair washing was a complete nightmare. Was generally okay with swimming pools and splash parks, just refused to get face/hair wet.

Swimming is non-negotiable, and he started group lessons in reception. Teacher was great and never forced going under water, dunking etc. We turned up every week and slowly but surely he got there in baby steps. Peer pressure helped - seeing his buddies from swimming group get moved up did concentrate the mind, as did school swimming.

Covid didn't help as his lessons were disrupted but he's now on the way to being a competent swimmer (y3).

Oh wow, I would take him out for sure. I know you said about local drownings but as he can’t swim he won’t be around the water in order to get in that situation? Is he your eldest? I only ask because I’d suggest waiting until he can fully understand WHY the need to learn to swim and that the benefits will be worth the misery. I’d say my 7 year old can grasp that now. Or have you tried 1:1 classes? Might be an idea.

But OP’s kid is in reception (or year 1?), has tried it for 3 months and isn’t happy still so…… your post is about your kid not hers?

DS6 is a bit like this. He had three years of swimming and was managing well until it came to moving into a group where they don’t use floats. His anxiety levels went through the roof and after trying to help him persevere for a while, the instructor recommended we stop as we would create a water phobia if we continued. They recommended we restart when he is a bit older, which we will do. I really would consider stopping for a while if I were you

For my DD, 3 months was nowhere near enough time for her to feel comfortable in the pool. Like PP said, every lesson was a baby step in the right direction and it took her a year to put her ears in the water and longer for her face.

I don't belive she would be putting her face in the pool now if she hadn't gone swimming with some of her friends. It allowed her to lower her guard and actually have fun in the water for the first time ever. It was like watching a different child as she willingly jumped in and went under the water.

Having said that you've said it's like your son is being tortured, which is obviously quite severe. DD wouldn't cry before lessons or anything so we carried on despite her not literally and figuratively throwing herself in for a long time.

My daughter was like this at 5. I'm the end it was just impossible to get her to do swimming lessons. She's now 12, an excellent swimmer and doing competitive swimming. I'd say leave it for a couple of years then try again.