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Work Christmas do- so many drop outs! Never organising again!

61 replies

NameChangeLifeChange · 01/12/2022 11:20

Just that really. It's tomorrow. Booked for 30 originally, 30 people up for it and put names down. By 2 weeks ago with deposit and food choices due we were down to 16 (inevitable some drop outs and times are tough). Today (so far...)we are down to 12.
I feel really bad for the venue as they're down over half the amount of people expected. Late drop outs will pay the full amount for their meal but obviously less spent on booze etc.
Also just stress and faff etc when not needed. Aaargh just come if you say you will or don't agree in the first place!
I'm worried more will drop out and we will end up a piddly group of 4 with the venue owners looking at us furiously Sad
Rant over. NEVER AGAIN!

OP posts:
LadyOfTheCanyon · 01/12/2022 16:22

Yep never again - trying to find something/ somewhere that everyone was happy with, agreed on the food, price, date etc etc.... liaising with management so that budgets were met and all the gluten free/ lactose intolerant people were taken care of... people who wouldnt dream of putting in the effort to organise it themselves complaining bitterly about every single fucking aspect of it as infinitum and then not bloody coming anyway.

I stopped doing it. And then got it in the neck when there was no Christmas party to go to.

Fuck 'em.

LadyOfTheCanyon · 01/12/2022 16:23

*ad infinitum

Redlocks28 · 01/12/2022 16:25

Annie232 · 01/12/2022 13:35

Why isn’t the workplace paying for the Christmas party?

I’m a teacher. Which budget would you like our work Christmas do to come out of?

ForestofD · 01/12/2022 16:38

I'm afraid it's common. As a business, where I work, we now charge full price for no-shows- the food still sitting there and we have held that seat for someone to dine when we could have sold it.

We re-iterate this many, many times during the booking process because we know it usually happens. This is for companies who are usually paying for everything, including drinks.

Ceebeegee · 01/12/2022 16:39

Not just work Christmas parties, I've got a kids party with only 7 out of 32 rsvp'd.

notacooldad · 01/12/2022 16:42

Why isn’t the workplace paying for the Christmas party?
Why should they. I've never been to a work paid one in 40 years of working for the same employer ( but in many different departments)

Oblomov22 · 01/12/2022 16:44

This jacks me off. Why say yes if you aren't sure? Then there's bound to be a few sick last minute, but if loads are cancelling then that's just flakiness. Angry

greenhousegal · 01/12/2022 16:47

Work dos are the most painful, boring, and unnecessary things about Christmas. I hated them when I was working (retired early), and if you scratch the surface most people also dislike them but go out of a sense of duty or loyalty or something, but would much rather bail out.

We work with these people all year round, and the chances of having to sit next to THE MOST BORING, ARROGANT PRICK in the company are quite high too.

In my final Christmas at work a "canteen" do was held. All paid for + booze. Hilarious night and very few bailed out. Was easy to just get up the stairs to the lunch room and get sozzled. No fuss just fun.

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe · 01/12/2022 16:48

I really think that given a choice - with no strings either way - most people would boycott these things altogether.

I have a Christmas do in a couple of weeks. Only hospitalisation or death will get you out of it. It's funded by the company so presentation in the morning and 'fun all afternoon'. I've had many private tantrums about it because I do not want to go to this, ever. But I can't get out of it.

I'm envious of the pay-for-yourself events because you can just politely say no thanks. More people should do this and save the organiser weeks of hell.

thecatsthecats · 01/12/2022 16:52

Oblomov22 · 01/12/2022 16:44

This jacks me off. Why say yes if you aren't sure? Then there's bound to be a few sick last minute, but if loads are cancelling then that's just flakiness. Angry

Well, I agree when it comes to parties in general, but I think that it's a pretty loaded invite.

I had a manager beg me to say yes to help dilute the awkward squad/cliques in the team.

When considered objectively, away from the emotional manipulation, I was able to change my mind.

If she didn't want me to change my mind, she shouldn't have manipulated me into a yes in the first place.

Pineconederby · 01/12/2022 16:52

Our work has always paid for Xmas lunch out. Maybe £30 each at most. Told earlier in the week they won’t pay this year. As we’ve paid a deposit, now having to find the funds myself. As a PP says, herd mentality/shame means I can’t say no. I’d rather spend that £30 on my kids or heating!

MintJulia · 01/12/2022 16:56

Old work place - evening do (requiring a £50 baby sitter)
In London, so drive to train station, then train into town. - which means I can't drink.
The organiser spent the budget on a trendy venue but no food.

I didn't go because it would have been £120 to have an orange juice, go hungry and then go home.

Current employer - team lunch plus an hour's ice skating before going home at normal time.

So fun, food, no need for a baby sitter and no extra cost. I'm looking forward to it. 😊

AltheaVestr1t · 01/12/2022 16:57

I'm flaking on my work Christmas do as we speak! I do have Covid though, so hopefully that's allowed.

SparkyBlue · 01/12/2022 16:57

I get it OP. Organising the Christmas party is the most thankless stress filled thing ever imaginable. I did it for several years and never ever again. That being said it's much better when the annual night out is in February or summer or whatever I think Christmas is just a horrible time to go out with a work group.

IglesiasPiggl · 01/12/2022 17:04

My work have stopped doing a Christmas do, we just go out for a drink one evening before we close for Christmas, and they give everyone a £100 voucher of their choice. I love it!

lovelypidgeon · 01/12/2022 17:10

When I last worked in an office it was pretty clear that there were many people who simply didn't want to go to the Xmas party but anyone who decline the invitation up-front had to put up with constant attempts to 'persuade' them to go, expected to explain exactly why they didn't want to go and moaned about. Work paid for food and it was always a long drawn out evening starting with drinks/canapes at about 7.30pm and dinner at about 9pm (not finishing until about 11pm once everyone had been served 3 courses). Sounds OK but this meant spending £££ on drinks (always an expensive place), buying a suitable outfit, either staying sober or paying £££ for taxis etc and spending all of Friday night away from family at a time when most of us were already working long hours. So I know that many people agreed to go initially to avoid being nagged about it but then if a half way acceptable excuse presented itself they would cancel.

I do feel for the people (usually women in underpaid roles) who had the hassle of trying to organise these events though.

ZeldaWillTellYourFortune · 01/12/2022 17:16

After-hours parties at this time of year are difficult for people to manage. Works parties should be at the workplace during the afternoon (no booze obvs) -- a couple of hours of eating, mingling, festive music, etc.

Using up people's personal time for a work-related event isn't doing them much of a favour.

theleafandnotthetree · 01/12/2022 17:26

ZeldaWillTellYourFortune · 01/12/2022 17:16

After-hours parties at this time of year are difficult for people to manage. Works parties should be at the workplace during the afternoon (no booze obvs) -- a couple of hours of eating, mingling, festive music, etc.

Using up people's personal time for a work-related event isn't doing them much of a favour.

I really don't think one evening A YEAR is a massive infringement of peoples precious personal time. I really do worry about what an atomised disconnected society we have become that people won't just break bread and have a few drinks with other people. Some of them might even be nice! It might be crap, it might be a huge amount of fun but either way it's hardly much to contribute to the general web of human connection.

HazeyjaneIII · 01/12/2022 17:29

Its horrible to have to drop out though.
I've had to drop out of my work do tomorrow. I was gutted...my first night out for a bloody age, first works do with this job, and I've paid for my meal so don't think I'll get it back.
Unfortunately I've been in hospital with my ds who had Covid, and now I have Covid...so I'm not sure how I could have avoided missing it!!

greenhousegal · 01/12/2022 17:40

theleafandnotthetree · 01/12/2022 17:26

I really don't think one evening A YEAR is a massive infringement of peoples precious personal time. I really do worry about what an atomised disconnected society we have become that people won't just break bread and have a few drinks with other people. Some of them might even be nice! It might be crap, it might be a huge amount of fun but either way it's hardly much to contribute to the general web of human connection.

That's fine if it doesn't involve new clobber, taxis, transport costs, babysitting fees, sobriety (lol), a food and drinks budget, and the horror of mingling with your nemesis and having to pay to mingle with him/her.

You can break bread any day of the year with your colleagues. I agree that a gathering on the work premises is best. Easy to get to, financially ok, and easy to escape from - a trip to the loo, picking up your coat in reception well away from the party, face shown, job done!

theleafandnotthetree · 01/12/2022 17:40

The flakiness around social arrangements in general has really increased. I'm in a book club and I think we've nearly given up on it. Even if we manage to find a night which suits most, inevitably the few days before the 'sorrys!' start. I'm a lone parent who works full time, who has often had to pay a babysitter to go to it, it's very disspiriting when people bail for what are frankly very flimsy reasons. I really feel for restaurants and bars who actually lose money because of this.

Nchangeagain · 01/12/2022 17:41

Doesn't happen just because people have to pay. My dh's firm pay for it all (food and drinks all night) costs them £1000s, but people still drop out last minute or don't want to go in the 1st place.
I agree that flakiness has become much worse. People are much more unreliable in general anyway nowadays.

theleafandnotthetree · 01/12/2022 17:46

Nchangeagain · 01/12/2022 17:41

Doesn't happen just because people have to pay. My dh's firm pay for it all (food and drinks all night) costs them £1000s, but people still drop out last minute or don't want to go in the 1st place.
I agree that flakiness has become much worse. People are much more unreliable in general anyway nowadays.

Unreliable and much less fun! Yes I know times are tough etc. But times are always tough! There are always things to worry about but sometimes all the more reason to bloody grab a bit of enjoyment while we can. I am baffled that people - especially younger people - could turn down the opportunity for a paid-for knees up, as many have noted here. What's the worse that could happen? Don't answer that 🤣

catmum88 · 01/12/2022 18:07

I think there has been an increase in flakiness since the pandemic. I used to be super reliable and up for anything, I now find myself not being bothered to go places when it comes to it (although I do still force myself), especially work things. As PP have said, a lunch is likely to be better for attendance and is also inclusive of everyone.

justasking111 · 01/12/2022 18:17

It should be a lunch do where possible these days. People just aren't going out at night. We went out with friends last week 6pm the restaurant was busy. By 8pm we were the only ones left. Last month went to the cinema. Out by 8pm decided to go to our local pub/restaurant for a drink and a natter. They called last orders at 8.45pm

Many places closed in the evening Sunday to Wednesday