Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

Well meant presents that are not suitable

39 replies

ChangedmynameagainforChristmas · 30/11/2022 15:08

Does this happen to you?

I love my family. They are precious to me. My life is all about them. I look after grandchildren and spend lots of time with them all. Its what I do.
When it comes to Christmas presents I drop hints about what I like. They all know my favourite perfume which ran out last year and despite me saying so they bought things which were lovely but not what I wanted or needed such as the perfume but not my fave.. or very expensive purse to go with my handbag which is too big to fit inside or the beauty products that are unsuitable and so have not been used.

I know it sounds ungrateful.. it's not meant to be. I like Florentines, a cosy dressing gown and/or slippers. I love cherries in kirsch. I love a good candle. I am not materialstic at all. I drop the hints and they go by the board. I graciously accept the presents of course :)

OP posts:
PorridgewithQuark · 01/12/2022 08:47

My mum used to do this - she'd ask what the kids wanted, I'd tell her, she'd buy something similar, often more expensive, and unusable by a child the age she was giving it to (often having chosen it for a very off the wall feature completely irrelevant to children - for example a tiny fiddly, fragile digital camera chosen for an anti tremor function instead of the much, much cheaper robust, simple, clunky one we'd asked for as a present for our then four year old). We couldn't let the child it was given to use it without a parent literally holding it with them, and ended up buying the suitable camera we'd originally chosen for their birthday ourselves).

She did it when we replied to her about what the kids wanted in general terms and still did it when we told her specific make and model and retailer, and still did it when we actually sent links to buy online.

Postage costs have increased so we buy the children presents from her now and she sends money (far less than she used to actually spend, but now it isn't wasted).

She always chose a "better" product than the one asked for, and it would have often been better if she'd been buying for herself, but she always chose something either disappointing or completely unsuitable for the actual recipient.

Hinting is annoying though - I'll never forget the Christmas my mother dropped apparently massive hints about wanting a mini orange tree when I was 9, I saved up weeks and weeks of pocket money and asked my dad to take me to buy one - he agreed that she had been dropping hints drove me, which was rare for him as he wasn't a very present father... then the day after I bought the tree my mum came home from work with two mini orange trees which she'd bought herself on a whim on her lunch break 🤨 She was completely non plussed when I still gave her mine for Christmas as she already had two, and denied hinting (I had spent more on her present than anyone else and didn't have anything left for a second present).

ILIWYS · 01/12/2022 09:27

I write a Christmas list every year and encourage all family members to do the same. Job done

LeafHunter · 01/12/2022 09:32

Write a list and share it with them. “Hi everyone, I’ve been thinking about Christmas and these are some of the things I’d really like. Most are available at Amazon/mands/next/selfridges. If they’re out of stock for Christmas I’d love them for my birthday instead. If anyone else has a list of things they’d like then please share!”

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about this subject:

caroleanboneparte · 01/12/2022 09:33

I buy my own presents.

I'm fed up of a spoiled Christmas with presents I dont want and nothing that I do.

Badger1970 · 01/12/2022 09:43

We've got a family whatsapp and at the beginning of November, everyone posts a short list of things that they'd like/need for Christmas. DH is heavily supervised and has bought me a bottle of Creed perfume this year - after too many "wtf" moments, he's never allowed to think for himself again when it comes to gifts. He now understands that buying your DW a fish tank for the kitchen isn't a good gift especially when your DW is phobic about them, no matter how pretty the lights are. That was a "garden centre at 4pm on Christmas Eve" shopping trip. He's never lived it down, and neither should he!

winteryblues · 01/12/2022 09:44

@RhubarbStrawberry A sock, have you only got one leg 🤣🤣
Sorry, I've been up all night sick and very sad over something and that made me really laugh, thank you. 🤣 may be even funnier if the op responds 'yes, I have'

TroysMammy · 01/12/2022 09:59

Every year I ask my DM what she would like for Christmas and every year she infuriatingly says "peace and quiet". Now she's added on "no gadgets". She's not a perfume, make up or fancy scarf wearer. She's not a meal out, theatre goer, days out, experiences type of person. I very much doubt she'd want an electric throw as she has a fear of things like this since my Uncle was "thrown across the room by fairy lights" (he was fiddling with them when they were plugged in Christmas 1976). I just wish she'd bloody tell us.

ChangedmynameagainforChristmas · 01/12/2022 11:55

@winteryblues · Today 09:44
@RhubarbStrawberry A sock, have you only got one leg 🤣🤣
Sorry, I've been up all night sick and very sad over something and that made me really laugh, thank you. 🤣 may be even funnier if the op responds 'yes, I have'

Last time I looked I had just the two :)

OP posts:
CaramelizedNuts · 01/12/2022 12:23

I hate hints in any context. So see through and makes me irrationally need to do the opposite.

I'm not normal though 😃

Also second buying your own gifts

TortugaRumCakeQueen · 01/12/2022 12:54

I've had some very questionable presents over the years. My Mum got me trainers that had a USB port for charging, and you could light the soles up! All you could see at night, when I was on the village green, were two disc type lights floating around, like some ghost feet. On the plus side, I could point my foot at where the dog shat, and see clearly to pick it up!

ChangedmynameagainforChristmas · 02/12/2022 13:35

@TroysMammy
'she has a fear of things like this since my Uncle was "thrown across the room by fairy lights'

That made me laugh

OP posts:
ChangedmynameagainforChristmas · 02/12/2022 13:38

Anyway I have now done the deed. I sent a text to one of my children and asked them to pass the message on so hopefully I will be up to my neck in Florentines this year and bloody looking forward to it.. and candles.

All I need now is some matches💡

OP posts:
Ilovedthe70s · 02/12/2022 13:57

I have an Amazon wish list, I add all through the year, my daughter forwards it to the few people who wish to buy me a gift.
They know exactly what I need and have the option to buy from Amazon or source from elsewhere if they prefer.

LovedFedAndNoonesDead · 02/12/2022 18:04

I have an Amazon wish list and would happily send it to anyone who were to ask. There are plenty of things for less than £10 up to £50-60 (aimed at DH) so people can shop to their budget. What I get are things that aren’t me at all - clothes or jewellery I wouldn’t wear, stuff for the house or stuff that’s actually for the children not me.

When I do get things I love (like a really nice bottle of gin) or a nice box of chocolates, my DH seems to think it’s a joint gift that gets brought out if we’re both around whereas his bottle of spirits is just for him and is hidden away until he is on his own!!

New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Swipe left for the next trending thread