Work expecting so much with less and less resource

[workistoomuch]

I've been at my job almost two years and they have been the best two years of my career,
I've really enjoyed them and love the work I do.

However, since I started, work have piled more and more on to me, my job has pretty much doubled from what it was when I started and I can not keep up. I've done all the usual...counting what I have to do, explaining how many hours it will take and how many hours I have etc. I get sympathy but no solutions. We are in a hiring freeze and team members who leave are not being replaced. I recently heard that our team used to be so much bigger even though the business was smaller and I find that so frustrating. The expectations just seem insane.

I just can't carry on and I don't know what to do. My colleagues and managers all think I'm a super organised person who gets stuff done but
I'm getting more and more behind and right now. I get so many emails, chats, requests for help, hr issues to sort etc. I just want to nap and cry.

Writing this out I know the simple answer is to leave but I don't even think I have the energy to start somewhere new right now.

Why do companies expect people to wear so many hats and be so many things?! 😭

You have to start letting balls drop. It's the only way. It's uncomfortable, but it works.

Start saying "no, I can't". Or ignoring stuff. Or saying "if you want me to do Y, I'm dropping X". There are only so many hours in the day, and you only have two hands. Those are both immutable facts. Don't do what can't be done, and say so.

I have this tendency too - and then I flip out

Astronewt is right - the only way to get it through to people is say no, and be direct. It does work

It can be hard to do, especially if you are agreeable ( see here for description] and conscientious [[https://www.thomas.co/resources/type/hr-blog/conscientiousness-personality-trait see here

You have to actually learn assertiveness if you have these traits - do a personality test (Big 5 or OCEAN)

Thank you, I have said no to a lot...unfortunately all the bigger projects that would be valuable to the company and my career. I'm just putting out fires at the moment.

I don't think I'm a very agreeable person haha. Direct has been used to describe me before.

I really sympathise. My mentor tells me to give my supervisor a choice ‘I can do x or y but not both. Which would you like me to prioritise’. But it’s not easy I know, particularly where a project seems exciting or has the potential to develop your skills.

Honestly what did it for me was that I had a health scare and I just had to drop balls and scale back. I’m not convinced I’m as highly regarded any more but neither am I frazzled and working till 10pm and every weekend.

This is a management problem. I know it's hard to let go of let things drop but I promise you that if your health gives the company will not care.

I worked for a horrendous line manager who bullied me and I worked long hours but still couldn't deliver everything. I was off sick for 7 months. Upon my return the job was being done by 3 people.

Deliver what you can. Do not mask the problem because whilst it is being done nothing will change.

I can't seem to let things drop. I am given things last minute and I just get on with it. I've told MD it's not fair. But Dh insists I should let it fail, but I find that bit hard.

As long as you get things done, there is no problem for your superiors. Things get done and they don't have to make hard decisions and get more resource. All it costs is putting up with you moaning. You won't get any change from them until you make it their problem by not doing everything any more.

If you want something doing give it to a busy person - you.

You have my sympathies as I’ve been there as a senior person. You have to be more assertive and direct in your meaning of ‘do you want A or B as I can’t do both’. If you’re otherwise enjoying it don’t leave, I did and it was both a good/bad decision. This problem will be somewhere else too so the only thing you can control is your reaction.

Good luck.

That's a really good way of putting it, thank you. Going to have to be firmer about this.