Earlier this week we had some very bad news about a family member (mum's generation), it's been a huge shock and everyone is understandably upset.
Last night I gave my aunt a lift home from my Mums house, and she started going on about how "all this" had made her think and worry about what would happen if anything happened to my mum.
She started getting very agitated about what would happen to my mums house if she was to suddenly pass on.
For context, I have one sibling, in his 30s, full time job, decently paid, diagnosed as high functioning autistic in his 20s. He lives with mum.
I'm early 40s, married, 12 Yr old DC, early 20s stepdaughter, live in a council house, DH is disabled and needs adaptations. Work part time due to caring responsibilities and have just been diagnosed with "mild eupd" (direct quote from my psychiatrist)
Upshot of this conversation. With my aunt is she believes that Mum is going to leave the house to me and my brother jointly. And they're afraid that I'll make him move out.
"Because he won't be able to afford anything big enough for him and the 4 cats alone"
Now obviously it's up to my mum who she leaves the house to. None of my, (or my aunt's for that matters) business.
But am I being unreasonable to be annoyed that the family are already trying to prepare me for being screwed over again? That him and the cats are more important than my family?
The other suggestion is that we move back in with him. And I "Look after" him. It's a 4 bedroom house but he doesn't do any cleaning, leaves the kitchen a mess and refuses to tidy up.
As background I'm already expected to drive not only mum, but him and my aunts around when needed as "He's autistic, it's a lot harder for him to do a driving test and he doesn't want to drive with all the nutters on the road. You're driving anyway so you can do it."
I laughed that out of the car. At his age I had my own place, a child and a partner. Why am I expected to "look after" him?
He earns more than I do. He will only have himself to look after (and the cats) so why am I expected to either let him have the house rent free, or move in and look after him?
Sorry for the rant. As far as I know mums not in any danger of going anywhere. I'm just annoyed that it appears I'm being set up to fail again.