How do you manage childcare when sick?

[yentirb]

How do you and DH/DP split childcare when your kids are sick?

If you both work, does one parent predominantly take time off for childcare?

Also, how the hell do people keep jobs when their kids are poorly and can't attend childcare, especially when they're too poorly to even stay with family.

Having a hard time over this at home. I have small kids 3&1 both are sick constantly, I'm falling behind with my degree and placement (student nurse). DH has helped on occasion but I'm made to feel like the worst person, constant threats of him losing his job and us having no income, or that he'll be made redundant (?).

At this point I'm extremely depressed and wondering what's the point me continuing with my degree if I'm going to be off work the majority of it due to sickness, it's almost monthly.

Also didn't realise it was all going to be this hard

Thanks for reading,
Very sleep deprived and depressed mum.

Well, I had to set up my own company, work flexible hours and have a savings account to manage. My ex did nothing, flew in his career while moaning about paying maintenance and never taking our child for even half the correct time he was supposed to because he only wanted custody to reduce maintenance but they never check that they are following through.

I understand that that's not possible for everyone but honestly I would have been sacked with the amount of time off I needed with common colds and tummy bugs my DD had when she was little. I had no one to help me and you can't get a strange nanny in for sick cover when your child is only used to you.

This time around (second child, second husband) I've had help from the start with a part time nanny/babysitter who just plays with my ds and helps and he's so familiar with her that she can help while he's poorly. She's also available flexibly which again is rare.

People I know cope with parents, in-laws and siblings all helping or they have full time nanny's. Not helpful if you dont have either. It's really tough op, hang in there.

Both work and had to split the ill days between us, sometimes my parents would travel up (2h) to help but dh mum too old to
look after an ill child. In your situation if his job is seriously at risk I would probably do more but explained that he would have to do more eve/weekends in order for you to catch up on the work your not getting done. Would that work?

He's not had any issues with work or warnings, he just tells me he'll get sacked. His job is 5 in 3 off, on a rolling rota and he doesn't know the hours of the shift until the night before. He can't volunteer set days to work around mine. To be fair, when he's here he's brilliant and he's took Sunday off when both DS was really poorly. Things have just started to get harder and I feel somewhat alone in the process or made to feel like it's my fault if he has to take time off.

I'm probably tired and overly emotional.

I have children similar age. I work from home so luckily that works out if the kids are sick, it was something I factored in when choosing my career. I don’t think I could have arranged childcare around shift work, it would be very stressful.

I guess if your family are relying on you husbands income then it’s important that his job is safe. In my experience uni’s are very flexible in these situations.

what exactly are you falling behind with? If it’s coursework then this may need to be done when kids are asleep or occupied and could you not opt to catch up on student nursing hours missed by night and weekend working?

@Leobynature I'm lucky enough that my placement lets me do nights and twilights, and this particular placement is quiet so I can get some of my coursework done.

So I'm trying to juggle it around as best I can. Since October we've had covid, vomitting bug twice, hand foot and mouth, ear infections, chest infections and tonsilitis.

I've caught all of them too, so it's definetly been hard. I think I'm incredibly tired and just need to calm my nerves. I have serious health anxiety and depression, I think sleep deprivation has made me question everything and become a bit more low.

It's really hard and I'm struggling.

Things sound like they have been very difficult and you are finding a way to get manage it all. , When you are out of this difficult situation and catch up with your work you may feel more optimistic.