My 4 year old summer born (so 4 years 4 months) has recently started year R at a fee paying school. She’s quite independent and didn’t go to any preschool settings due to the pandemic and that she has a health vulnerability.
She started part time and has been quite unwell with covid once when the trouble started.
We were told she said to the teachers ‘go away’ the day she came back after 10 days off, she was utterly exhausted. It’s difficult to understand context but it’s possible she just needed space. This was escalated to the head.
Then today I was phoned during work which was very difficult but told that dd’s behaviour had been bad. It transpired that she had put mud on someone’s face (no idea the context), had not stopped doing something when asked x2 and was moved. She also laughed at a teacher when asked to stop/behave. I was told the most serious was the ‘laughing’. She also just walks away when she doesn’t want to do something.
I’m a bit confused, she’s really young, new to formal settings and doesn’t understand school rules yet. I suspect her laughing was a nervous response rather than a naughty one. She’s also made friends with a ‘naughty’ boy in the class and the teacher tells me she does copy his behaviour. However that was dismissed today by the Head.
DD is fine at home, reads fluently for 4, loves colouring, plays independently, holds good conversations… does not always exhibit good behaviour but 95% of the time.
It’s a very mixed picture, one day everything is really good, the next I’m being phoned by the Head. I don’t hear how they’ve managed to engage her, I’m worried she might be a bit bored as she knows her phonics etc. I have asked if they’ve discussed any of her interests with her but they haven’t really (I was thinking good as distraction etc)
We don’t see these behaviours at home although since starting there she has changed into being more silly. I assumed it was transition. The school don’t appear to have done any reward charts/time out etc. I’m unclear what to do to help her with this.
The worst thing of all that I can’t get out of my head is that it feels that the school don’t like her… there’s no warmth or compassion. I’m seriously considering moving her to see if there’s a better fit for her…..
Does anyone have any encouragement or wise words?