Who Will Look After You When You Are Old?

[Dalekjastninerels]

As someone who is single with no children I have heard this on a few occassions.

To which my answers are myself and if I get Dementia, the Nursing Home

I think it's a bit selfish to lumber your dc with looking after you in your old age, I really just want my dc to live their own lives, I'd like them to spend time with me but not look after me. I'll do it myself or I'll pay someone to do it.

I’ll dump DP (he’s only 4 years younger than me!) find a nice healthy strong younger man and lull him into caring for me.... Joking!

Nobody. I'm sadly childless & single aged 46.

But to be fair I've met elderly patients with up to 4 children who never see them because they live abroad/ too far away. So you can't rely on your children.

Even if children are not very interested in "looking after" they would still step in even if to arrange some kind of care home and possibly deal with inheritance if any left.

But for those of us who don't have children or have children who are unable to be involved b/c they need care, the future is not at all rosy.

I expect state would step in when we are found rotting for a few weeks/months . .

That would be my answer too, OP.... myself and nursing home. I wont be getting to that stage anyway.

I think paid carers. I’m not going to be doing any elder care for our parents and I wouldn’t expect my DC to do that for me either!!

I’ve told my children to feed me a bottle of wine and tip me over a cliff
As , having seen my father die of dementia in a nursing home , I’m not prepared to put myself or my family through that

hopefully by that time , euthanasia will be more acceptable

When I get old enough that the house and garden is too much work I shall move into sheltered accomodation where there are people on hand to check on you and assess the state of your health and judge when you need you go into a nursing home.

Why was my post deleted and Clueless' post was allowed to stay up??????!!!!!!!

I reported her, it should have been deleted for attacking me for no reason!!!!!

Clueless can have a

I have 4 dc and I expect them to have their own lives to live. I wouldn’t want them to give up anything to care for me. I will downsize into something manageable and easy when everyone has left uni/home. I really hope that we have a more realistic view on euthanasia/ pas by the time I get older. I know people say that we struggle for life but I’ve known people in care homes and often they are existing rather than living. It’s so sad watching relatives crumble away being confused and upset all the time. I’d rather the state would let you make decisions about your own death.

Another vote for Dignitas or praying the law changes to allow assisted dying for those who choose it. Would certainly help the bed blocking/social care problem.

Dignitas. I don’t want anyone looking after me.

Dignitas is very expensive... and also no good if you have ever been sectioned.

Take it up with MNHQ then.

I’m using Dignitas as shorthand for euthanasia.

I think I'd like to be independent as long as I can and hope I die suddenly rather than have to go into any kind of home.

Who cares
just worry about that when you get there, or possibly not as you’ll be demented anyway 😂😂

I would not want or expect my children ( 2 adult DDs) to physically care for me, but I would want them to take legal and administrative responsibility for me/us if we become unable to do this for ourselves.

They saw me doing this for my parents, and saw the benefits of having a POA. We are healthy and mentally capable now and are playing our part by clarifying our financial and administrative affairs so that there is as little guesswork or sorting through files as possible.

I have no idea. My grandparents were cared for my DPs. My DM sadly died young. I absolutely will care for my DF, he wouldn’t expect it but he deserves it. He would hate a nursing home. He is the most wonderful DF & I wouldn’t see it as a burden, it would be a privalige.
I won’t expect it from my DC, id quite happily go into a nursing home the way I feel now. But who knows, I’m sure it will all work out.

I don’t really expect to get old. I assume I will end things when I’ve had enough. Whenever that is. Younger or older.

I expect to have children eventually and when I am old I expect to be in a care home.

I will never expect my children to quit their jobs, build annexes or devote 5-10 years wiping my arse.

I'd rather be in a home with my family visiting and ensuring I'm being looked after.

It's always the women forced to give up their careers, jobs, independence to wipe out arses.

My eventual children will hopefully research a good home and let me live there where I can stir up drama rather than being a burden.

You will need someone to advocate for you if dementia sets in as you won’t be able to recognise it / you will be sure that you are fine when you are not.
if there is no one - I.e you literally know no younger people on a close level who would recognise the signs and look after your welfare I.e organising when you need nursing home care, organise your finances when you can’t etc, then probably it would take a serious event where you end up in hospital for it to alert the council that you are totally alone and unable to arrange your own care properly.

Just as much denial and naivety on this thread as on the last very similar thread recently

I also wonder how easy the "just ship me off to Dignitas" thing could actually be?

I mean, it's horrific enough having your cat put to sleep, I'm really not sure if I could put DS through watching me being euthanised. I guess you have to have somebody present? And if you don't, imagine the guilt you would feel as the child just merrily waving your mum off one day knowing you'll never see her again.

As far as I understand it because euthanasia isn't legal in the UK you very much can't have someone from the UK present with you

But as this thread is primarily about how people without children are planning their old age the child waving their parent off on their way to euthanasia may be irrelevant to at least some of the posters?

Tbf having seen my grandmother (a strong advocate for euthanasia) suffer through altzheimers, I would support my mum with assisted dying if she wanted to go that route in a few years time. It would be horrible but I would also totally understand it.