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Advice on clingy 9.5 year old

3 replies

student86 · 28/11/2022 18:29

Honesty I'm trying to be patient but I'm getting close to the end of my tether with her.

She never used to be like this but the last year it's got gradually worse to the point where I'd just as well reattach the umbilical cord!

There's no obvious reason why it started and she's my youngest of four and I've never had this with any of my others.

The final straw is tonight I'm once again sitting freezing at football while all the other parents go to the Cafe for a heat. If I try and leave she just starts crying and will follow me.

I need to walk her to and from her school door with all the mums with reception children.

I can't take on much needed extra hours at work as there's a half hour cross over between her dad leaving and me getting in and she refuses to be left with her older siblings.

She will stay with her dad but always wants to know where I am and when I'll be back.

So as not to drip feed she has adhd and is on the pathway for an autism diagnosis but she used to be fine being away from me.

I know this will come across as I'm really heartless but I'm honestly losing all patience now.

Anyone have any tips?

I feel like I've got a newborn most of the time trying to work my life around her.

OP posts:
student86 · 28/11/2022 22:48

Bump!

OP posts:
VanellopeVonSchweetz99 · 29/11/2022 00:32

My DD was the same 9-10, and I was just discussing it now with a friend who has a similar experience. It was almost like my DD regressed, she has never been very cuddly with me but at that age she took to sleeping with me, as close as possible. She seemed to need it and it wasn't an issue for me, I enjoyed it actually (mostly). Friendships were a nightmare though. And then as soon as she turned 11, it was like turning a switch, much more mature, sensible and understanding (with her friends) and independent. I think it's a normal stage. Another friend recommended the book Untangled by Lisa Damour, it's about guiding girls through adolescence. I found it super "American" (sorry Americans, I am married to one...) but parts of it really useful and comforting. It made me look at DD with more loving eyes. Wish my mum had read something like it.

LydiaBennetsUglyBonnet · 29/11/2022 00:43

Following OP as my DD is the exact same age and going through the same phase!

How is she at school? My DD is experiencing some bullying and I’m putting her clinginess down to that

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