I want to keep this brief, so you just know it’s going to be an epic not seen since Homer (not Simpson) allegedly wrote The Iliad! (I feel that for clarification purposes, I should state that The Iliad, as well as Odyssey probably weren’t written down initially but followed the traditional oral method whereby they were memorised and recited through the ages)(and also probably not by Homer, Simpson or otherwise!).
When I was young, and living in the UK, there was a lot of racial hatred towards people of colour (thanks for that, Enoch Powell you scumbag) and we (POC) were generally treated, well, let’s say, not very nicely. As the UK moved out of the dark ages into more enlightened times, we started to hear more about sisterhood and standing, not only up for each other, but with each other. And we really did. It wasn’t just groups of white girls, or black girls, but we kind of all made friends with each other and some of those friendships are ones that I still have today.
I just despair at times though when I read some of the threads and the responses that people give. Let’s assume that 75% of the people on MN are female. Responses to threads shouldn’t just agree with what the poster wants (and I’m sure that lots of you will come at me for this post) but surely if a post offends you so much that you must leave a vitriolic and hateful reply to it, you are better off to report it to the MN moderators (who do a fantastic job but also can’t be in all places at all times, they probably aren’t so omniscient and omnipotent that they just know who is and isn’t being offensive).
Why do some women feel so compelled to tear others down? It’s not normal in a society to all agree with each other, but would you actually walk up to a stranger in the street and say the things that you feel so comfortable in typing to that same stranger?
And you would reply that it’s different, it’s the internet. Is it different? Does being on the internet mean it’s okay to verbally (well, in writing but you get my point) try to flay the skin off someone else, layer by layer? Wasn’t the whole point of the MN forum to be somewhere that was to be supportive of women when they needed that support?
When I was younger, I was always told that I mustn’t say bad things about a person, even if those things were true and that I mustn’t say bad things to a person, because it’s not my place to judge, that I cannot fully comprehend what someone else is feeling, even if, by some quirk of fate, that person’s circumstances have been exactly the same as mine! Because each person feels, responds and behaves differently even when the situation may be the same as the one that another person is in.
It’s exactly because of those differences that we really should support each other. And if we don’t like the post? Well, it’s a forum! There’s going to be a post that you will like, or a situation that you can be supportive of.
Just the way that if you were watching television and didn’t like the show, you would switch off or over, just glide on past that post and find a different one. I mean, you don’t immediately call the channel up and have a go at the switchboard operator because channel 4 has put yet another facile offering on, do you? And if you actually do, then this probably says more about you, than the poster whose post you dislike so much!
So please, come on, let’s have a bit more love and understanding, let’s show each other some compassion and most of all, let’s try and support each other, rather than tear each other down ❤️
P.S. If by some strange quirk of fate, I get lots of replies to this post and it seems like you’re not hearing anything back from me, it’s because I’m due in hospital in the morning (which is actually just a couple of hours away, gotta love insomnia) but I promise that I will endeavour to reply to each and every civil reply upon my return!