Had a really hard day with DS. He has ASD and just kept kicking off today. Didn’t want to eat dinner and ended up throwing it at me. Took him into the garden to play and he shit himself. Ended up having to bin his pants/trousers/socks and shoes and literally showering him off. Tried to play games with him but he just laid on the floor screaming. gave him his dinner and he said he wouldn’t eat because it was burnt. It wasn’t, but he decided it was so flatly refused to eat. When I took him to get ready for bed, discovered he had broken into bedroom, taken some sharpies and drawn on his wall. Even worse, he’d written his siblings name to try and blame them.
sat down to read his book and told him what an awful day I’d had with him. How he’d played me up all day, and I couldn’t think of a single nice part of the day. He said he’d enjoyed playing outside, but he’d shit himself so I said I hadn’t enjoyed that much.
I’ve just put him to bed and feel shit. He didn’t seem to care what I said, but I wish I hadn’t said it. It really was a crap day, but I’m just sat by myself wanting to cry. Why is it so much easier to see what I should have done later, rather than remembering to be calm and therapeutic at the time