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Said something shitty and now I feel shit

23 replies

ShittyShittyDay · 27/11/2022 20:20

Had a really hard day with DS. He has ASD and just kept kicking off today. Didn’t want to eat dinner and ended up throwing it at me. Took him into the garden to play and he shit himself. Ended up having to bin his pants/trousers/socks and shoes and literally showering him off. Tried to play games with him but he just laid on the floor screaming. gave him his dinner and he said he wouldn’t eat because it was burnt. It wasn’t, but he decided it was so flatly refused to eat. When I took him to get ready for bed, discovered he had broken into bedroom, taken some sharpies and drawn on his wall. Even worse, he’d written his siblings name to try and blame them.
sat down to read his book and told him what an awful day I’d had with him. How he’d played me up all day, and I couldn’t think of a single nice part of the day. He said he’d enjoyed playing outside, but he’d shit himself so I said I hadn’t enjoyed that much.
I’ve just put him to bed and feel shit. He didn’t seem to care what I said, but I wish I hadn’t said it. It really was a crap day, but I’m just sat by myself wanting to cry. Why is it so much easier to see what I should have done later, rather than remembering to be calm and therapeutic at the time

OP posts:
BrutusMcDogface · 27/11/2022 20:22

Because you’re only human.

Tomorrow is a new day. 💐

KMW79 · 27/11/2022 20:26

Because sometimes it’s ok to react like a person who is struggling, not just a mum. Take care of yourself and remember you are allowed to feel how you feel when things are going a bit shit. 💐

ShittyShittyDay · 27/11/2022 21:09

Thanks, just wish I could have ended the day on something nicer. He doesn’t seem to notice, or just doesn’t care. Feel like I could have done better

OP posts:

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hoipolloih · 27/11/2022 21:17

For what it's worth, I think you've done a remarkable job on what sounds like a truly awful day. You were honest, that's all.

Knockmealdowns · 27/11/2022 21:32

Maybe ye both had an off day, the same day? It can’t be easy, tomorrow you both will do better..

Cakeandcoffee93 · 27/11/2022 21:33

You got through the day- tomorrow is a new challenge. It’s typical he remembers the garden. Kids are funny, I hope you chill and enjoy the rest of Sunday

WooYa · 27/11/2022 21:35

I've also had an awful day with DS who has ASD. Spent the day swapping between telling him off and being upset that I'm cross and it's not his fault. Write today off and start afresh tomorrow Flowers

justcallmebozo · 27/11/2022 23:00

ShittyShittyDay · 27/11/2022 21:09

Thanks, just wish I could have ended the day on something nicer. He doesn’t seem to notice, or just doesn’t care. Feel like I could have done better

Oh No!!! Do you mean you're not perfect????

Well, none of us are, and considering how your day has been you did ok. More than ok. Probably better than a lot of us would have done.

MarianneVos · 27/11/2022 23:03

The fact you regret it means you are a good parent, just human. No one can be perfect.

unname · 27/11/2022 23:54

Be gentle with yourself OP. It was a bad day for you. You didn’t do anything terrible.

TerraNostra · 28/11/2022 00:06

Presumably you didn't actually use the word "shit" when you said you hadn't enjoyed playing outside because he shit himself?

TerraNostra · 28/11/2022 00:07

How old is he?

lollipoprainbow · 28/11/2022 00:09

I've had a terrible weekend with my dd10 too (ASD). Flowers

Coatdegroan · 28/11/2022 00:31

Being calm and therapeutic is hard. Not possible all of the time under such challenging circumstances.

Sounds like you're a really caring person

KateBalesCardi · 28/11/2022 00:49

If you really were shit you wouldn't be feeling shit, you just wouldn't care. But you do care, and that tells everyone reading your OP that you're a good parent who's had a shit day, not a shit parent who doesn't give a toss. So stop beating yourself up (that's an order!) and give yourself a break and a bit of credit for getting everyone through the day in one piece, that's good enough for today Flowers

GeorgiaGirl52 · 28/11/2022 01:08

Just because he does not seem to notice or care how you feel doesn't mean he shouldn't be told how his words and actions affect other people. Sometimes children (and adults) who cannot read facial expressions need to be told flat out - "It makes me sad when you say the food tastes burnt. It makes me angry when you throw the food at the TV." And the consequences - "You cannot watch TV because there is pudding on the screen. I will clean it up after you are in bed."

LunaAndHerMoonDragons · 28/11/2022 01:20

I had a horrible day last week with my Autistic DC, they spent 15 minutes screaming at each other over a peg. This was just the last straw, it'd been all day. I yelled and then I couldn't stop crying. I hate yelling. We're human and sometimes it gets too much. I spend so much time being calm and therapeutic, some days there's nothing left. Take a breath, get some sleep and start again tomorrow.

ShittyShittyDay · 28/11/2022 07:26

Thanks everyone. Had an early night and everything seems better this morning! We’ve had a cuddle in bed and I’ve said I think today will be better. Thanks for all the support! It’s so hard sometimes isn’t it?

OP posts:
AnotherCountryMummy · 28/11/2022 07:34

I just wanted to wish you a better day today 🙂 You're doing a grand job.

Deathraystare · 28/11/2022 11:41

You sound like a lovely mum and he did say he enjoyed playing outside . Give yourself a break (if he will let you!!).

GCAcademic · 28/11/2022 11:46

The only person you're being shitty to is yourself, OP. You're doing more than OK, and much better than many of us could in the situation you've described. And I'm sure your son prefers having a mum who is human rather than a robot.

Snugglemonkey · 28/11/2022 11:47

TerraNostra · 28/11/2022 00:06

Presumably you didn't actually use the word "shit" when you said you hadn't enjoyed playing outside because he shit himself?

Honestly, so what if she did?

Newwardrobe · 28/11/2022 11:52

Show me a parent that hasn't said something they regret to their children and I'll show you a liar .
My dd has made it to the age of 24 and some of the things I've said from years ago still trouble me.
Parenting is so hard op , I'm glad you had a nice cuddle.

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