When there has not been any falling out, or difference of opinion, but things just aren’t what they were?
I made a close friend when we had babies and we spent a great deal of time together. As time went by, we moved away a little, kids went to school and our lives became quite different but we still enjoyed meeting with and without the children. I assumed we’d always be friends.
We now have young teenagers. I feel meetings have become harder to organise and our children like each other but share little in common. As women, our lives are quite different, which I think is a reflection of quite different values (neither better, just different). Her children go to boarding school, mine locally. I work in a profession, she stays at home. She loves exotic holidays, smart clothes, interior design etc. but I’m not so bothered with that stuff. Recently, I asked them for a Saturday evening of lasagne and board games. They couldn’t make it and suggested instead a show in London (they had spare tickets) followed by a meal at a smart restaurant (a £500 day out), which felt like a big ask. We both have materially comfortable lives, loving families and other friends.
On the surface it seems like it’s financial differences pulling us apart, but it actually feels more like a difference in values, which is perhaps harder to overcome. There’s been no falling out or row just a drifting apart. Should I persist, or let the friendship go?