Christmas shopping with a man

[Bereta]

DP (not living together) wants to take me Christmas shopping but there is nothing I want or need and tbh I am not that good at Christmas hype or even receiving presents just because it's Christmas. I don't even enjoy shopping now so many shops have closed down, eg Debenhams.

I suggested various outings instead but due to our complicated lives, we can only book at short notice and everything we would fancy has been booked up (Hamilton tickets are just too much!).

We are in our 50s so no need for "stuff".
How can I get out of it without offending him?

Go for a nice meal? You can book somewhere at short notice.

Just have lunch and a mooch round a Christmas Market. Grab a few decorations and declare yourself shattered!!
Home for an early night instead.....

There used to be a ticket office in Leicester Square for returns for on the day for Hamilton, you really can get bargain priced tickets.

Oooh, @Sprouttreesareamazing that's not a bad idea...

@Mindymomo I will bear that in mind and check at some point in the future, but we are too far from London to chance the trip without pre-booking.

Maybe a voucher for a cinema? The imax ones with the bar and drinks etc ? Or a promise for a couple of meals somewhere special?
I agree. I prefer special outings rather than 'things'. A weekend away somewhere ? Book a cottage somewhere for a few days ?

I do have an IOU idea for a show which will be on early next year, but he still thinks we need to go shopping before Christmas and I break up in cold sweat at the thought and fear being a proverbial party pooper if I decline.

Hamilton is on Disney+

That's good to know for the future, thank you @Roundandnour we don't get that at the moment but perhaps we will.

Can you go on a nice shopping trip for things you do need, as there must be something you need even if there's no "stuff" you want. Eg, nice cooking ingredients if you like to cook, nice smellies if you're not allergic/have specific needs, gardening stuff ready for Spring if you have a garden, new bedding etc etc. Seeing as you don't want loads of stuff you could wander at leisure taking a good look at things that are maybe a little more luxurious than you'd normally get but still things you need rather than "stuff"?

does he want to shop for you... or rather hoping you will help him choose presents for all his nearest and dearest? I made this mistake once and found myself dragged into some very unromantic shops 🤣

Yes, he wants to shop for me and I think that makes me feel awkward and I certainly wouldn't just ask for something.
I suppose I never waited for anyone to buy me anything, just got in with things.

His family tend to be quite direct what they want so that's all bought mostly on line.

I would be more than happy to go to a good garden centre but he talked about a shopping centre; weekends before Christmas is a minor horror to me, can't go weekdays.

Would it offend him if I say no shopping, just lunch?

You need to be clear with him; a shopping centre isn't a treat for me love, let's go to x place (Christmas market or indie shops) and have lunch and a mooch and make it really Christmassy.

There still is, I was there last week. No bargains really. Got the last two tickets for a play, they were still nearly £50 each. Hamilton etc was over £100.

Perfect

I'm in my 50's too and much prefer experiences over material things. I'd much rather have tickets, a trip or a nice meal out. Tell him you'd rather have his time, surely he can't be anything other than faltered by that.

I love going to a Christmas market or a national trust house for a wander & a nice lunch and coffee & mincepie. You don’t get the manic stress of a proper Christmas shopping trip but have a nice day out together.

Is he just concerned he won't get you a nice present so wants your input? If this is the case I'd make an online wishlist and let him pick a few things from it. Include things that are edible or wear out such as cheese hamper, really good chocolate, drinks or toiletries/nice pyjamas/ slippers.
Then you are free to spend some time together in a way that's not stressful.

Thank u all, I would hate to look ungrateful or make him miserable by rejecting his offer, Christmas is stressful enough.