Sending food anonymously. Is it possible?

[ariboriorice]

Through a random set of circumstances, today I got chatting to a family who are 'middle class' (whatever that means!!) but once all the bills were paid, were struggling to feed their kids. I don't have loads myself but I'd really like to send them some shopping. They'd be utterly mortified if they knew it was me, so is there a way to do this anonymously? I've looked at deliveries/click & collect from all big supermarkets and when it's delivered, it'll have my name on the bit of paper. Want to do it anonymously. Is there a way to do it?

Fgs, I am pretty sure OP used the term MC to mean a family you might not think would struggle - parents in decent jobs, mortgage rather than rent etc.

But OP I think others are right - people would turn away a delivery thinking it was a mistake and if vouchers, they would remember who they'd talked to and put two and two together.

Tbh, they might also have been slightly exaggerating as part of having a moan and then might be ashamed that someone had taken it so seriously.

Wow...I walk away for a few minutes, come back and am utterly blown away with how many judgy comments there are here.

For the record (not that it's anyone's business), the family is in need through no fault of their own. I wasn't asking for judgy comments, just if there was a way to help.

Thanks to those who suggested a gift card. I'd considered that but as I'm not in their area, wasn't sure how to send it without an obvious postmark.

Is there a way that you could put a dot in the first name and a dot in the last name field? It might get past the Asterix requirement but without having to input your details. Or 'Anon Anon' ?

Pretty sure there's a way to send post without an identifying postmark. Sure you could organise a voucher online too.

They might know its you anyway op, if a voucher turns up coincidentally after telling you how hard up they are.

Exactly!

So we know they don't spend their money on fags, tats and Live Laugh Love signs.

Send them a voucher.

No one wants a pile of food selected by someone else. If you want to help, put some money / supermarket vouchers inside a christmas card and pop it through their letterbox.

The thing is some bills aren't exactly essential but can be difficult to stop paying as often you are tied in to minimum contracts (for virgin/sky etc), or it's car payments on a car that you could comfortably afford before inflation went up by unprecedented amounts. It's not as easy as just getting a cheaper car immediately.
I'm not saying this entitles 'middle classes' to benefits or charity but I am saying that it's easy to judge people who were living to their means but are now struggling in the wake of the cost of living crisis.

OP have you ever received anything anonymously? It is HORRIBLE. Makes you question everything and everyone. Are people watching you, judging you? Don't add to their stress.

Tell a white lie if you need to - pretend you got a supermarket gift card from work that you would like to pass their way - but don't do it anonymously.

I am on a tight budget and have a few people that pity me. They are lovely but encountering their pity makes my life harder not easier tbh.

Thank you @CrapBucket. That's good advice and I hadn't thought of that! Last thing I'd want to do!

The thing is, this is an anonymous advice forum. You don’t get to pick whether you get ‘judgey comments’ or not.

This might come from a good place, but it’s a bad idea. You met this family TODAY. It’s not natural to be this involved with someone you hardly know. What if they find it humiliating to receive food parcels from random strangers?

Thoughtful idea, OP.

The gift voucher option is good. However, they may be tempted to purchase other things rather than food.

You could purchase the items you want to send, put them in a box and take to the post office for delivery. Pay the postage using cash and don’t use the post office closest to you. That should keep it anonymous.

Use Morrisons.

I haven't had a 'bit of paper' with the delivery for about 5 years.

I'd feel way more uncomfortable if it was anonymous. I'd be looking at everyone and wondering "was it her/him?" and be really embarrassed at being unable to thank whoever it was.

Would you eat food that randomly showed up on your doorstep?

Personally no but that's not what the OP asked.

There are websites where you can send gift cards anonymously. I wouldn't order food directly - you don't know what they eat, if they have done a shop just before your arrives etc.

Well why would anyone else then?

It's a waste of time, op. They'll tell the driver they've made a mistake and send them away.

Thanks everyone for your thoughts. I've taken all your comments on board and on balance, I think it's best that I leave it be and not do anything. Over and out! 💕

I agree with @CrapBucket . Pretending that it’s something you’ve won/ got as a present/ got from work is the best way.

How about a hamper? It's coming to Christmas so all the hamper basket kits are in the shops so go and buy a load of essentials and some nicer bits and pieces etc gift card in there too if you can afford to add this and then wrap it as if it's a gift , you won it in a raffle etc not charity here you go friend you have it etc etc a win win I reckon!

I'm not sure you should do this OP. We are probably what comes under MC and truly struggling. We have a loan to repay and childcare/rent/life costs such as heating gas fuel etc have all gone up.
The rents in our area have gone up so much we can't afford to move somewhere cheaper. We do have Netflix but don't pay tv licence or anything else so it's our only entertainment. We don't go out or have takeaways. We do have high train fares for work and petrol and parking costs. Again all have gone up but our salaries haven't. Both of us are applying for new jobs but haven't been successful. The stress is real. And tbh just going into an interview this stressed isn't conducive to success.

Back to you OP, the food might just make them more depressed. You might want to do a hamper disguised as a present as others have suggested.

Why not just send some cash to a food bank in their area? It will help someone in a similar situation without all of the issues of sending direct donations to people.