Don't put me in a corner - solo dining

[WeAreTheHeroes]

Treating myself to breakfast in a brasserie chain restaurant. The member of staff who greeted me guided me to a table away from the main part of the restaurant, tucked away round a corner. He looked most put out when I said I'd rather sit where the other diners were. It's not as if they have tables for one and I was taking up more space.

But was that the smallest table?

I like sitting tucked away, even when with someone else. Did he move you when you asked for the different table?

He did - but his facial expression was somewhat taken aback. I've realised he's the same person who seated me in that area on a previous visit when he said, "let's find you somewhere quiet" when that's just not something I'm bothered about.

I may be reading way too much into things, but I wondered if he didn't want the middle aged woman on her own to be prominent? It doesn't bother me that I'm on my own one iota.

Maybe he'd just prefer to be tucked away if he was on his own? I know I would

Maybe.

I’d much rather be in the ticked away area if I was on my own. I think he was being considerate, but ywnbu to ask for the other area if that’s what you preferred.

I dined alone yesterday and wanted to be tucked away, I'm happy to do it alone but I like the peace of being in a quieter part

Sorry to add I don't think your age has anything to do with it, I think the majority prefer to be tucked away

You are being unreasonable if you took a larger table over a smaller one

I'd not want to be hidden away as such but generally by a wall, facing into the room.

Don’t see any issue with what he did and agree with PP who said he was probably trying to be considerate. A lot of people who dine out alone will read etc, so naturally prefer the quiet.

I don't think I'd like to be separated by lots of tables from the other diners which is what it sounds like was going to happen here.

In lots of restaurants and eateries, most tables are square and can be separated or set up for 2/4/6 (say against a banquette) or 8 so there is no reason why the OP would have to be seated away from the other diners.

What should have happened is the person showing you to your table should have asked "Would you like to sit here?" pointing to a table that could be set up for a single patron "...or would you prefer to sit somewhere quieter?" pointing to the area that they brought the OP to first without asking. I don't think they did that.

Never in my life have I had attentive service while 'tucked away'. It's nice to have a peaceful nook but having to wave frantically to get attention or give up and approach someone is not peaceful.

Although this is not a AIBU thread, YANBU. He shouldn’t assume anything.

I hear you OP. I went to a pizza restaurant in Birmingham on my own the other night. There were some empty tables the same size but they cleared boxes off a table in a back corner next to the kitchen and staff area and put my there. It was in a bit of a corridor section so there were diners at the next table but I was last and it was clearly a table they weren't using for diners until I showed up on my own. I was bemused by it and not sure what the issue was.

Interesting to hear other PPs think it was considerate. Didn't occur to me that it was considerate. I just felt a bit unwelcome and was worried service would be poor tucked away like that - which, to be fair, it wasn't at all.

I’m a middle aged woman who accidentally went solo to a restaurant for an early meal on Valentine’s Day.

My guess would be most solo diners would occupy themselves with reading or listening to something on their phone. In that case the quieter the better. So I think the waiter was trying to anticipate your needs. In this case he was wrong.

I think sexism has played a part OP - might not be the whole thing but there has always been an air of disapproval towards women who are out and active without a man’s —oversight— protection.

when they are ‘helpfully’ ushering you into the shadows they believe they are protecting you from others’ disapproval. But they also don’t want to lose the custom of other diners whom they fear might feel infected by your moral decrepitude in refusing to do things properly and stay away.

I actually think it gets less as you age because - in a perversely just as sexist train of thought - they believe you are less likely to be a prostitute as you become more raddled :-D

I’d prefer not to be in the middle either of I’m eating by myself (which I’ve done on many occasions)

I think there’s a difference between in the middle of and in what is basically a separate room though?

I like to think of the OP sitting at the big round table for 6 in the middle of the restaurant on her own!

The OP didn't say it was the smallest table. I wouldn't like that, although I'd be understanding about the size of table I got in the main part, as I'm sure you were.

I actually think it gets less as you age because - in a perversely just as sexist train of thought - they believe you are less likely to be a prostitute as you become more raddled :-D

😂😂😂💖

I like to think of the OP sitting at the big round table for 6 in the middle of the restaurant on her own!

I was out in a group of six the other day. The waiter initially wanted to seat us at the big round table in the middle of the restaurant. We said we'd prefer to be in the corner. 😊

Always prefer to be at the side or in the corner, whether on my own or in a group. Then you don't have people constantly walking past as they're arriving or leaving or on their way to the loo. And your conversation can be more private.

I think this is fairly standard for solo diners. They stick you in spaces where they can't put a proper table or next to the kitchen door. I used to travel a lot and it was fairly standard, just ask to be moved or go elsewhere.

Im 60 snd not at all fashionable. I eat out alone quite alot at various cafes. I've never been tucked away anywhere, though I do prefer to have my back against the wall so I can look out and observe!

I prefer to be to the side anyway much nicer than being sat surrounded by tables