Any advice/stories welcome… but please be nice, I know mumsnetters can be brutal!
DP is a very lovely person. He is kind and hard working… however I keep getting the ‘ick’. It’s some mannerisms/things he says/random noises he makes. He’ll also frequently not really listen to me - I’ll say something and his response is just incorrect, or he’ll guess what I’m saying respond before I finish and get it wrong. He’s not done anything ‘wrong’ and I do really love him but I don’t feel like the relationship is ‘right’… he’s irritating me.
We previously started taking kids. When I look at my life I’d like to be an older person with a family but the idea of pregnancy and actually having kids, teenagers,etc. makes me feel exhausted. As I’ve developed the ‘ick’ I’ve not encouraged the ‘children’ topic (or any baby making activities!)
I have also developing a ‘schoolgirl’ crush on a colleague, but honestly I’m probably not alone (colleague is new, works in a different office and is lovely to look at, plus his job means he is literally employed to listen and be interested) I’m not taking the crush seriously, he’s avoidable and tbh he’s an attraction guy who listens, I’d be daft to not at least have a inkling of ‘you’re lovely’ (one of the mid 50s married with kids women in my team has said ‘he’s very nice!’… he’s early 30s).
So in an attempt to psychoanalyse myself I think either;
- I’m really struggling with the idea of moving into the next stage of life (children) and maybe that’s why I have the ick and I’m crushing on this younger man at work.
- I’m at the point where the relationship has run it’s course (and when I think of this, I feel panic and relief in equal measures. The panic is more the lack of ‘a family’ in my long term future though… plus what about the dog, will DP be ok, where will i live!)
- I’m just having a mid life crisis
- all this rubbish weather and the lack of sunshine is getting to me (it really is, I need sunshine)