Partners at work Xmas parties

[PopcornAndWine]

Hi,

Just seen a Twitter question by an Irish radio host asking if people would have an issue with their partner going to their work Christmas party without them. Apparently, according to a poll, 67% of people would have an issue with this.

I just find this bizarre. Quite apart from the fact that so many people have that little trust in their partners which is pretty sad, I have never had a work Christmas do where partners were invited. It has always been just staff only. I had no idea this was a common thing.

Thoughts?

It changes the dynamics if partners come, and it's not great if you don't have a partner or if your partner can't make it.

People who don't want their partners to go to a party without them shouldn't have partners.

I've never worked anywhere where partners were invited either. It is also horrifying just how many people don't trust their partners.

My partners x mas do doesn’t include partners… so no option. My work invites partners but we have young kids and no baby sitter so I’ll be going alone. We’re both ok with that.

Ridiculous. The last thing my partner would want is to attend MY work Christmas party. My colleagues are lovely but he would spend the entire time trying to remember names and keep up with the jokes that are only funny if you know the work background to them. It would change the dynamic for me as well, checking to see if he was happy, chatting, not being monopolised by the most boring person in the company in a corner, etc.

Ugh, we had one family event at work, it was horrible. I wish I didn't see some people in more private setup, with wives, kids etc. I prefer much more work environment, no partners.

How strange.
Like you I've never been to any Christmas 'do' where partners were invited. Different places of work over more than 4 decades. Same for dh.

I obviously realise they are in some places, and have no issue with that if that is the sort of party they are having, but am just surprised it is so high in the poll.

I used to go to Xhs as I work in a similar company same industry and we all knew eachother. I’d just do the meal then go home and they’d all go out after. Then he said it was really weird I did that (obv he’d invited and paid for me!) Then I found out he was having an affair with one of them!
I don’t go to my DH’s and that’s fine too. All of these things have just felt natural and in sync apart from when ExH suddenly got all cagey… so I say if it feels right for both of you why not, as pp’s have said it’s unlikely your partner will want to go unless they have mutual friends or interests in the group.

I’m not surprised, there was a thread on here the other day where rhe husband wanted to stay at the hotel like everyone else, and so many folks found it odd. Someone even suggested he was looking to hire a prostitute, was doing drugs or gambling.

people are very insecure and controlling.

I think it says more about the people who answer twitter polls than how the general population feels. I would hate to have to go to my dh work event and never in 20+ years expected him to attend any of mine. I can't think of any friends or family who would want to attend their partners party either, a bit of separation is good.

Wow

I've also never been to an Xmas do where partners were invited! I can only conclude that 67% of the people they surveyed were batshit crazy

"People who don't want their partners to go to a party without them shouldn't have partners."

My partner would rather poke his eyes out. You don't have to be joined at the hip , you can go out separately.

Actually I agree with that poster.

If someone is that insecure and controlling, they shouldn't be in a relationship.

I love a good party so mainly if want to go for the fun. DH had only worked in small companies where I've known many people anyway, even going out with his work crowd when he was in a business trip.

But now he WFH and I don't know anyone I'd probably not go.

I love it when they don't have partners, it means I don't have to go and make small talk with a room full of people I don't know and will probably never see again. I HATE the partner ones it's so cringe

Most people don't have that much in common with their colleagues, why have their partners suffer the pain.

Twice over.

I’ve never worked somewhere where partners are invited. I wouldn’t want mine there or vice versa, and he’d say the same! Just makes it annoying to have to introduce everyone

My DP's workplace has a Christmas do where partners are invited, so I've been to that and will be going again. It's free! It includes a hotel stay! So I'm happy to go. I've met his colleagues a few times now and they're all lovely.

On the other hand if I wasn't invited it wouldn't bother me at all - he's been to other work dos that are colleagues only.

Very weird. My last job partners were invited and always came (the company paid for an overnight hotel stay so people didn't tend to turn it down) so Dh always came with me. But his work Christmas do is staff only and it's never bothered me for him to go alone. He even, shock horror! Sometimes stays in a hotel for the night as it's often cheaper than a taxi home if he books early enough. If I didn't trust him to go on a night out without me I wouldn't be with him

I also agree. If the only way you can trust your partner is to keep him home or be with him , or if you can’t socialise alone or let them, then you shouldn’t be in that relationship. It’s really unhealthy

Nothing to do with trust but totally changes the dynamic. I'd rather poke my eyes out with a spoon than go to my husbands Xmas do and I imagine he'd feel the same about mine.

I've been working for the past 25 years at a variety of businesses and only once were partners invited to a Christmas do. This was back in 2000 when companies had bigger budgets.

I've never heard of anyone inviting partners in recent memory.

Partners certainly don’t come to ours.