Feel guilty being happy at Christmas?

[callabb]

My mum and gran passed away 2 years ago.
I miss them so much and they meant everything to me.
They both loved Christmas and I do too.
We made it so special.
It's got to a point now where I feel guilty watching a Christmas film without them and feel guilty listening to Christmas songs because why should I sing a long merrily when they are dead.
Does that make any sense?
Christmas will never be the same again or my life but sometimes in a split second il forget and start singing along to the radio when they songs come on.
Is this normal?
Am I a bad person for wanting to do the Christmassy things?

I am so sorry you have lost your mum and gran. It is natural that you should feel sadness at special times in the year when you reflect on their absence and all they meant to you. However it is also normal that you should also experience lots joy at those times as well, and you shouldn't feel guilty for this. You are not a bad person for wanting to do Christmassy things.

I obviously didn't know your mum and gran, but I LOVE Christmas and go all out to make it special for me and those that I love. But I would be devastated if once I am gone my daughter didn't feel she could enjoy Christmas without feeling guilty. I would far rather she had a great time (yes, even if she forgot about me for large swathes of the time) and perhaps carried on one or two of the little traditions we had while sparing a little happy thought for the Christmases we shared together.

Christina Rossetti wrote a poem called Remember, addressed to those that loved her. The last two lines are:
"Better by far you should forget and smile
Than that you should remember and be sad."

Everyone experiences grief in a different way, but you might benefit from speaking to your gp if this is really inhibiting how you live your life. Or perhaps contact Cruse Bereavment.

You're not a bad person. The world keeps turning and life goes on. Pretty sure your mum and Nan wouldn't want you feeling guilty. I get where you're coming from though as this is my first Christmas without my mum and my second without my sister x